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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

My 17 year old son wants to join the Army!!!

82 replies

sunflowerja · 15/07/2010 19:42

My son wants to join the army, I'm worried sick.
I've tried for 3 years to try and put him off but I've had to accept that this is what he wants to do.

we have taken him to the recruitment office to start the process off.

Are there any other mums/parents out there who are in the same position as us.

I watch the news and see the fallen soldiers come home in boxes!!! its heartbreaking.

OP posts:

ruby1234 · 03/08/2014 08:06

Just to say, my DS joined the Army at 18 - he's 23 now and loves every second.
He went to Afghanistan for 7 months and I worried the whole time. He won't be going back as the last lot of soldiers are now there.
He has travelled the world and had amazing experiences in lots of places. He earns a very decent amount of money and has learnt a very useful trade.
He is also a member of an Army elite sports team, gets loads of time off for his sport and has travelled abroad just for his sport.
For him, the Army is an excellent career choice.

triplets · 03/08/2014 08:10

It is hard, if Thomas was wanting to join but not a role where he might be "front line" I wouldn`t be so anxious. But it is his life, his decision in he end and it is all he has wanted to do for the last three years. I do hope that Harrogate may encourage him to think of other options beside the Infantry, I have been told they heavily involve us parents too. Obviously I am more anxious as we lost our first son when he was 14, he was our only child at the time, the pain of losing him is with me forever and something I pray I will never have to go through again.

triplets · 03/08/2014 08:12

Hi Ruby we have talked before :) What is your sons role, is he REME?

financialwizard · 03/08/2014 08:18

My Dad was REME. My husband is Infantry. My son wants to join up REME. He is 13 currently, so this will probably change but it is something he had talked about for 2 years and has become more enthusiastic since joining ACF.

triplets · 03/08/2014 08:35

What does your dh do in the Infantry?

ruby1234 · 03/08/2014 12:32

Hello Triplets
My son originally joined REME as a mechanic, did his basic training at Bassingbourne, but changed to the Royal Artillery after a year or so.

Not that he elaborates much on his work (apart from all the sport) but his job now is flying the drones - seems to me like they are flown remotely and tracked on something a bit like an Xbox!

We're not too far from Harrogate - if we go on a weekend we often see the Army lads having a game of footy on the stray!

Davidtennantmistress · 03/08/2014 18:42

The thing is though my hubs without giving too much away (his trade is very specialised and would become identifiable) you wouldn't actually think what he does is front line, however unfortunately for us it is as his lot in essence drop troops in the back doors first as it were. So it can be highly dangerous, but likewise highly rewarding (d day goings on festivals). You can't join or have a family member in the forces and think it's ok they're not front line, the nature that is the army it's evolving so much it can just as easy be front line.

I don't like trips to sunny climes however at the end of the day the men and women who join up deserve our support. As i say it's hard enough to be a wife, god knows to be a mum.

If I may be bold, rlc still has some fantastic trades, including marine engineers, it's not all blanket stackers chefs and post men! Get a good trade now hubs is using the army to his advantage, four years left lots of civi qualifications being done and he's re training to be in the alba lance service. It's worth it for that.

TheFairyCaravan · 03/08/2014 18:52

I spoke to triplets yesterday , my DS1(19) is in Phase 1 training at a Winchester atm. He is joining, all being well, the QRL's. He has wanted this for absolute years.

We said he had to do A levels, which he did and got 3As, but all he wanted was to join the Army. He went fore Junior Soldier because he would have done that had he have gone to uni and not got into Sandhurst. He can still go for his commission as he has the UCAS points.

I am a military wife (RAF) and it is much easier than being a military mum! I have a bit more respect for MIL now. I miss DS1 like mad, he's a great lad and a wonderful friend to me, but he's having the time of his life.

Delphiniumsblue · 03/08/2014 18:57

If parents force children into a career plan of their own it never works- there will be some sort of midlife crisis where they eventually break free of parental wishes and go for their own. It is better if they stand firm in the first place.

Boaty · 03/08/2014 19:00

My DB joined straight after 'O' levels...my DGM was dead against it, tried to dissuade him until DM told her to pack it in!The Irish troubles were still prominent then. He ended up doing 2 tours in Bosnia. Came out at 40.

Mitzi50 · 03/08/2014 19:01

My 16 year old son got so far in the recruitment process for a military 6th form (same recruiting process as army) and was turned down because he had had an asthma pump prescribed. He was extremely disappointed I had to stop myself from dancing a happy jig. A colleague's grandson was turned down because he had eczema.

Just saying that all is not lost - their recruitment process is extremely tight - he may get turned down. fingers crossed

Delphiniumsblue · 03/08/2014 19:02

It is the time to politely, but firmly, tell mother she gets to choose her own career but not anyone else's career. Then ignore.

