Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!

[ihaveafavouritecat]

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

Maybe I've just been lucky - but I've rarely had any issues with buying footwear second-hand.

Admittedly, I do usually buy from brands that I know. But otherwise I'll do a search to find out if a brand tends to run large or small (ditto with clothing).

I suppose I have fairly standard feet too! In that I don't need wide-fitting, or have any issues from years of high heels (as I've never worn them that much).

With those Dries shoes, if I could get my feet into them that's all that would matter to me - I would happily suffer to wear them for a day!!

@ihaveafavouritecat I’m trying to be a voice of reason here, for a change. If you’re not used to heels and usually opt for very comfortable brands, I don’t think it’s wise to get so excited by ‘pretty things’ that you buy something that you feel uncomfortable in. Can you not opt for something more familiar for footwear and get a pretty bag to satisfy your magpie aspirations? Or some flat velvet Mary Janes?

I have suffered too much in uncomfortable shoes in the past to ever willingly do it again! Then again, I pretty much live in DMs except in high summer!

I understand your reticence - & I am not a voice of reason, even to myself!!

But of all the styles of heels that I or others have posted, I do think the Dries ones are fairly low risk? The toe isn't pointed, & the heel is block & mid-height. Plus, they'll have cost circa £700-1000 originally, so the finishing on the inside will be to a really high standard, & much less likely to rub than cheaper shoes.

That said, I'd always wear a pair of shoes around the house for several days before their first outing. And stick some plasters/Compeed in my handbag if disaster strikes!

I find springtime the worst for shoes rubbing - even ones I've worn before. It's because my feet are exposed, baby-soft, after a winter of being cosseted in comfy flat boots & warm socks!!

Poor OP!

I think we are putting quite a degree of financial temptation in front of her!

I have to admit, I am not a vinted fan, simply because I like to be able to return with ease.

Well, she did say she still needs to sort footwear, bags, jackets & jewellery! And that she'd be asking for suggestions on that now that the jumpsuit & dress(es?!) were sorted.

I wouldn't suggest buying on these platforms if a poster wasn't open to it. I didn't suggest any secondhand dresses - but the OP did say that she was open to Vinted/eBay, so I think it's worth a look on them for the extras!

(I've been using eBay as a buyer for over 22 years now, with almost entirely good experiences. Vinted for just a couple of years - but that's also been mostly great. But I am fairly careful & thorough, & I ask for measurements, fabric content, extra photos etc if information is lacking. On the few occasions it's not quite right, I've re-sold it.

To me, the risks associated with getting it wrong & buying something that doesn't fit/suit are more than outweighed by: the vast range of options that it opens up - with patience, you can usually find pretty much whatever you want; buying really high-quality, high-end items for the same cost as new, not very well-made fast-fashion pieces; and, of course, sustainability & the environment.

That's not including the sheer fun of it all!)

Edited to say that quite a lot of sellers on eBay do allow returns, & you can search for only those if you wish.

You might just be developing a shoe fetish ...!

I do think it's possible to find lovely footwear that's also comfortable - though it takes a bit of work. However, my requirements for, say, sightseeing all day in a city over a week, would differ from what I'd want from a pair of shoes that I'd only ever wear for fairly short periods of time for an event such as this. And would probably only re-wear infrequently.

(Please buy the Dries shoes though ...!! 😁)

I know some people have huge fun navigating vinted!

But OP should feel comfortable that she has two beautiful outfits and we can definitely find lots of options that will work.

I do think those shoes could work brilliantly with the jumpsuit and Green dress, and I like the heel on them. Even with the knowledge of the lighter velvet (which I agree rules out chunky) I still would not feel wedded to a very pointy toe, as the trousers only show a very tiny peep, and there is still quite a lot of fabric to balance out a more substantial looking shoe.

I think it is important they are something the OP can walk in comfortably, and those ones look pretty comfortable. I wore uncomfortable shoes to an event recently, and my tolerance for that has just plummeted since my youth. It was miserable.

Hi all. I’ve approached the seller on Vinted to ask the heel height. If that’s 3 inches or less I would probably try an offer. But her blurb makes it very clear she’s not open to offers so who knows. Might try the ‘my son’s wedding fit perfectly with my outfit, Eleanor strongly recommended you/them to me… ‘ but if there really isn’t an offer on offer, I’m not sure I can spend £155 on a pair of shoes I haven’t tried on can I? If they’ve been on there for two months it suggests others feel the same, even though a lot of people clearly luff them too.
I’m also at an airport and boarding shortly so won’t be able to do much more on this. I think at £100 or less, and 3inches or less, I’d give it a shot because they are indeed beautiful and I feel sure would complement (sp?) at least one of my items perfectly…

Thanks all. In haste, I’m happy to keep Vinted in mind as an option. I’ve used it a lot over the last couple of years while moving down through about 5 or 6 clothes sizes. I’d say about 1 in 10 purchases is disappointing, rest are usually between fine and fab. One of the first selection of outfits I shared, albeit roundly rejected, was a worn-once wedding outfit, probably about £700 when new. I did buy some brand new Ugg sandals on there which were fine, but I’d worn the exact same style before so no risk really on that occasion.
I don’t feel under pressure to spend exactly, but you guys are certainly introducing me to some possibilities I didn’t consider which are tempting!
boarding now! ☺️

Oh these are glorious!

