What do you really think of scruffy friends?

[violentviolet]

• My hair is permanently wavy and tatty.
• I'm uber-pale and I don't tan.
• I don't have much time to iron, so tend to "chance it" with my clothes.
• Said clothes are generally old, over-tumbled, and my jeans are ripped at the back from walking on them (I'm short)
• I don't have matching accessories, bags, etc
• I don't dress very feminine or stylish, but tend to go for classic things like dark tops and jeans or black trousers.
• I still look like a student.

My (mostly childless) friends constantly look glamorous, made up, straightened, tanned, in accessorised outfits with lovely haircuts, and I feel like a tatty minger next to them. I tend to look overdressed when I do attempt to smarten up as I can't get the balance right.

Should I be trying to fight against the scruffy hippy I seem to have become, or should I just accept that not everyone is the glamorous and organised type, and just accept who I am?

What do you really think of your scruffy friends? And don't be PC, I want the truth!

lol at fingerless gloves. You need a bobble hat too. go on

Ah, yes- the Steptoe look!! Although in the 80s I do remember fingerless gloves being truly desirable fashion accessories...

Oh no- bobble hats are definitely just a stage too far- I'd look like the Bobinogs

You don't know anything about fashion, remember? Just put the damn hat on - we are after the laugh

I'm getting tired and cheeky now lol. Off to bed (really this time). Night girls.

Ok- the bobble hat actually suits, and seems very practical!! I'm going to bed now, but will keep the hat on, will that do?? Night all!!!!

I wouldn't say I am particularly smart but probably one of the smarter of my friends (that said, my hair is usually a bit pants - but it's not from lack of trying) but I never judge my friends for how they look, I don't really care what they are wearing, in fact scruffy friends just make me feel smarter so you are probably doing them a favour!

However, I am a bit schizophrenic about how I look in that one day I may have straightened hair, make-up, a dress and heels on, maybe even earrings. Other days no make up, jeans with holes like yours (I too am short) and lucky if I have even brushed my hair. I don't like to be too predictable and though I like dressing smartly and wearing make-up I don't want to be one of those people who just looks ill without make up on because you never see it.

Anyway, my point is be comfortable with who you are, I'm sure your friends are judging you. However, if you are fed up with looking less than glamourous and want to know how to perk yourself up with little effort that is a whole other thread and one that mnetter are incredibly good at!

Violet

Not sure where I stand on this one, I have no DCs so I have more time for preening and grooming. I think that anything that makes you feel good about yourself is great. I doesn't have to be expensive haircuts , or clothes or beauty treatments.

This s what I do:

Wash hair, condition and straighten (no expensive products, only straighten once a week, and believe me some people look better with straight hair).

Clean face and moisturise (plenty of good cheap products in Tesco)

Apply lick of lipgloss, concealer and mascara (again plenty of good cheapies)

No worries about pale complexion I am naturally dark but my DP is very pale and I think he looks great.

Clothes: wear what suits you and make the best of your good bits (Primark,Asda, etc, or sales)

I would never judge anyone based on their grooming or housekeeping but IMO some women who spend a bomb on grooming end up looking unnatural, overdone and crap... like a WAG.

Healthy and natural looks lovely and doesn't cost much.

HTH.

Fig

i had a scruffy friend but since i have had two children i tend to join her most days. unless i am leaving the house to go further than tesco that is! then i make myself look slightly more presentable. though hair straightening and make up is saved for special days now as i have two children to look after and have much better/more important things to do with my time.

my clothes are all fairly new though as i order a few key items each season from next and mix and match them with cheaper (newlook/primark) stuff!!

i never really considered how my friend looked! she always looked really sexy when we were out ona night out so i just thought of that rather than her daywear! iyswim?

its the same as the old "i feel like people are looking at me thinking why is that fat cow shopping here. nothing will fit her" thing my friend used to tell me she felt. my reply "do you look at people and think that when you are out?" honestly people have better things to do with thier time than judge your dress sense and if they dont they must have very boring and unfulfilling lives!!

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honestly? i think you've let yourself go, and seeing your friends reminds of what you should be like. make more of a effort. iron your clothes, get a tan, make a effort when shopping for clothes.

Kooky and hippy looks all right when you're young.

Suddenly one day you see this mad bag lady in a shop mirror... and it's you!

Okay, it was me. I thought I looked like a rock chick, but in fact I just looked like a tired old bird with long straggly hair. And watch the shoes, as well. DM-type black boots can begin to look, well, orthopaedic when you pass 35.

you sound like me.

i'm quite happy the way i am. In my own slightly scruffy way, i think i do make the best of myself.

I don't want to look like everyone else - polished to perfection. It's just an artifice. I'd rather look practical and (according to dp) rather sexy in an approachable way.

Shiny expensive bags and painted nails just aint my style. I think earth-mother can be equally alluring, it's just not what Gok Wan and the like are shoving down our throats.

i have one mate who can have scruffy days and i must admit i do find myself worrying that she might be a bit depressed - well you did ask?!

I am scruffy. Not an ex goth, not depressed. Just always scruffy. Not about to change now.

I'm pretty scruffy. Even when I'm smart I still have an indifinable air of potential scruffiness about me - I can;t shake it. I think I am Pigpen from Charlie Brown.

Have no idea what my friends think - not much I doubt otherwise they wouldn't be friends.

My mother on the other hand is another matter entirely...

I'll be honest I know lots of fellow mums exactly as you describe and I feel intensely jealous of them. They don't care, it takes them much less time to get ready than me and they really seems to enjoy everything, whilst I worry about getting muddy, my tight jeans falling down, and baby's crusty hands ruining my carefully chosen outfit.

I bought some bronzer last week - "ooh" I thought "I'll look glamourous effortlessly".

But I just look grubby.

I bet you looked great K. Make sure you put it on the right parts of your face to stop your face looking flat. (Top tip from a friend of mine as I used to look like I had rubbed a stock cube on my face!)

no I didn;t - I looked grubby (honest )

I don't need anything to make my face not look flat [confused emoticon] because it isn't (flat, that is)

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I take loads of interest in myself - just not necessarily in how I look. I don't scare the horses and thats enough unless I'm trying to impress. Years of making an effort and not looking any different has convinced me that my time is better spent having a nice time with a friends/family/DS/a book instead of standing in front of an ironing board.

It depends whether you need to as well. I need to look reasonably well presented for my job, but I also don't want to spend time I don't have doing that. I do wear make-up, but I do it on the (1 1/2 hr!!) commute. I also like being fairly smartly presented because (like it or not) I prefer people's reactions to me when I look 'pulled together'. That said, the majority of time at weekends I am in combats and a t shirt with hair in a ponytail, rolling around with a toddler.

Horses for courses.

Oh, and its nice to look good for DH as well. He tries to make an effort to.

Besides I am pretty fabulous in so many other ways that I feel it would just be intimidating to other women if I looked glamourous as well. Which isn't fair or sisterly.