Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Surrogacy

Join to connect with others in similar situations and discuss legal processes, costs, well-being, and types of surrogacy.

Original poster

Need some advice!!

14 replies

Howlands278 · 23/05/2014 21:59

Me and my civil partner jason ( I'm Keenan) want to start a family of our own! We did join the message board site to surrogacy uk and went to one of their open days but was very disappointed with the outcome as we felt very isolated as we were the only couple there with no child and the people weren't very welcoming and helpful! Since then we have been very wary of we're to go?? I have tried to check out COTS but can't seem to find many reviews on the site/ company?? I know this site seems to be more for hetrosexual couples but need some help or advice??

OP posts:
Beepbeepnow · 24/05/2014 20:07

Hi, agencies are a matter of opinion. Some people like the way they work, some people don't. I don't know much about cots or suk as we met and matched independently. I do know people who have matched through both agencies though. There are facebook groups which can be joined and my advice is to chat to lots, research a lot and hopefully find your way to a match.

SaltyGoodness · 27/05/2014 21:17

Keenan those open days are fully weird, don't worry too much about them. Many surrogates prefer to give a child to a childless couple rather than a couple who 'already' has a child'. And many surrogates are keen to pick a gay couple, you are a desirable commodity! Less infertility backstory drama to deal with ;-)

Cots were great for us, matched us with three amazing surrogates over several years, and it just didn't work because of medical stuff, nothing to do with personalities or how it was run. I would still recommend them.

SUK (surrogacy UK - the acronyms are fucking confusing) seemed a bit smaller and more upmarket. We didn't get as far with them but they seemed really nice.

Basically I think COTS are bigger and better at finding you a match. SUK expect you to do more of the running at gettogthers where you have to mingle and find someone yourself, but they did seem to have more middle class (for want of a better word) surrogates who were comfortable with that approach.

Our experience is a few years old now (we ended up going with CSP in America for various reasons) so this may have changed...

Good luck :)

Beepbeepnow · 28/05/2014 14:32

We went indi as when we looked into cots etc there books were closed. If you do go with an agency it is worth asking how many surrogates do they have looking for ips before y pay the fee. I advocate indi all the way, but also appreciate that some people prefer the back up of agency.

smellyfishead · 29/05/2014 20:30

tbh, I cannot recommend cots. after the bfp me and my IPs had no contact from them for 4 months until I sent a shirty email to them. They have behaved pretty badly in quite a few situations and my view of them now is very dim. If I do this again, I will be doing it independently as I cannot see the benefit of an agency where Ips pay subs which cover supporting the surrogate, for the agency to then pocket that and provide no support/contactHmm

KeeperOfBees · 20/07/2014 19:30

smellyfishhead I have had the same experience with BSC. I am now matched with a couple independently. I refused to use an agency. What do they do all day?

commins · 11/08/2014 16:55

Hello I really need advise. My partner and I don't know where to turn.
I contacted the fertility clinic about having my eggs taken and froze and my partner sperm froze. They said my BMI needs to be 29 and is currently 34, so I joined a slimming club. I want to find a surrogate but don't know where to start, where to look. Please help x

commins · 11/08/2014 16:57

Hello I really need advise. My partner and I don't know where to turn.
I contacted the fertility clinic about having my eggs taken and froze and my partner sperm froze. They said my BMI needs to be 29 and is currently 34, so I joined a slimming club. I want to find a surrogate but don't know where to start, where to look. Please help x

mommy217 · 31/07/2017 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mommy217 · 31/07/2017 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

bella5487 · 17/11/2017 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

landaa · 12/03/2018 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lokie96 · 18/03/2018 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MISSYMERRIE · 18/04/2018 17:47

Well, the surrogacy success rate for LGBT couples pretty high and they do tend to make a happy family. I have known a couple who had their twin babies via surrogacy. And the egg donor and the surrogate are still involved in the lives of the twins. The couples pursued it via clinic. And they found the perfect match for them. She then she carried the baby to the term. So, the experiences may vary from couple to couple and situations. The couple I know had a very smooth surrogacy journey.They are proud parents. Researching and visiting few clinics will allow you to know the pros and cons of every clinic. This will make you choose right place according to your preferences. Good luck

MrsRogerson007 · 08/05/2018 15:57

Hi everyone. I’m trying to find as many threads as possible for advice. I’m trying to find a indi surrogate but have no idea where to find them. Anyone used one before and how did they find it xxx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page