A few questions

[TheTempest]

Hi everyone, we are a hetero couple who have 1 child already. I had a hysterectomy after DD was born. We would really like another. I am so confused about how surrogacy works though! A few questions if you wouldn't mind...

1. It's a lot of money to join SUK. What do you do there? Is it worth it?
2. How much roughly does it cost, I. Expenses etc?
3. Is there a blog/website/ book that has a timeline, what to expect, legalities information?
4. Has anyone else noticed that it's very vague information around money the law etc with regards to surrogacy? If not, am I looking in the wrong places?!

Thanks so much if anyone can help!

Hi TheTempest, I would also like to know the answers to your questions for myself too. Good luck to you and your partner.

We (DH and I) are considering surrogacy after failed IVF and two miscarriages (also via IVF) as I can't conceive naturally.

But the field of UK surrogacy sounds confusing with no exact info and from brief research seems like it may be out of our price range, with the potential for hidden extra costs.

Would really love to hear other people's experiences of surrogacy in the UK. Thanks

Do you still have ovaries/eggs?

You can only pay expenses under uk law. There is no commercial surrogacy. Also the surrogate has the same rights as any birth mother until after the birth and after she signs away her rights. So you have to be prepared for the possibility that she could change her mind at any time and you would have no legal come back.

Also consider things like what if a problem was found st a scan/amino. Would you be prepared for a disabled child if she chose not to have a termination?

What if there were problems during the birth and she refused interventions/a c section?

It's an absolute minefield tbh. If it's not even your egg I don't see why it's a preferable option over straight adoption.

I know this post is a few months old now but I forget to check this surrogacy board! I will try answering your questions...

1. Suk and cots are the two most known about agencies, cots match surrogates and IPs , whereas suk it's more informal with social meets and gatherings where you can meet fiends and potentially a surrogate. Both have fees and cots often have to close their books to new intended parents when there are far more IPs than surrogates. Whether you feel either is worth it is personal opinion. As a surrogate I felt they offered no more support than if I had gone independent- you will find a lot of surrogates have gone through agency first time and then turned independent, purely because they can't see the sense in IPs paying out more money than is necessary for little in return.
2. Costs vary depending on whether you are looking at straight/ traditional surrogacy or host/ gestational, obviously host can work out far more costly as you add in Ivf which might or might not work first time. Traditional is the cheapest option because you are using the surrogates own egg so no need for a clinic and all the fees that go with that. Expenses range from 10-18k and will vary wildly between surrogates and their personal situation, you should have a contingency in case things go wrong too so a good figure to go from would be about 20k to be on the safe side. The PO after the baby is born costs about £200 and gives the IPs full parental rights.
3. No but join a Facebook surrogacy group for more info and advice" uk surrogacy the foyer" is a agate way group into other groups.

Hope that helps in some way