TheFairyCaravan · 03/08/2014 19:04

Delphinium We had people ask us why we allowed DS1 to join the Army, it never clicks with them that he is a grown man and can do exactly as he wants!

My sister said, a few years ago, that she would not support her DS of he wanted to do it. So I said, am I meant to support DS2 in his chosen career (he wants to be a nurse he can't join the Forces due to his Asthma otherwise he'd be an Army medic), and not DS1. She said yes! .

DS1 has not given us a minutes trouble, I am not about to turn my back on him because he is going to be a soldier.

TheFairyCaravan · 03/08/2014 19:09

Unless the boy who has eczema still has it on his body and uses prescribed creams, he can appeal and it can be over ridden. DS1 had it for a long time but it wasn't active and he has not had any lotions or creams etc for a few years.

On the tick box thing it came up as not suitable because it says "do you have, or have you ever had eczema" and if you answer yes it chucks you out, but you can appeal. DS1 did with a letter from the doctor and they said it was fine. 6 weeks later he got an interview, then selection and less than 3 months after going to selection he was in training.

Delphiniumsblue · 03/08/2014 19:09

I am still reeling from one of the first comments 'Don't let him' ! If my mother had ever said that to me when I was choosing a career at 17 yrs it would have made me determined to go ahead- pointing out that no one was asking her to join the army! I am surprised that even by 17 some parents think they can programme their children into mini them!
I was relieved they didn't go down that route, but of course I would have supported them had it been their wish.

Delphiniumsblue · 03/08/2014 19:12

It is no wonder people have trouble with MILs if they think they can choose careers for their children- or even worse pile on emotional blackmail or expect their children to think the same as them. They need to be adult- discuss- make up their mind- stick to it.

Delphiniumsblue · 03/08/2014 19:15

Sorry- the child needs to make up their mind and not allow their mother make it for them.

GnomeDePlume · 03/08/2014 20:37

triplets, has your DS been a cadet of any sort? Did it help him if he was please?

triplets · 03/08/2014 22:33

Yes he is a cadet.................but not army! He and James have been in the ATC (Air Training Corps) for just over 3 years, done their DOE bronze and silver through them too. They go two nights a week but James does extra as he is also in the band and has recently been made up to corporal! Its been the best thing for them, discipline, keeping their uniforms spick and span, flying and great camps. James is away atm, he`s gone to RAF Brize Norton for a week, having a fab time, weapon handling, shooting today and on Weds they are flying in a Lancaster, he is so excited about that. The strange thing is neither boys are interested in the RAF! Wish my daughter was!!

Mitzi50 · 03/08/2014 22:35

TheFairyCaravan - the standard for appeals is 4 years without a problem. The boy with eczema did have the condition which flared up under stress. My son had had an asthma pump prescribed for hayfever: despite a doctor's confirmation that he did not have asthma, the army medical board have said he must have 4 years without a pump.

My son hoped to go to Welbeck College for A levels and do an engineering degree through the army. I would have supported him (and indeed did support him albeit with a heavy heart with his college application), but am very happy that he was not accepted. I am fairly certain he will join the army eventually (or at least try to), but the delay means that he will be making decisions as an adult and will have a better understanding of the reality of army life.

triplets · 03/08/2014 22:37

James in the ATC Band playing at the Royal Marines Concert in Deal.

My 17 year old son wants to join the Army!!!

triplets · 03/08/2014 22:40

Thomas two years ago at an ATC camp.

TheFairyCaravan · 03/08/2014 23:12

Mitzi I'm not sure if it is 4 years for everything, tbh. I know DS1 had the doctor write a letter but I am not 100% sure she put dates on. Another thing he appealed for was migraines, he doesn't suffer now, but has had prescriptions for those in the past 4 years.

TheFairyCaravan · 03/08/2014 23:14

triplets DH works at the station where the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight is. There is a lot of excitement about the incoming Lancaster as there will be 2 together. He is going to take DS2 over to see it, DS1 is miffed he will be missing it!

GnomeDePlume · 04/08/2014 12:59

Sounds similar here triplets except that it is oldest who isnt interested in the cadets thing. DS is Lance Corp in army cadets. DD2 is just about to be enrolled into ATC - she is also in the band as a trumpeter.

DD2 is really looking forward to getting flying so would be deeply envious of the flight in the Lancaster.

DS off to camp for 10 days at the weekend.

I agree that the whole experience has been great for them both. They both take a lot more pride in their experience than they did. At the start DD2 had said that she wouldnt want to wear a skirt but now she is into the whole uniform isnt uniform unless it's uniform thing so wears her skirt happily.

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