How do you decide your style?

[MightyCarrot]

I'm 41, 5'2 (average torso but short legs) 55kg solid size 10.

Big boobs, broad shoulders, 27" waist, 35" narrow hips.

I pretty much live in jumpers, cargo type trousers and due to country living, wellies. Or vests and workout leggings.

Not in a stylish way! I'm fed up of my entire wardrobe, none of it feels like 'me'.

Well, no, I love by shoes - Doc Martens and a few pairs of thick sole converse. And I have a pair of wide leg jeans I like. But concerned I look like I'm trying to be a teenager.

Where do I begin trying to find a style suitable for someone in their 40s?! Any advice gratefully received!

Dress for the lifestyle you have, not the imaginary one you would like.

Get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel good or is past its best.

if footwear is your thing, maybe plan your outfits around this, so your footwear becomes the focal point.

Start by buying a few nice items that suits your shape and style eg jeans or trousers. For example, you have big boobs, so V or scoop neck t shirts are likely to be more flattering.

have a look at Putting Me Together blog as there are loads of outfit posts and tips.

I wish I knew , I could be about 6 different people if you looked in my wardrobe.

Select three words that you want to describe your style, thinking about the outfits that suit you best and what you don't feel comfortable in.
Two of mine are classic (I always feel best in things that are classic, rather than whimsical or very of the moment) and feminine, by which I don't mean frilly or girly, but just that I don't ever feel right in more masculine pieces - when I try to wear brogue shoes, for example, or a larger suit jacket, I just feel like I am in a costume.

Your three might be edgy or bold or muted or structural or masculine or... well... you get the idea.

Then think about your figure. What kind of necklines, waist-levels, hem-lengths, sleeve lengths, look best on you. You are probably an apple shape, so read some guidance for apple shapes online.

Then think about which colors get you the most compliments. Are you someone who looks good in muted, marled fabrics? My husband has softer coloring than mine, so such fabrics look luxurious on him, while they look scruffy on me. I need strong, undiluted colors. Think too about whether cool or warm colors suit you. No need to jump into the color seasons, if you don't want to or would find it too restrictive, but at least know your best shades.

For any outfit, start from the shoes. The kind of shoes you have to wear (for walking in the city verses walking the dog on a muddy, rainy day) determine everything else. Making sure you have appropriate and appealing shoes for the occasions you face most might be a good place to start. For muddy dog-walking I wear Penelope Chilvers waterproof boots, for example, and so I start with these. For days at work, I wear Repetto or Chanel ballet flats, so I would start there. I don't have a ton of shoes - maybe eight pairs in total, but I have shoes for all of the occasions I regularly face.

Also focus on your outerwear. A small number of really good coats can transform any outfit. Just throw it on and go.

From what you’ve said in your op, it sounds like you already know what you like but you’re fighting it because of some daft notion about how 41 year-olds ought to dress. I would wear the Dr Martens and wide leg jeans and stop worrying. (I rarely see teenagers in DMs anyway.)

I don’t. There are a wide variety of clothes and styles I like and I buy what I like. You don’t need ‘a’ style.

Cottagecore? Gorpcore? What do you want to communicate outwards about you? Or do you want to focus inwards and clothes making you feel confident, etc?

Lol me too 😆

W

I have no more idea of a specific style suitable for someone in their 40s than I do of one for someone twenty years older. And I’m pretty much obsessed with clothes and style and am obliged to dress myself.

In my current city all the female undergrads wear slouchy wide leg jeans, generally with trainers. But so do residents and tourists of any age. No one here would question your wardrobe choices. 😄

OK, answer me this: what sort of clothes buying appeals to you as being ideal - a big trawl of vinted for things that remind you of a previous era, or an hour in the changing rooms of Zara, or obscene amounts spent on one perfect thing from an obscure online source that you’d never share on S&B? () Or something else entirely?