Mad hair - it can’t just be me!?

[MillyStar9]

Inspired by the ‘how quickly would you become unrecognisable on a desert island?’ Thread. For all my life I have hated my hair. My family have laughed about it and mocked me forever. When left to its own devices it is absolutely insane- it dries into the biggest, bushiest mess possible. It is so frizzy and unruly. I would honestly be unrecognisable if I left it alone. I have straightened it for years and it’s ok but very dated. I have literally spent thousands of pounds on products over the years. Can anyone send sympathy / tips / advice?? Do I just need to accept it??

Same here. No solutions to suggest but I bet someone’s going to come on here and suggest a pixie cut…just dont!

Have you ever tried it curly? As in gel etc

Are you related to me, OP? My untamed mane is allegedly genetic, but it is wilder than anybody else's in living memory. I wake up to a surprise every day. It ranges from windswept Shetland pony, a cross between Brian May and Hagrid, a 1980's newsreader's perm, a 1990's girl-band member with a head of crimped hair, or an escapee from the Victorian era, complete with ringlets! My stepdad goes, "Oh, look, it's the Hairbear Bunch!" when he sees it in its full glory. The curls do not stay if exposed to The Great Outdoors... and it doesn't if I've straightened it to France and back, either <sigh>. It just escapes and runs amok, screaming that it can't be tamed!

For a long time, I gave up on it. Fortunately, I work in an industry where I can shove it up in a bun hide it under a hat until next spring.

I have an appointment booked for a Japanese Conditioning treatment that will apparently permanently straighten it. I went for the consultation and the hairdresser was astonished at its sheer size, while I was embarrassed at the state of it being seen by somebody else. I wait with bated breath to see if it will cure my hair's affliction!

I thought straightening perms or keratin treatments were supposed to help? I’m envious of women like my mother and grandmother who had a wash and set every Saturday. But I guess that was a different era.

Same. Have loved reading all these descriptions though. Have been reminded of my lovely Mum who is no longer with us and her more wayward than me hair! It's nice to think of her as she was and not in a sad way, so thanks all. 😁

No tips as such though because I am also struggling with my hair. Trying to straighten it less and embrace the curlies! But it's so much more work. 😆

I have very thick hair, definitely prone to frizz but I do keep that in check with moisturising products.

Rather than the flat, and as you say dated look you get with a straightening iron I'd suggest a hot blow dry brush, like the Revlon one. You get the smoothing straightening effect but with some body and bounce to it, and waves at the end if you like.

I think that given you say your hair has been like this forever, it seems that it’s dry as opposed to damaged. Dry hair needs hydration, so moisturising products and oils, even your shampoo has to be moisturising and I’d use a mask as your conditioner every time you wash.
Moroccan Oil is very good, all of the products but especially the Frizz Shield spray and they smell delicious.
I find I have to methodically blow dry my hair from about 80% dry, on a brilliant Y S Parks boar bristle brush which really helps to stop the frizz. Neither are cheap but they really help.
I also mist over with John Frieda Frizz Ease hairspray which creates a good barrier if it’s damp out.

I have lots of thin hair that's prone to frizz, mostly since peri when it dried to a crisp. Now, in menopause that status is unchanged. Curly girl method did nothing for me. What helped was changing products and method. I use two of aveda's most moisturising shampoo and hair mask (the pot version of their conditioners). I alternate between them. Then when hair is wet I comb it (sacrilege, but it works for me) and add hair oil. I can use cheap hair oils, this doesn't seem to matter. I let that air dry, takes hours. I'm left with a shrub, but I sleep on that and when I wake up I have the good hair of my youth. It's wavy, smooth, bouncy and good to go.

Ladies, I love you all. I have always had really BAD hair- it's not straight, it's not curly, it's fine and clumps like a sheep needing to be sheared. All my life, it's been a curse.
I have so many hair products and conditioner and shampoos

It's actually best when it's long as the weight drags it down and I can style it more easily. But recently I was on a chemo drug and had to have my hair short, and now it won't grow and looks like pubic hair. On my head

PS People who says not to wash it every day- if I dont. it just climbs to the top fo my head and looks greasy as well as dry. It's amazing

Mine goes into lovely curls if left to dry naturally but there is so much of it that I end up with a full on Crystal Tipps (for those of us old enough to remember). I usually tie it back into a french plait or plaited pony tail but there are lots of bits that never grow long enough to get properly caught back so I invariable end up looking like I've arrived via a hedge backwards.

I have been trying curly girl methods where you only wash it with conditioner or very gentle shampoo, and use leave in moisturiser but I am either allergic to the products or it ends up looking greasy.

Your hair sounds like mine, could I please ask which aveda ones you use ?

Yes mine is awful in this weather. I used to keratin straighten it which was good, but I don’t have four hours to spend at a hairdressers now. My hairdresser recommended this - colour wow dream coat.

I actually bought the extra strength one, although the normal apparently gives more shine. It’s pretty good honestly. You have to dry it with tension - I pull each section straight with my hands and run a drying brush though it. Way less frizz, don’t even have to straighten often, and weirdly I can now leave my hair four days between washes (before it was strictly two days).

Another mad woman with a vote for the babyliss big hair brush. Mine looks ok if there isn't a drop of moisture in the air. If not I tend to look like doc from Back to the Future. I do like wow dream coat and am currently trying out Champo's new over night treatment.

I've tried so many things, across different price points, but these are the ones that do the best job for me. I do a lot of exercise so I have to wash more often than I'd rather, and occasionally I'll use the green bottle conditioner instead of shampoo if I think I can cope with just a good rinse, but the pink shampoo is very moisturising if I feel I need a gentle clean, the green one is the one I use if I feel I need more if a clean. Both of the mask conditioners feel the same to me. And although hair still shrubs for the few hours afterwards before going to bed, it feels very soft in the shower, and like I say, by the next morning it's swishy again. Looks like it's all on sale at the moment!

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I also have shit hair, but in a different way. I have lots of very straight, very fine hair. It literally sticks to my head and gets greasy and sweaty within hours. It looks greasy if I put it up. It's just greasy all the time.
I've tried leaving it during COVID. It actually looked wet. I get through a working day by having regular bleach highlights. I think I'm just an oily person. My skin gets oily as well but now I'm into my late 40s I can at least see the benefit of that as I have less wrinkles than some of my friends. But I still wash my hair every single day. I don't actually know which is worse OP. It not a race to the bottom but I'd love your wild hair for a week and I'd just embrace the chaos.

I’ve embraced mine. Yes it can be curly or wavy and each hair is fine but there are so many of them my hair is really thick. In addition, the curl/wave starts about 3” away from my scalp, so very short styles don’t work at all. I am currently embracing my inner Crystal Tipps (I remember that programme well as it’s not often my hair is represented on screen).

I wash it, using moisturising shampoo, about once a week. Any hair washes in between, I just co wash (conditioner only). I comb the conditioner through before rinsing. I choose products without sulphates, parabens or silicone. I scrunch a curl enhancing product into the ends & leave it to dry naturally 99% time. If I do need to blow dry it, I use a diffuser. I put it up in a pineapple (pony tail on top of my head) overnight.

Honestly, if people think my hair is a mess, I consider that their problem, rather than my problem.