Surgical issues..aka..a little enhancement

[marthastewart]

Would you? And what would you have done if so?

Have an open mind about lifting/tucking/botoxing and am wondering if this is the normal view at this stage.

Don't mean the frozen bat/stretched face look but just a little enhancement...

I'd be scared something would go terribly wrong - even though i know that is not likely with a good surgeon.

Going 'under the knife' is a risk worth taking for 'required' medical surgery (or even reconstructive surgery after an accident or cancer), but perhaps foolish for a completely voluntary cosmetic procedure?

As a single Mum, I don't think i could take that chance - much as I would love to 'tweak' a few things.

I've had by boobs done from deflated sacks to a DD, they don't look massive though as im 5ft 11".
I've not had botox for the last year as i've been skint, but am going to get some after christmas, going for forehead and crows feet, it makes you look fresher and lifts your eyes slightly.

Thank you for that Amandoh.. oddly enough the surgeon I'm considering works at the same place

I would love some botox in my forehead and am dreading what state my boobs will be in when I stop bf.

Think will get teeth whitened and some botox in the next couple of years.

I would do anything for a tummy tuck and some lypo on my thighs and bum..... costs far to much though so never going to happen.

no, I had implants & went from a AA to a C. And under the muscle. Agony. I couldn't bear to move or be moved after the hospital painkillers wore off. I was fine after about 4 days though iirc.

I think they are too big for my frame, so ideally have them removed & replaced with smaller implants.

Oh yes, had my teeth whitened too, but they become so sensitive, I've never managed to do more than a few nights wearing the shield & bleach!

oh yes also had 2 sets of lipo to remove some fat pouches (goodness, you'd think I was ugly/fat!)

Had lipo in 2 separate areas, back of the thighs was the best, I think a small amount of fat was taken out (size of a yogurt pot ?) & there was very little pain, just an ache really.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm only 25 but I figure that the things that bother me now are only going to get worse. I don't take it lightly though...I worry that I would be indulging my vanity and could I go back to my job next year with new breasts, knowing that three women I work with wear a prosthetic breast after having lost one each to cancer? They live with their bodies so why don't I?

Top of my list would be a breast implants.
I'm petite - 5'2, small and narrow framed, 6/8 - and my breasts are a B cup. Well, one is large B and the other is a small B - so the size difference and the fact that I think they are 'snoopy' looking makes me want to get them up to a C. DP says "there's nothing wrong with them," and I asked a friend after a girlie holiday (with topless sunbathing) if she thought they were differently sized and she said 'no' (she would though!) but I would like them to be good. As it is, I feel really quite uncomfortable with them and I would be entirely happy with my body if they were 'fixed'.
I suppose I'm afraid of them looking very false - I know 'teardrop' implants exist though? - and I don't like the idea of having to have them replaced every, what? 5 - 10 years? I also think, when I'm a much older lady, such young, pert and round breasts would look so strange so I'd have them taken out (more surgery) and be left with terrible little sacks! It seems like choosing to have surgery starts a cycle of having to 'maintain' it over your life.

The other thing I think I will have is fillers. Obviously not for many years but the lines from my nose to mouth will be a problem area for me, I can see.

I'd have my nose refined and lips plumped too, if I would allow myself to go all-out, but you have to draw a line somewhere. Everybody think I'm nuts when I talk about nose jobs and fillers so I'll put that down to me overanalysing my flaws!

I am seeing/hearing about more and more people having surgery, even if this relatively small town.

TBH, I'd have to be very unhappy indeed with my body to consider paying to have it mutilated for cosmetic reasons.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not gorgeous. I'm not perfect. I'm not 100% happy, but I'm not so unhappy that I feel that £10k and a spell under the knife will fix my problems.

25, teeny, tiny with b cup breasts. You sound like you are perfectly in proportion to me. Talk about brainwashed by the media

I think i will have a tummy tuck as i have a hideous apron after 2 c/s despite being my pre-pregnancy weight again.

Am currently ttc no. 3 so will be after that; although i htink i will only ttc for a bit longer...i am 40 next year and the older sa2 gets the less inclined i am to go back to babydom...cant definately decide to stop trying though at the moment.

I live in Yorkshire...can anyone recommend a surgeon??

Sausagerocket: You're right, as shameful as it is to admit, I'm sure I wouldn't feel as 'inadequate' if I wasn't bombarded with images of larger-breasted women. Whenever I log into my Facebook, a banner constantly runs alongside whatever I'm looking at with changing images of pert-breasted women and text imploring me to sign up a breast implant consultation...probably gives you unrealistic expectations?

Having said that, I have no desire to have the sort of breasts that would make people stop and stare or even to have 'large' breasts as such, although a C on my frame may look that way, I'm not sure. If I had B-cups that had a nice shape and were closer in size - I know it's normal to have one slightly larger but as far as I can see when I look down at my bra, one breast fills the cup very well with my nipple almost popping out and the other just about fills the other cup - then I would just be happy with my lot.

I could really do with Botox, or wrinkel stuff,a s I have lived in tropical countries for 10 years, and have LOADS of sun damage (prematurely ageing skin).

I could really do with someone ironing out my cellulite.

I coudl realy do with a flatter tummy and bigger boobs

....but, even though I have the money, I won´t.

I am almost 40 and realise these things won´t get any better.

BUT if I am really honest, I don´t think I look all that bad for my age and for someone who´s had 2 babies and breastfed for 2 years.

For me, all I need, is to go for my weekly swim at local swimming pool, and I feel that compared to the average I actually look pretty damned fine. Compared to a 17 year old model, I would look hideous, but thankfully there are no models at my local pool .

