I have been to Paris with my GBF and can confirm that BonsoirAnna is right about EVERYTHING

[morningpaper]

The women - gasp - they are all so chic and beautiful.

They just wear gray dresses with tiny belts and high heels and are all thin and smoking. Their hair is ALL PERFECT.

And the MEN!!!!

dearie me

GBF practically had to be physically restrained, particularly after an unexpected burst of rain when suddenly we appeared to be surrounded by a city of Colin Firths just emerging from the lake.

Honestly, Parisiens look like they are about to have sex ANY MINUTE and this talking-in-cafes is just really an interuption in their constant lives which are full of serious shagging.

Occasionally we would see an ugly person but they would be british tourists.

The only consolation was that there wasn't much laughing. British people ARE funny.

So my conclusion is that BonsoirAnna is probably right about everything.

I felt like a Cornish pasty with earrings.

lol @ cat

i wish a few more of my friends would say 'lose it fatty' rather than 'no no you don't need to lose weight'

lolol

@ 'I felt like a Cornish pasty with earrings' haha

'Ah Paris...

I had the most INTENSELY sensual (fully-clothed) experience of my life on the Metro.'

ooh squeaver, do go on

can't imagine anything sensual happening on the tube...unless you happen to be turned on by sweaty armpits, confused tourists and the whiff of fast food

I wanna know what Anna looks like, I have an image. It make sme quake

Blonde (with a bit of grey), with pale skin and blue eyes. And I am not remotely like Audrey Hepburn .

Aw, I have to go back to the drawing borad for my mental image of you then... ZZZen won that bet

I think I might be a bit in love with Anna

Basically the english are just bloody animals

Even the bollards looked phallic - I said to my chum: 'If those were in England we'd have to remove fat men from them every Sunday morning after they'd tried to shag themselves after drinking 30 pints of beer and throwing up'

Chum says that Parisiens do not need to shag bollards because they are actually shagging each other

@ 'I felt like a Cornish pasty with earrings'

this would probably make you irresistably attractive to a certain kind of male (my husband) though, without the earrings...

a former Parisienne housemate used to tell me how her Mum told her to lose weight when she became an English size 10....

though in a way certain bits of England are like that - i always feel lardy when i go to Brighton (the non-touristy bits) and did even when i was size 12...lifestyle, wake up, drink tea...feel snackish by lunch...more tea...afternoon tea, then a small dinner (followed by tea.) when clubbing spend at least half your time dancing, which saves both money and calories consumed from the bar...repeat...ultimately however milky you have your tea, you can't sneak that much fat into it.

"Basically the english are just bloody animals"

Yeah cheers MP

Still struggling to see universal smoking as a good thing TBH.

it is true. other countries have potted plants and stuff that isn't nailed down decorating their municipal areas. here they would nick the lines painted on teh road if they could

You see, the thing is, I am blonde with a bit of grey, pale skin and blue eyes. But I look fairly similar to MP's vision of a Cornish pasty. I bet Anna doesn't...

Maybe if I didn't eat so many of the buggers

Yes we are thugs

We steal stuff and throw up and knock over tables and grow pot bellies

Why can't we be NICER?

I think it's because we aren't actually having any sex

Smoking isn't really that common here these days, apart from on the terrasses of cafés. It is strictly forbidden to smoke indoors in public places.

DP now only smokes (cigars) in the car, on his own. His consumption has gone down hugely, with no effort on his part.

Well MP if you are doing things like that I suggest you stop it

I don't.

Well not often.

Honestly, cat, even 20 years on I come over all peculiar just thinking about it...

It was a whole eyes meeting, nothing said (but everything said, iykwim), cheeks flushed, heart racing 20 minutes. And we were actually squashed together at one point. We parted on the escalator. Even now I wish I'd run back down to him.

squeaver - are you sure you didn't just have some food on yoru cheek or something?

plenty of flowers on display round these parts (especially as Worthing competes in 'towns/cities in bloom' every year) in public places. And French public toilets......

Don't bear a mention.

are they in concrete bunkers or little pots?

DON'T KILL MY DREAM, BO!!!

snigger!

"The men walk as though the efforts of heaving their massive cocks around was rather tiresome"

LOL!!

French toilets or worthings wide range of flower baskets BO??

snort

a little bit ofme died everytime dd had to do an emergency wee in france, even in the poshest cafes it was like the third world

Hmm so we have (1) sense of humour and (2) nice toilets which are on our side

BUT we do look like naked-molerats that have been subject to obesity experiments and we never have sex

swings/roundabouts