Surgical issues..aka..a little enhancement

[marthastewart]

Would you? And what would you have done if so?

Have an open mind about lifting/tucking/botoxing and am wondering if this is the normal view at this stage.

Don't mean the frozen bat/stretched face look but just a little enhancement...

DeliciousDevilWoman ~ The surgeon I used was Mr Brent Tanner and the surgery was performed at The Spire Hospital, Tunbridge Wells. It's only about a 25 minute drive away from here when the roads are clear.

It sounds like you're doing the same thing I did. I have two older sons (16 and 13) and 3 year old. I went to see Mr Tanner before having DS3 and then had the surgery when DS3 was a year old.

Very happy with my stomach now. It really was an awful mess and I was actually turned down by a surgeon on Harley Street as he felt it was too big a job. I went to see my GP after the Harley St shunning who recommended Mr Tanner. I had a look at his website and saw that he had all the relevent letters after his name that we're always told to look out for and made an appointment. He was friendly and funny (A little like Christopher Biggins) and I immediately felt at ease with him and his nurses.

I think one way of giving yourself a lift without facial surgery is to have teeth whitening and straightening done if you are bothered by current smile status!

It's less invasive although still quite expensive. I've had this done and while it was a trial to wear the braces it is worth it in the long run.

Also I don't really feel it's fair to portray women who choose to have surgery as being in some way shallow or without self esteem.

Everybody should be able to tackle issues they are unhappy with and which can't be fixed by diet and lifestyle alone.

Not a fan of lipo on very young teens as per USA - a bit premature and maybe lazy too?

Amandoh-Thanks.I am really pleased you got a good outcome. I have started a surgery fund for this procedure as I am aware that only the very worst cases would be treated on the NHS and there would be a long waiting list, I will still go to my GP, methinks.

My twin sons are 21 now and I have had 2 miscarriages in the last 3 years since being with my husband. My next attempt to get pregnant and for it to be viable,will be my last. If it does or doesn't happen I will get the tummy tuck. My stomach is the single part of my body that I hate. I was 19 years old when I gave birth the first time around, and snapped back to a size 10 within days, but my stomach was ruined. Totally. No creams, excercises etc could improve it.

I suppose I didn't go down the surgery route as it always seemed like a pipe dream. I was a young parent, couldn't afford it, and then I was a student for 4 years before carving out my career. Other things took priority but I have always hated it. I have long been in a position to afford it, but over the last 3.5 years have met,married and tried for a baby twice with my H.

I suppose I feel excited to know that there is an option-that I don't have to accept the cards life has thrown and camoflage my stomach at every opportunity.

Sorry, that's turned into a diatribe!

Oh ddw really do hope your attempt to have another baby works out for you!

Good for you for changing the things you are not happy with - I think it is a much more positive approach than being a martyr.

Thanks deliciousdevilwoman...twins will do it to you...and you have lived with it for ages now. My mum has inherited some money and offered to pay for mine, so I don't have to worry about the money side of it. But I am afraid of the risks...just for the sake of feeling beautiful. I found a good surgeon that my GP recommended, she had used him for addominoplasty following a messed up c-section scar. He is good, head of the burns unit at Stoke Mandeville near hear in Oxfordshire/Buckinghamshire...he does free consultations too. Let me know if you'd want to travel this far and I will give you his details.

8oreighty-Thank you. I may just come back to you on that. And how lovely is your mother?! Accept her gift. Of course there are risks-it's a major operation, but you have to weigh them up. You are healthy, have done your research, have a surgeon recommended from personal experience and the funds to pay. Now, that doesn't mean you should unduly rush in, but in your shoes I wouldn't proscrastinate too long. I try not to wish my life away, but on some levels I wish I'd had the opportunity to have the procedure in my twenties/early thirties when I could have better embraced the body confidence aspect. Of course, I could still get pleasure from wearing a bikini,nice undies-whatever, having it done at my age now, but moreso as a younger woman, methinks.

Martha-thank you for your good wishes on the baby front.

8oreighty-Thank you. I may just come back to you on that. And how lovely is your mother?! Accept her gift. Of course there are risks-it's a major operation, but you have to weigh them up. You are healthy, have done your research, have a surgeon recommended from personal experience and the funds to pay. Now, that doesn't mean you should unduly rush in, but in your shoes I wouldn't proscrastinate too long. I try not to wish my life away, but on some levels I wish I'd had the opportunity to have the procedure in my twenties/early thirties when I could have better embraced the body confidence aspect. Of course, I could still get pleasure from wearing a bikini,nice undies-whatever, having it done at my age now, but moreso as a younger woman, methinks.

Martha-thank you for your good wishes on the baby front.

I am 38 now...so not so young, but still. THing is I can't decide for absolute certain that I don't want any more children...we had to have IVF and haven't used anything...had one miscarriage about 3 years ago, but that's it. Also have 2 frozen embryos. I don't actually really want any more dcs but then again, I don't know how to rule it out. Not being very decisive about this one!

also mum not really so lovely, is kind of guilt money, so don't feel that happy taking it. But we couldn't afford it at the moment.

Sorry 8oreighty-I made a sweeping comment about your mum, what I should have said was it's a lovely gesture (although perhaps you'd disagree!)I can see where you feel torn re the guilt money aspect of the gift. Maybe this is how she is trying to make reparation. Only you know whether there has been a sufficient enough reapproachment between you to accept it.

Re the tummy tuck-you need to certain that you don't want more kids, or if you think you do, within what timescale. I think that there is nothing wrong with putting that money away (should you accept it) and making a decision further along the line, when your clearer.

