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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

My 17 year old son wants to join the Army!!!

82 replies

sunflowerja · 15/07/2010 19:42

My son wants to join the army, I'm worried sick.
I've tried for 3 years to try and put him off but I've had to accept that this is what he wants to do.

we have taken him to the recruitment office to start the process off.

Are there any other mums/parents out there who are in the same position as us.

I watch the news and see the fallen soldiers come home in boxes!!! its heartbreaking.

OP posts:
Innogen · 27/01/2014 00:56

Bit rich for a poster above to assume that young soldiers don't understand why they are fighting.

Very patronising.

Good luck to you and your son OP. It will be very hard, but he will be in good hands and you should be proud of him for making this choice. It is a very noble one.

cory · 28/01/2014 09:39

Innogen, most countries do not recruit soldiers under age for the same reason as they do not allow under age people to vote. If I am patronising, then so are they. And so are the British who do not allow their 16 and 17yos the vote. Or are you saying it requires less understanding to take part in a war (or train for war) than to vote in a general election?

chantico · 28/01/2014 10:06

I would take the argument about "not old enough to vote" to apply to any occupation, not uniquely the Armed Forces. And of course, they are old enough to marry. And even vote (in some circumstances) in Scotland.

And I think there's a difference between the 140 or so who begin their military training before 18 in UK (they never deploy before 18) and the type of child soldier seen in active conflicts elsewhere.

Innogen · 28/01/2014 14:00

Cory, you are assuming that I don't support lowering the voting age to 16.

Lemonylemon · 28/01/2014 14:14

We're off next week to the Army recruiting office. My DS who's 16 wants to join up. He wants to go to the army college in Yorkshire. According to the person involved in his application, there would be little to no chance of being posted to, say, Afghanistan as the UK are pulling out next year. DS did stress at the thought of being sent though....

WorrySighWorrySigh · 28/01/2014 22:00

Lemonylemon would be interested to hear how your DS gets on. My DS is 15 and also wants to join up as a junior soldier. What does your DS want to do in the Army?

Lemonylemon · 29/01/2014 12:29

DS wanted to join the REME, but there's nothing going. He's now going to apply to work in vehicle recovery, so we'll see. I have to say (quite privately) that I don't think he's going to get in. He hasn't really done any training for his run yet.... I'll post again when DS has had the interview.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 29/01/2014 15:19

Oh no about REME! - that is what my DS wants to do. Is it that they are not recruiting? Does your DS do cadets now?

Lemonylemon · 30/01/2014 10:29

DS is/was involved in the ATC. He doesn't have the discipline I'm afraid..... I will ask at the interview next week about the REME (get some info for you...) :)

WorrySighWorrySigh · 30/01/2014 13:22

Thank you!

It is funny how different they all are at that age. My DS has another year of school to go so is old for the year. Totally committed at the moment but that could easily change.

Mitzi50 · 31/01/2014 23:31

OP - my son is 16 and has been steadfast in his desire to join the army for a couple of years. It is my worst nightmare but I have come to the same conclusion as Fifileboo - if I don't support him I will lose him.

Fortunately for me he is applying first to do A levels at a Defence College through the army so there is still some small hope that he will change his mind.

Lemonylemon · 07/02/2014 12:51

May I update? I'm going to anyway :)

DS had his interview with a corporate at the Army Careers Office in London yesterday morning. It went really well. He has a "conditional pass" on to selection for the army college in September.

This means he will attend a 2-day course at a local barracks so they can test his physical fitness - he has to run a mile and a half in 10 minutes.

Apparently, the interviewer was quite impressed with DS.

The personnel at the office were really, helpful. One of them said that a lot of parents were concerned about the Afghanistan thing. Basra apparently is the size of Reading, so a lot of people never see a thing. The Army do not deploy personnel until they reach the age of 18. The UK is pulling out of Afghanistan in 2014, so there will be little chance of anyone being posted there.

According to DS, the REME are recruiting, but not artificers. Vehicle recovery etc. are still being recruited for.

triplets · 09/02/2014 08:00

Hi very interested in this as two of my boys are wanting to join up, one in the Royal Marines Band Service and the other into the Army! They were 16 in Jan. I too am worried about Thomas joining the Army for obv reasons, esp as I have already lost a son, but its what he has his heart set on. Atm both are applying, Thomas would like to go to the college in Harrogate. Lemony hope you don`t mind but I have pmd you. Thanks.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 09/02/2014 08:23

Thank you for the update Lemonylemon. My DS has another few months then at the end of this school year (he is in year 10) will make his first visit to the Army careers office. He is planning to start his fitness runs as soon as the evenings start getting a bit lighter.