Ah, I hadn't noticed her comment about offers - but I didn't quite read it as meaning "no offers".

I read it as "To the annoying-as-hell woman who keeps offering me £22 for a pair of shoes that cost me £700, I will not respond to any more offers from YOU!! However, anyone else who's prepared to make me a sensible offer, please do"!!

Fingers crossed the height is acceptable, & that she takes a chunk off for you ... (maybe send her the link - she might get invested too!!).

I'd also say that not having tried them on wouldn't really worry me, if they're the right size. Apparently their trainers etc are a bit on the large side, but these are likely to be pretty true to size (says Google). You could ask for more detailed measurements if the sizing concerns you, or is it more the heel height?

What would be more important to me would be considerations like

• Do you want to be able to wear the same footwear with both outfits (to save on costs?), or would you prefer to have different footwear?
• Do you think you'd wear them again for other events - Christmas/dinners out/birthdays etc?
• If not, are you happy to own a beautiful & collectable pair of designer shoes that you admire on a regular basis, keep on display, but only wear very occasionally?

Different things carry more or less weight for different people. I will happily admit that I own several pairs of 1960s brocade jewelled stilettos that aren't even in my size!!! However, I found them for very little in flea markets/charity shops over the years, & display them in my bedroom - so that's not quite the same ...

They would look great with it !

I also think they would take the pressure off the need for a jewellery spend as they are "feet jewellery!"

... and @EleanorMc67 will take them off your hands if they are wrong op!😂

Busy sanding down my toes like one of Cinderella's ugly sisters, so that I can squeeze into a size 6 ... 😁

😂

I laugh, but one of my dc loudly announced that their trainers fitted better "now we finally cut my toenails."

They save these gems for the school run crowd.

Now the problem is that I'd saved lots of images/links to other footwear options for both outfits, either first-party or resale - & most are now looking rather lacklustre compared to the Dries green & gold brocade beauties ... 😶

Helloooo!
Sorry, I know I’m a bit absent of late so will understand if you’ve moved on, but back to let you know that:
The votes are in. I’ve canvassed several trusted friends+ fam, and the feedback is unanimous - it’s the teal dress. So, irrespective of whether I’m wearing it for the reg office or big day, that’s the colour I’m going to accessorise… with your help please!
I’ve messaged the seller on Vinted twice about those shoes but she’s unresponsive. So perhaps they won’t be part of my outfit, I’m sorry to let you down @EleanorMc67! Get filing those toes and you can be their next owner! They would probably look best with the khaki dress though wouldn’t they? I really like the jacquard style though, so there might something similar we can find that would make the teal dress look divine. I think I just need shoes bag and earrings, no necklace as the neck is high.
I will go back to posts I’ve neglected to answer and see if that helps at all. At least I’ve decided on the dress colour!
Reg office service is 7 weeks away now 🥹

Oooh teal dress! Lovely. Looking forward to seeing what EleanorMc67 and RuthieTuthie you will choose to accessorise. Although the olive was my slight preference, I think the teal has more of a contrast with the jumpsuit so that's perfect. Onwards and upwards with the quest!

You are so much more restrained than I am, OP! And quite right too! Now I'm trying to resist a search for "Is there a way to stretch brocade shoes?" ...!!

Glad the decision has been made! It's good to try a colour that you've been pleasantly surprised by, & also it is distinctly different to the green of the jumpsuit, whereas the green dress was in the same family of shades.

(The seller may well get back to you though, she might just not have automatic notations turned on.)

I have been on a bit more of a hunt in your absence - for the jumpsuit accessories too, so will post a few finds ...

I wonder if with your new hair a multi stone drop earring would look lovely - the trouble is with earrings it’s hard to try but perhaps you could go in store to see these River Isksnd or M & S ones?
Love this gold braided Zara bag too, would work day or night.
https://www.zara.com/gb/en/metallic-braided-clutch-p16313710.html?v1=547002069&utm_campaign=productShare&utm_medium=mobile_sharing_iOS&utm_source=red_social_movil

I agree, & there are absolutely loads of well-priced costume jewellery pieces around.

I know that others on the thread (who almost certainly will have much better taste than me!!) think that the OP should keep jewellery/accessories simple & discreet, or even not bother. For me, an outfit for an event like this would feel incomplete without jewellery - & perfume, make-up & good underwear!!!

@Calliopespa , @Wildgoat & @sulgari - I think you were all in favour of minimal jewellery. I promise I am nothing like Kat Slater & am actually quite low-key in person ... 😁!!! And I know I've posted what look like really big blingy pieces upthread - but the close-ups don't give a sense of scale & they're actually quite small.

Being tall, I do occasionally wear & carry off (I think!) large pieces of costume jewellery myself - but hopefully I've taken into account, in the suggestions to follow, that a) the OP is petite & slim, & b) it's a wedding - & hopefully reined in the latent Kat Slater in me!

Jewellery is a funny one tbh.

My best friend and I are very similar build, very similar colouring, but she absolutely suits statement jewellery, and I find I just don't, which might sway me in my comments. So I don't really know with the OP. But I did think the jumpsuit looked as though it could get away with not much, or even nothing, at the neck if OP doesn't find what she is looking for.

I've never really worked out what the algorithm is actually, but I think it has to do with neck shape!

Also, very often people suit one statement item better than lots of more trinkety things.