For me, I know (insofar as I can) that this will be my 3rd and final attempt to have a child with my H. I can't keep putting myself through the pain of m/c and surgery (I have had ERPC surgery on both occasions) plus a history of gynaey problems and related surgery over the last few years. Then there is the age factor. I will be 41 in May. H is 50-although he doesn't look it and is as fit as a fiddle (puts me to shame!). I wouldn't want to be too old.

I had one m/c and it was so awful, I can't imagine what you are going through. Hope that this time you are lucky.

I do kind of envy women that know for sure that they don't want any more children. I always think it would be quite nice...but don't think I would go to the lengths of putting embryos in.

Sending you good luck thoughts! You sound very positive...

if you're miserable with something - saggy belly, saggy boobs, big noses, then get them fixed. It's not about conforming, it's about being happy with yourself. Afterall, we're not all dealt with the same card lookswise.

Ok, my boobs are a bit round, but I look so much better than I did before. I'm not happier, but I'm not selfconscious anymore. Same with my nose, it's not wonderful, but it's not the hooter it was. I was called names the whole time I was at school, now I don't even think about it.

Yes, women may have breast cancer, but you not having surgery isn't going to make them better.

Have you seen Sadie Frost's stomach ? she's always being snapped in a bikini with perfectly ironed flat stomach..after 4 kids ? I think not. If it's good enough for her...

Yeah, because Sadie Frost should be held up an as example to us all

Both my babies were quite big and with the first i had polyhydramnius (sp?) which meant i carried alot of excess amniotic fluid and was induced early. I lost 28lb at the birth which was including a 9lb baby so it just says how much fluid i had.

This left me with a huge apron, or loose area of skin with i can lay on a surface! Its not just a tiny wobbly bit, its an excess of skin that 4 years later and a size 12 body is not obviously going anywhere!

With my last baby i did get large but no-where like the first time, my extra belly didn't fill out completely until i was 37 weeks pregnant!

The skin hangs down so low to my pubic bone. I have a hernia due to the fact my tummy muscles are seperated, so all is due to be fixed as i am definate we are having no more children.

I am very scared and nervous but day to day it makes me miserable and not only that it physically hurts in clothing as it has to fold to be 'tucked away'.
My hernia causes pain daily so the quicker i am on that tabke the better in my eyes and all my families.

I would never ever have anything done. My tummy is a saggy load of wrinkles after two kids and a large weight loss but if the rest of me looks good and I dress to cover it tis no big deal. I would never have anything done to my face - I have never seen someone have something done to their face (full face lift, eye lift etc) who didn't look like a different person afterwards and I find that weird. Botox is poison and I would never put that into my body unless I needed to for medical reasons. I try and keep myself looking good through exercise and diet and that is the best I can do. I would rather learn to love the way I look rather than go under the knife and put myself at risk.

kkey21 yes it is the same for me, the 'tucking it away' that I find upsetting. It's not just a wrinkly tummy but like this strange flap, and it doesn't feel like me. I am in good shape otherwise and it seems so unfair to have to hide it away. Also I have a small waist, so normally would be able to wear things that show it, but with this sort of second tummy stuck on the front I end up dressing completely differently than I would normally. I do understand though the feeling that you should accept yourself for what you are, andn what you've been through. It's just that even now, the kids are 41/2 I can't accept it. I don't want anyone to see it, it prevents me from doing anything where I have to get changed in front of anyone etc. WHich makes me think it's ok to get it fixed.

"WHich makes me think it's ok to get it fixed"...

Of course it's ok to get it fixed. It's your body and you that's being affected by this "flap" and you don't have to justify wanting to get rid of it or anything else you want to do to your body.

I had that same flap due to problems after the birth of DS1 and then weight loss and it can't be exercised away. I know exactly what you mean about having to dress to hide it and your clothes choice being limited.

Some people really don't care and that's great but some of us feel really miserable with the changes that time/babies/weight loss have made to our bodies and want to change things. Each to their own.

I'm very pleased with my stomach now and I no longer try to avoid seeing it in the mirror. Clothes buying is a pleasure now and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner as it made me miserable on a day to day basis.

I saw your photos, you are super glam aren't you? Hard to believe you had some awful stomach. Yes I think it's ok...I just still have reservations about it and worry about the risks. As soon as I decide for sure that we aren't having any more babies I will do it.

8oreighty, of course it's ok to get it fixerd ! You'll probably have it done, then feel fab & wish you'd done it earlier.

and then get pregnant, har har.

Oh, my stomach was so awful! I mean really really bad! It's embarrassing to admit this now but there were times when I felt suicidal because of it. It was stopping me from having a life, especially in the Summer.

This year is the first year since I was 19 that I've been swimming! I had my stomach fixed in 2007 and then my boobs the following year and now that I'm beginning to get used to looking "normal" I'm starting to do more. Like I said, I wish I'd done it sooner.

ok question for you girls with "experience"......

I am 28 and I have quite deep lines under my eyes - sort of like bags only they are not loose, baggy, droopy - just deep indents really.

Any idea how I could get them sorted? I pile make up on the at the moment but they are still visable.

Hey there SHeart

From my scant knowledge - perhaps filler might be the answee, am sure somebody more knowledgable may be able to add more?

It's great to hear all the happy results and the benefits afterwards!

Well never say never and all that .

15 years ago I thought I would never want to nor need to contemplate going under the knife. Now, however, the thought of having a tummy tuck and a teeny bit of filling is not completely out of the question any more.

sweetheart, are you a smoker ? just wondering if they are caused by that. I think some things are hereditary.

I've no idea about filler, but would have thought 28 was a bit young ? I think dark shadows are caused by blood pooling & I think pile cream is supposed to work.

Otherwise more sleep ? Sorry not much help..