I have been to Paris with my GBF and can confirm that BonsoirAnna is right about EVERYTHING

[morningpaper]

The women - gasp - they are all so chic and beautiful.

They just wear gray dresses with tiny belts and high heels and are all thin and smoking. Their hair is ALL PERFECT.

And the MEN!!!!

dearie me

GBF practically had to be physically restrained, particularly after an unexpected burst of rain when suddenly we appeared to be surrounded by a city of Colin Firths just emerging from the lake.

Honestly, Parisiens look like they are about to have sex ANY MINUTE and this talking-in-cafes is just really an interuption in their constant lives which are full of serious shagging.

Occasionally we would see an ugly person but they would be british tourists.

The only consolation was that there wasn't much laughing. British people ARE funny.

So my conclusion is that BonsoirAnna is probably right about everything.

I felt like a Cornish pasty with earrings.

Well, they do actually do the weighing/measuring thing (plus eye tests etc) for children in the first year of primary school here, and send the results home. No assembly at school here.

French men go in for constructive cristicism of clothing as well as size, all part of the sex education regime -

When I was young and in my first job in France, a visiting friend of boss walked in to my office, looked me up and down (boss had obviously been talking about his new recruit), winked and said something like "yes, not bad, but that jacket isn't right on her".

And instead of an indignant "WHO do you think you are talking about me like I'm not here?" that I might have retorted in the UK, I just blushed (he was HANDSOME), never wore that jacket again...

My french tutor (Parisienne mid-20s,very slim & chic) asked me (none of those things)what I thought the characteristics of the French were... so I started with "stylish", she went with "fat and badly-dressed" for the British, so I raised her an "unfriendly", she hit back with "eat awful food", I parried with "unhelpful", she capitulated with "funny and amusing, and much more friendly than the French"...then my french ran out.

Anyway, we both pretty much agreed with each others gross generalisations. She was at pains to point out that French people are on the whole unhelpful and unfriendly to each other too and it wasn't just because I was British.

She saw London as THE pinnacle of style and fashion by the way.

Yes, and DP was just itching to gossip about what everyone else was wearing and how well they were aging after Saturday night's party. Men and women.

Oh dear MP. I think you are just going to have to move You've got it bad.

I would like to say I have been in numerous Parisienne toilets and they have all been entirely acceptable....I think that is one stereotype which is no longer true. Apart from those revolting hole in the ground ones at the more basic motorway stopping places.

you know, i think i would take nice toilets and sense of humour over swanning around in grey dresses scowling and looking thin actually
i like the sound of hordes of sexy men prowling the streets and being all intense on the metro but am sure it would get tiring after a while

best toilet I've ever been to in Paris was on a boat

campsite loos are place of wonderment and luxury compared to uk.

lightbulb moment that explains DP!
He has no qualms whatsoever about commenting on my weight (I do give as good as I get though). He doesn't see how it's rude as his mother does the same.
It is, erm, different, and I suppose it is motivating. Much better than my DM who whinges constantly about putting on weight, and then went on a "diet" which consisted of not having milk in her tea (but still having cake at least once a day, chocolate, sweets, crisps etc.).

There are billions of French people in London though. They're all here for jobs in finance. I met three people recently called Jonathan from Paris, all working in finance.

I can't comment on the dog poo though - never seen it. Will look out for it when I'm next there.

Oh, and there's this new diet in France that everyone's on by some doctor person. I registered, and they ask about your current weight, highest ever weight, lowest adult weight etc., and then tell you what you should weigh. Mine was 10kgs below my current weight (which is well within the healthy range). I have never been so tempted to punch a computer before.

abs did teh computer shrug and pull a little moue?

I do like the way the men LOOK but they do lack that manly-Britishness

There is something quite appealing over a hairy chap who will drag you back to his cave rather than a tall chic gentleman who comments on the unsuitability of your jacket

I do quite like Ray Winstone

BUT it is fun feeling like you are on some sort of film set where EVERYONE is about to have fantastic sex and a nice steak

It did Bariatric

STOP RIGHT THERE EVERYONE:

The only thing I do not like about the british is their infatuation with Bl##dy Paris!

I think Parisian women all look like they try too hard (including Bruni)

The men are weedy and don´t wash and grope you if they can (esp. in metro)

If you fall over, they will step over you and curse you. In ENgland someone will say: "Are you allright love?!" and help you up.

They all smoke (yuk)

All women are insecure, because

All men are unfaithful

All waiters will try to rip you off, not bring change and are snooty

The weather is just as bad as in London

And WHY WHY WHY do British people like this? It must be a masochistic tendency.

Give me London any time.

A Eurpean Lady

actually, is the thought of everyone in gray really all that appealing? with their perfume poured on to overome the powerful smell of smoke?

(Chanel no5 is, i expect, especially formulatd as an anti-odour for Gitanes blondes)

My MIl is going to paris this weekend - i am having an inward giggle at her being the pasty amongst the smoke-clad sylphs of Paris (she is Dutch, and will no doubt wear shorts if it is any warmer than 18 degrees).

"It must be a masochistic tendency"

It's an inbuilt Puritanism. We have to feel inferior or life would get too dull. An overwhelming sense of feeling sneakingly inferior to the French is where the British Empire came from!

AbsofCroissant - the computer in Boots can be pretty mean too! I'm 1.6 m and around 50 kg (in fact rather less at the moment, having just had the vile vom virus) but that by computer has in the past suggested 47 as my ideal.

LOL morningpaper, you are giving me insights into why I find my DP just quite so drop dead gorgeous. He is a Neanderthal packaged as a Parisian!

And totally agree with Chandon re the weedy men. Just where do these Pemberley wet T shirt competition types hide whenever I go to Paris? - they all look more like Sarko to me.

I have this image of Bonsoir being a blonde version of Kirstin Scott-Thomas's character Fee in Four Weddings.

Not quite sure who I picture BA as. Suspect she is one of a kind!

All Parisians are about to have sex.

If you spot anyone is Paris wearing white shoe/trainers, they are an American tourist. Guaranteed.