miserable ageing chat - no fuckers welcome

[NoahDear]

only us

When was the last time you saw your fanjo?

At least 5 months, am 39 + 4 days pg.
When was the last time you saw it?

I've decorated my hair with magnolia silk highlights- does that count?

I forgot to do something new

balls

however tonight I am going to put all my summer clothes into vacuum bags and reflate the carnage that is my autumn wardrobe

as far as I remember it consists of a pair of jeans from Gap that are too tight, a green hoody with an iron-burn mark on the cuff, and some grey woolly tights

glam days ahead

Application for membership please:

I've started liking things from the M and S Portfolio range (shudders).

I am currently having a VERY hot flush.

The only reason I need an elastic waistband is so I can tuck my norks in.

I need a lunchtime nap. Nowzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I think something happened to me as an adult not a very long time ago, and then count and realise it was over 20 years.

OMG, I had my first child 20 years ago, that is a whole lifetime.
The 90's doesn't seem long ago, was a decade or more!

right oyu have inspired me to do wardrobe

do what with it Dilly

I am thinking about burning mine

LOL at badbadbadCappy

Can I submit an application for membership please.

Age 42 and suffering with many of the things listed so far (won't embarrass myself bore you with the specifics ).

Also, I've noticed how loads of things go wrong/fall to bits/fall off/start failing (body-wise) literally as soon as I'd hit 40.

The latest being manky dry heels and feet. Never had this before . Why now? (and yes have discovered Flexitol)

Fashion/style-wise I'm having the usual autumn crisis of what to wear on my feet when its too hot for boots and too cold for sandals

easy ...sandals with socks..next question please

I had hair done on Saturday (colour and highlights and cut and blowdry) and felt vaguely feminine human, but after having been out in the drizzle x2 this morning I am back to my usual moptop, sigh... I suppose the colour is still there, that's a bonus, isn't it?

Autumn wardrobe, hmm, all my babies born/due in March so will recyle same old, same old saggy jersey selection of exciting maternity clothes - again!!

monkey, the tragic thing is that I am still waiting for adulthood to strike when I am now closer to retirement than to school leaving - obviously I am terminally deliusional and incurably immature.

oh and they must be stripey its the law

I have winter wardrobe bags lying reproachfully on floor of bedroom as I type. I genuinely can't remember what is in them (short term memory loss seems to be my aging speciality) except for one very nice jacket that my sister bought me for my 40th. Looking forward to wearing that, but I know I can't just go out in a jacket.

lol at sandals and socks -I guess it kills two birds with one stone though as that means my manky feet will also be hidden from view .

Result

Just turned 50.

Hairy chin.

White hair means I'm following the Anne Widdecome school of hair colouring.

Fat.

But no grey pubes.

Last time I had my upper lip waxed , I found two lines going down to my mouth that make me look like I'm pursing my lips all the time. Preferred the moustache. At least that's something to twirl. You can't twirl a wrinkle.

ok have bagged up summer stuff.
I havea few thiner sweaters lying around but its not cold enough to get winter stuff OUT of loft

oh Dilly you do not live in the North

I need my big coat already and god knows what I'll do in January

I'm elderly now and my circulation is not what is was

okay here is a question for you all

I have this grey wool maxi skirt which is in 3 horizontal panels each with a hemmed bit and I want to make it shorter

if I lop it off after the second panel it will be just the right length for a witch outfit

if i lop it off after the first it will be about 4 inches over my knee. This preferred option. If I lop it off in between I will have to hem it and it will be wobbly and will look like a berk.

I am short, and size 12-14. Could I get away with this if I wore industrial strength woolly tights? or would I look like tragic elderly fat bird

dh says it will look fine but he is now old enough to be dirty old man so shall disregard his input

lol

lol?

lol is no good

opinion on skirt needed urgently

am scissor-happy

Do not buy a magnified mirror ever. I have a 7x one for plucking my eyebrows, it makes me weep. My mouth also looks older when de fussed, I prefer the Adolf look to that.

My new thing is: last night I cut my hair shorter and changed my parting. I look at least a day younger.

Cappy - would love to help re the skirt lopping, but only you know if you will feel happy with your legs out - I don't think it's a mutton/lamb issue, more personal confidence. TBH, I reckon opaque tights and boots can work any skirt into something cool, so I would go for it.

Four inches above knee is fine if no fat knees and you don't mind a chilly fanjo.

Do it, Cappy.

At least then the youth will be laughing at your odd fashion and not screaming with fear at seeing all your wrinkles/grey hair/flab.