I'm going to a party on Saturday and I am going to be the oldest, fattest and ugliest

[lilibet]

I'm not exagerating either!

Dh is 10 years younger than me, his mates are all around the same age, all their wives/ girlfriends are younger than them.

I feel so uncomfortable if we are in a big group, I'm fine if we go out with just one other couple but when it's the whole lot of them I feel like I'm their mother. Doesn't help that my dd is 19 and therefore only a few years younger than some of them.

No matter what I wear I never feel right, I feel totally out of place, I hate that I feel like this. I am a confident person in most situations but not in this one. Tomorrow night I am running a quiz night for about 70 people and I know that if anyone who was there could read this, they would think it was a wind up.

I get worked up and upset and feel so sorry for dh who ends up offering not to go.

Someone please metaphorically slap me!

Motherinferior - I am very touched that you remember so much about me and you even remember TUTB!!

And Morticia - I've seen pictures of you - you are one lovely lady!

I put myself through it because we don't see enough of dh's freinds compared to mine and I feel bad about it.

And the mate who is having the party is a really nice bloke and if anyone would like a bit of gossip I fixed him up with a mnetter a few years ago and it all went very wrong! (whispers very, very quietly, I set him up with Tamba )

I think I have to show my face at his party after that one!

Lilibet, I am very nearly wetting my pants now. You didn't!

Oh yes I did!

He was very smitten

you set him up with tamba

And he has the same name as a certain male mumsnetter who was also (allegedly) involved with Tamba at the same time.

Saved confusion on her part

OMG - mega gossip!

so your mate was not the infamous CK then?

No, my mate is a K not a C

if you get my drift

nothing wrong in being fat, or ugly for that matter (plenty of fat ugly 20 year olds)...you can still have tons of sex appeal..

big yourself up fgs..

Lordy Lord Lillibet!!! Tamba? Yes, then you have to go!

Just sit there with a wise but knowing smile on your face and refer to them as girls.

Well, there you are: you've got serious gossip you could spill so can be smugly glowing all evening.

But honestly, I'd be seriously tempted to say look darling, I'd much rather you went out and saw your mates on your own, do come home reeking of booze, just leave me out of it

I think it's a bit of his past he is trying to block out of his memory

on the party going thing i think you have to go along and be yourself

10 years isnt that much gap really

and if you are confident normally then try to get in the confiodence zone for this it should be doable

sex beforehand does sound like a good idea i would go for that one

i do empathise tho

I'll tell dh about the sex before hand - he'll be thrilled - then again, so will I!!

So, what shoudl I wear?

Only cos i'm not going, Lilibet.

get something new if you can

something that you like and feel happy in

Makeup. I don't usually wear makeup myself, but would reach for the slap on this occasion.

You could ponder secret pantlessness yourself, of course

I always think that apart from good make up a really nice accessory lifts your spirits - plus if you have something interesting the whippersnappers will be thinking how stylish you are

Dd works for Estee Lauder, I may get her to do my face for a change.

Motherinferior - I am not a hussy (and I really need my 'hold me ins')

Lilbet I am in the same position, DH is 10 years younger, Christmas Do in December, and all the other wives are two are under 25, my DS is 0, so feel like their granny!

DS is 30 not 0

Lilibet of course you are going to feel shitty if you are thinking like this. Confidence and beauty come from within.

My friend is and always has been overweight. She is the sexiest person I know. honestly she is. She is constantly adorned by sexy men. Because she feels good about herself.

Give yourself a break and stop comparing yourself to others. go out and buy a really sexy pair of undies that will make you feel great and get your hair done. Whatever it takes to make you feel better on the inside and you will look a million times better on the outside,

I aplogise for bad typing there is a hige triuck parked ouside my house and I cant see the keybord