And if there were, I´d think: good for them. I have met loads of beautiful women with body issues, it´s insane, why do most people seem to not have a reality check?

The pool I tell you, the pool!

"I have met loads of beautiful women with body issues, it´s insane, why do most people seem to not have a reality check?"

I think it may be a generation thing, to some extent. My friends and I (in our mid-twenties) have grown up with cosmetic surgery in the media and it is viewed as a much more normative option than before, so have had different expectations of our bodies during formative periods like puberty where you cultivate your self-image and self-esteem. Even though a couple of my slightly larger friends talk about how envious they are of my figure and how great it is, they still say that if they were me - or if they lost enough weight to be my sort of proportions - they would then get breast implants. And these are intelligent girls. My B-cups on a 5'2, size 6/8 frame may be naturally in proportion but there are different expectations these days, as shocking as that is.

If I have a daughter, I'll worry about how her self-image will be shaped by the standards increasingly expected of women.

standards that you are reinforcing with your own behaviour/thought processes ?

(btw, I am the late 20's mother of a DD)

I do think we've all become so swayed by the media.

There is pressure I think to be much thinner/more gorgeous/younger looking/hair free/whiter teeth than there ever was. When my mother was my age she probably looked 10 years older than I do but still I compare myself to famous celebs who are my age and find myself lacking. Crazy I know.

I think Jordan is a salutary lesson though. She looked so much prettier 6 years ago than she does now. As others have said I worry that if I had a little botox I'd then be wanting fillers and so on.

I agree with Chandon and SausageRocket. There are lots of things I don't like about myself. On a bad day, I hate everything. In fact, I seriously think I may have Body Dysmorphia. But I still wouldn't go under the knife.

It makes me quite that this has become so normal. I don't want my DD to grow up feeling that she has to have a freakish Jordan figure, tippex white teeth, and a teeny snub nose in order to fit in.

I'm not having a go at anyone because we all feel those pressures to fit in, whether it's dying our hair, getting waxed, getting laser hair removal or whatever. It just makes me feel a bit sad.

Absolutely - that's why I haven't had it done (yet?). Do I want my DS to know I potentially risked my health and spent thousands of pounds to conform to society's expectations? If I have a daughter, do I want her to see me a poor example of self-esteem?

If I saw it as simply as "well, if you makes you feel better about yourself, get it done," then I would have already done it, I think. But it's much more complex than that.

I agree that we all do things to 'conform' but it is one thing spend an hour having highlights put in (or 10 mins bent over the bath with a home dye kit) and a whole other thing to undergo countless general anaesthetics and invasive, unnecessary procedures in the name of chasing some impossible, unattainable ideal.

Yes, thisxgirl, the issue is much deeper than that isn't it.

Amandoh-As your in Surrey too, would you mind if I asked where you had your Abdominoplasty carried out? As stated earlier in this thread, this is something I am looking to do when I have completed my family, and would prefer a pesonal rec as a starting point.

I agree you have to draw a line. My dilemma is whether I'm happy having the line where it currently is (I'm all natural, aside from highlights and make-up) or if I want to draw it on the other side of breast implants. I could sit and pick out flaws and draw up a list of other surgeries I imagine would make me look better, but none of them would have as much of an impact on my self-esteem as breast augmentation. Once you start getting into having multiple different surgeries, I think it's indicative of a larger problem.

You know, sometimes I feel at ease with my chest and know it's really not that bad, but it only takes a handful of images from television or a magazine or girls I know in "real life" with implants to think, "well, if they had issues with their breasts and got it done and now they are have these great shapes, why shouldn't I?" Is it better to take a 'moral' highground and try to accept yourself but never be entirely comfortable with your body, when there are largely and apparently safe and effective options to achieve what you want? Is life to short? I don't know.

Thisxgirl, I guess only you can decide where to draw the line. From what you've said it sounds like you have a gorgeous petite figure and breast implants would look rather odd. I personally really dislike breast implants (sorry to anyone on here who has them)and think they look dreadful. I used to have much fuller, perter breasts (to the point where they looked quite fake even though they weren't) pre-DD. They're smaller and less pert now after a year of breast feeding but I really don't mind. They don't look as good naked as they used to but DP doesn't care and I'm not planning to show them to anyone else!

I feel I am stuck in the middle of this debate - in my own mind.

I was abnormally enormous with the twins, and so my stomach is really messed up. It sticks out, and there is loads of excess skin, big lump over my belly button I can't bear not to wear a corset as it really upsets me that it's there, and I would just look awful as I'm otherwise not too bad. So my dh really supports me in getting it fixed.

But, when I talked to the surgeon I also had him look at my thighs, which are not great, (they did swell up like mad when I was pregnant, so have odd stretch marks on the inside) but also have quite big saddle bags and thought I may as well fix these at the same time.

So feel am sort of starting down that slippery slope. But other side of me says, what the hell, I will look great. It's hard, I feel a little that I should just accept myself the way I am...but also why not do it if I will feel so much better about myself? I wish I could feel one way or the other more clearly.

8oreighty-Easy for me to say I know, but don't feel guilty or that you are "selling out". You are not. You have two areas-your stomach and thighs that really bother you, and as an adult woman, you have done your research and have the support of your H. The surgery won't be the answer to all life's ills, but will make you feel better in terms of body confidence. You won't have the body of an 18 year old but you will have the best stomach/legs you can have for your age/following the ravages of childbirth which diet and exercise alone won't fix.

It only becomes a slippery slope if you let it and if it's masking other issues.