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Tattoos

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Bridesmaid

73 replies

merlotmummy14 · 26/10/2018 17:29

I figured this would be better in tattoos as I know some of mn can be quite judgy towards tattoos whereas I'd get a bit more perspective here if I am being unreasonable. Due to get married in 7 months and my only bridesmaid has gone and got a huge facial tattoo across her forehead in a barely legible hideous gothic font a few days ago. I have a few tattoos that are hidden by my dress and while she has a lot of other visible tattoos and peircings, they are somewhat tasteful. She has one other small facial tattoo that is about doable. Other than the fact she'll never get a job in any customer facing role ever again and she most likely did it to get revenge on her pos dad for something he said, would I be a bridezilla to say I don't want her as a bridesmaid as everybody will remember my wedding as the one with the bridesmaid with the horrible face tattoo. I'm quite upset that she's done this without thinking about me or my partner and our DD or or both our very conservative families who will be at wedding (my super religious gran will most likely have a heart attack). It's supposed to be a lovely summer affair but I feel this will just taint the whole thing. I've been best friends with her for about 5 years but this is by far the most selfish thing she's done. I've let her pick out her own dress without restrictions other than "No red or black" and "please don't have your tits hanging out" and even offered to pay for it. I've been very laid back about the whole wedding but I think this is definitely a straw too far. Am I being unreasonable to tell her I really don't want her as my bridesmaid And how do I go about telling her?

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 26/10/2018 19:02

I'm afraid that the tattoo is exactly what it says it is. A ruiner

BonnieF · 26/10/2018 19:02

Her tattoo will be the first thing everybody notices about your wedding photos. If you’re fine with that, go ahead with her as bridesmaid.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 26/10/2018 19:19

Is she a Drake fan? 🤣

Bridesmaid
merlotmummy14 · 26/10/2018 19:28

Anytime I ask her how's she's doing, she goes on and on about how she's finally in a good place surrounded by positive people and she's so glad to be away from the negativity of her exes. What am I supposed to do, mother her? If she says she's happy I can't exactly drag her to a therapist. She said she's been wanting the tattoo for ages (never mentioned it to anybody) and when she saw me being unsure of it she told me off for not being supportive and "killing her vibes".

OP posts:
M0gg · 26/10/2018 19:29

Doesn't sound like she'll take it well then if you ask her to cover it up for the wedding.

shallichangemyname · 26/10/2018 19:48

What TheCraicDealer said. There is a tactful way of putting it. You have a while to go. Wait a couple of months then mention it....

Angelf1sh · 26/10/2018 20:40

Well it’s your wedding so you can do what you like really, but I think it’s pretty hypocritical of you to call your friend selfish for doing something to her own body without considering what impact it might have on you!

If it were my friend, I’d be less concerned about my wedding and more concerned about my friend and her mental health as it’s a very odd thing to do to get back at someone.

FortyFeet · 26/10/2018 20:55

#thathappened

greendale17 · 26/10/2018 20:59

its not just a change in appearance, though, is it? A huge facial tattoo? Talk about making it All About Her.

^This. What moron gets a face tattoo anyway. Trust me when I say that she will be the talk of your wedding. And yes everyone will judge.

Gardai · 26/10/2018 21:35

What does "ruiner" mean in your part of the world ?
Don't use that term or I've not heard of it

Gardai · 26/10/2018 21:37

Was it shorter than "destroyer" ? For example

Unicornandbows · 26/10/2018 21:45

Yabu to expect her to have thought about you with what she does with her body.

Solution : dont make her your bridesmaid anymore. Demote her.

Do not get her to cover it up as it might actually be offensive to her and sort of rude to ask and she may not take it well.

Ginger1982 · 26/10/2018 22:08

Anyone who says this wouldn't bother them I don't think is being truthful. This would have been a big thing if my friend did this before my wedding. Yes I'd be concerned about her but I also wouldn't want her tattoo in my photos. Ask her if she would be prepared to cover it. If she refuses then consider whether she's your true friend. Surely it goes both ways.

Samcro · 27/10/2018 00:13

i think the bridesmaid needs to get a new Tatt saying this didn't happen.

FortniteIsTheNewCrack · 27/10/2018 09:39

Gosh, this is literally unbelievable. In case anyone has a similar problem  Kat Von D does an amazing cover up camouflage cream. I don't agree with asking people to cover up their tattoos, but I know people that use it for job interviews etc.

FortniteIsTheNewCrack · 27/10/2018 09:40

where are my emojis? There should be a wink after "similar problem"



merlotmummy14 · 27/10/2018 10:31

I don't think I would have even been bothered if she'd changed her hair drastically before the wedding, it's just so distasteful what's she done. I agree she probably would find it offensive if I asked her to cover it but what does she think I'm going to do? That I should just let her take centre stage at the wedding and make it all about how unique she is? I probably am being incredibly selfish saying she should have thought about the wedding and my family before she did it but is she not being selfish to make sure for the rest of her life, everywhere she goes, the attention will always be about her? She could have got it anywhere else on her body and I would have just rolled my eyes. The groomsmen are all mad at her too for doing something so bizarre and drastic and master of ceremonies (my brother) says it will be the huge elephant in the room the entire wedding and my mum thinks I should just get my cousin to replace her. I totally get that people think it didn't happen because it seems unreal to me tbh and something you read about on reddit.

OP posts:
Angelf1sh · 27/10/2018 12:23

Well replace her then and stop going on about it.

JustABrokenDoll · 27/10/2018 14:17

It could be worse.

Cover up make-up would probably do the trick - I doubt anyone is going to be looking at how much make up she's got on her forehead.

If the dress will go with it, maybe one of those floral headdresses that cover part of the forehead will help.

Other than that you just have to suck it up or tell her straight that you don't want her as a bridesmaid.

ApolloandDaphne · 27/10/2018 14:28

It's not just the tattoo on her face, it is what it says. The word 'ruiner' staring out from your wedding pictures is hardly appropriate. She sounds like she is not in a good place but at the same time surely she could have thought about doing this after your wedding? I think i would be inclined to tell her she either finds a way to cover it up or she cannot be your bridesmaid anymore.

anitagreen · 27/10/2018 14:30

Dermacol makeup is your friend here. £7 a tube it's used in theatre etc it's very very thick and covers everything

GreenGiants · 27/10/2018 15:20

It's not really "selfish" though. She can't put her life and wishes on hold because she's your bridesmaid?

I agree though, it'll be hideous

cricketmum84 · 27/10/2018 15:22

There is some really good cover up makeup on the market these days.

I would say she either covers it fully or isn't bridesmaid.

What a stupid thing to do to herself in an act of petty revenge!

nksw · 27/10/2018 15:32

Hideous and I wouldn't want a tattoo like that in my photos. And I probably wouldn't have her as a bridesmaid as a result.

However seems unfair to make this all about you and your big day. She sounds like she's really struggling. If you were a true friend you'd want to 'mother her' if you thought she was in a bad place.

CupoBlood · 27/10/2018 15:35

Just tell her she's killing your vibe and your not changing your wedding for anyone

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