Lemonylemon · 10/02/2014 10:19

Triplets Have PM'd you - I did so before reading your post. I'm so sorry for your loss.....

triplets · 10/02/2014 21:57

Thank you Lemony for your message and the link, really must get down to filling the online form in, theres so much of it! Atm getting my other son sorted out, he is off to Portsmouth next week on an Aqaint Course with the Royal Marines School of Music............its all happening so quickly, not sure I`m ready for it!

WorrySighWorrySigh · 11/02/2014 07:54

Lemonylemon, I forgot to congratulate your son. Best wishes for the next stage.

By the way did you see Top Gear at the weekend? James May did a piece on the massive vehicle recovery operation from Afghanistan. It was very interesting.

Lemonylemon · 11/02/2014 10:19

Worry Thank you. I'll pass on your congrats. I didin't see the programme at the weekend, but I'm sure DS would have Tivo'd it :)

triplets · 02/08/2014 15:59

I`m back with an update! Thomas passed the selection process y/day and has been offered a place at Harrogate Army College next March. I am immensely proud of him as it was a tough experience, 17 passed out of 40. He is still hell bent on going in the Infantry/rifles, not our choice at all for obvious reasons, esp as we have already lost a 14yr old son. I am just hoping that when they get him to Harrogate they will channel his energies in a different direction. At his age he is fearless, we of course no differently. I am still so pleased for him though for passing. His brother has been going through the same thing but to join the Royal Marines Band Service. They failed his medical 6 weeks ago, two reasons. He is under weight by 13 kilos and he is wearing a dental brace!! So basically he has to re apply for Sept 15. How is everyone else doing?

JustAboutCoping2013 · 02/08/2014 21:30

Congratulations to Thomas! After years of denial I think I've finally accepted that my 17yo DS won't change his mind about going into the Army. It is the only career choice that really interests him. I'm very frightened for him! He doesn't like the A-levels he has chosen and has asked for a year or so out of school to decide what he does want to do. Despite going to several college open days, researching various careers, I can see he isn't interested in any of them. He did a week's work experience with the Army a couple of years ago and loved it - that's the most animated I have seen him about a career choice, so that's the way he has to go. I'm trying to be strong, I don't want him to worry about me, I don' think I'm doing a very good job of it at the moment - how do you cope?!

GnomeDePlume · 02/08/2014 22:12

That is great news for your DS triplets (I used to be WorrySighWorrySigh). What will he do between now and start date?

My DS is a year behind. He has had his first interviews and has now moved on. Next step is the two day selection course. In the mean time we are encouraging regular runs and have ordered a powerbag and jerry cans so that DS can practice.

triplets · 03/08/2014 07:27

Thomas will go into 6th form at his present school, he said the physical test was only difficult in a much as they did it all in one go! He found the lifting/jerry can/1.5 mile run easy but he said it was doing the "squats" afterwards that was the hard part! Several of the candidates failed the fitness test and were sent straight home on day one. I thought his weight may have been a problem as like his brother he is over 6ft and a bean pole, weighs 58 kilos but there is no weight restriction. His brother failed his medical for the Marines as they have a weight restriction of 65 kilos and James is only 54! Good luck to your son :)

Davidtennantmistress · 03/08/2014 07:37

My hubs is rlc 19 years in, he's been to and seen some horrendous things/sights and hasn't told me half of it, however, he's also seen the world 10 times over he's travelled to most exotic of countries.

I honestly don't know how mil copes when he's away, I have the children she just worries, anyhow. For me I'd not like my boys to join up, because I'd like them to have a better life, but that said it offers stability and a good career. The military is changing and unfortunately it's not the same army hubs joined 19 years ago. I'll be glad to get out now.

Ultimately though the choice is your sons. I'd support whatever choice mine made, and hubs would talk to them on a man to man level about it all. I'd just fuss. Must say though I'd feel a failure if any of them joined the navy! Lol.

Davidtennantmistress · 03/08/2014 07:40

Deep respect to all you mothers.

Delphiniumsblue · 03/08/2014 07:56

I think the 'don't let him' must be from someone with younger children- in a few months he is an adult and you can't stop him. At least talk to him about it as the adult he almost is. 'Don't let him' will make him even more determined! It is also unfair to pile in the emotional blackmail about the effect in you or to expect him to agree with your moral feelings about it. He is not you.
If he is set on it you have to support. I know what it is like- I have two sons who thought of it but they decided against in the end- decisions that had nothing to do with me.