Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!

[ihaveafavouritecat]

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

I agree @Calliopespaneither neckline of the dress or jumpsuit would suit a necklace, which is why I think the OP should go dramatic with her earrings, especially with that fab bob and also because it’s a v v special occasion!

I’ve made a low offer on those shoes on the basis that I just might keep the khaki dress. Let’s see if the seller is open to it!

Yes the S+B crew are pretty much directing proceedings at this point! 🙃

Thanks @Calliopespa Yes I don’t really know if I suit ‘big’ statement jewellery anymore. I used to wear a lot of it, with coordinating necklaces. But in the last ten years or so I’ve mainly worn one gold necklace my husband gave me… and I fear I may have been wearing the same pair of earrings for over a year now. I need to up my game on the jewellery front too. I liked those coloured stone ones that @minnowonthesay shared. They could work one for the dress and t’other for the jumpsuit?! I looked at a few in Accessorize when at the airport on Monday. They had quite a few nice affordable things. Not so much to work with teal though, maybe more to work with green/khaki…

Yes, I am starting to feel as though Fate is channelling you back toward the khaki dress!

Pretty and cheap - might work with the jumpsuit? Probably too subtle for some though!
www.johnlewis.com/orelia-jade-micro-hoop-and-drop-earrings-green-gold/p115441528

Those are nice @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupiethank you. I’ve been looking this evening too, for things to complete the teal dress outfit. Would it be very dull to just go teal dress + gold shoes, bag and jewellery? Or even teal on teal as in teal dress, teal shoes, teal bag, gold earrings/bangle? ie no accent colour? I’m asking mainly because I’m not seeing many teal plus a.n.other colour items that I could use. If it was a different, more casual event, I’d probably use a scarf which picked up the various colours I was wearing. It may be an overused thing by women of a certain age, but I feel I can look well coordinated this way. Won’t work here though…

I think that gold (dull, muted cold, not cool-toned bright and shiny) would work for both. Teal on teal would be far too matchy matchy. Teal looks good with warm deep gold, bronze, or deep browny burgundy. Burgundy is one of this year's colors, so you might have some luck there.

I gave it my best shot, mentioning son’s wedding, friend spotted them for me, fab match with dress, etc. Seller rejected my offer, saying she’s ‘not looking for a quick sale’. 😕

Did you have any more thoughts about making a bag? Something like this is really easy to make, if you can find a fabric that you like. sisterjane.com/collections/accessories/products/alexis-jacquard-bag?edit=one

Thanks yes, I could certainly make something like that, . Funnily enough I was just looking at something on Vinted which I was thinking I could use to dress up some plain velvet and make a bag of some kind… a variety of very fancy embroidered lace ribbons. I also liked a bag that Eleanor PP’d from ASOS, a kind of tapestry bag in blues and greens I think.

I'm really not loving the tapestry bags or the embroidered bags with ribbony bits. Just a plain, squishy clutch, larger than you would initially think (as that's the current style) in a deep gold or bronze. The jump suit is the star, because of the absolute beauty of the fabric. The dress is the star because of the complexity of the cut (the slightly dropped waist and the swishy skirt and sleeves). And, more than that, your FACE is the star, highlighted by your stylish new hair.
Why does the bag need to be the star too? Why distract from all that loveliness with "what's that odd thing she's carrying?"
(I had left the thread for a bit as I know I've hurt OP with the bluntness of my previous comments - I just got far too enthused, and sometimes what I meant as humor has come across as cruel - BUT I also feel so invested and, above all, want the OP to look absolutely perfect on these special days.
Have you made a plan for the bra fitting? That will make such a difference too - the MOST difference of anything, I would suggest.

Well “Perfect” is entirely objective and there is certainly not just one definition of, “The current style” - brocade and opulent fabrics certainly seem to be having a bit of a moment. Why the heck shouldn’t @ihaveafavouritecat have a pretty bag or two, should she so desire? As for teal paired with burgundy, I’m sorry but I think that sounds far more awful than an embroidered bag!

It’s great that OP is getting lots of ideas to choose from or discard as she pleases, but ultimately she will identify her own version of “perfect” and that’s what’s most important.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie, I am only trying to be helpful, as are you.
If I am invested, it is simply because @ihaveafavouritecat now looks so incredible. And yet, there are suggestions here (for shoes, bags, earrings) that could, again, throw the whole look off. They would be taking a big step back.

I was the person who first said that the final chosen dress - which the OP only posted originally to show some outfits that she had tried on that were APPALLING in her eyes - was actually, extremely flattering on her and definitely needed a second look. And yes, tapestry is having a moment, but in a particular form - not the "made by the mum who is a bit crafty with the sewing machine for the school craft fair" form. The look the OP has thus far is elevated. Some of these suggestions aren't.

And take a good look at a color wheel to see why both bronze/copper and burgundy (a subtle burgundy, in a leather shoe) go together so well.
OP, I would suggest, is only developing her sense of her own "perfect." And, when she tries things that she perhaps wouldn't have initially given a second look, she realizes that they look REALLY good. But it takes time and practice.

We will have to agree to totally disagree. I think teal and burgundy looks like a football kit or a Christmas tree. And your sneering about people sewing is definitely not in the spirit of this lovely thread. I’m signing out now.

How annoying! How low an offer was it though ...?

I was looking at the prices that some of the things I'd saved had sold for &, for instance, Esska shoes (which have a fan base so tend to go quickly) are going for £70 to £90 or so, new or in very good condition. Yet they cost around £120-180 brand new & bought firsthand.

So I can see her (& other similar sellers) point if they're selling something rare, high-quality, & from an esteemed & currently very "in" designer. For shoes that will have cost £700+ new, then £150 is - if the savings are compared to the Esska shoes - already quite a bargain. So I doubt if she'd even look at an offer much below £100 tbh ...

I know you've said you don't necessarily need a jacket for the dress, OP. But I do think you might just look as if you've forgotten something?! It will be November! Also, having a jacket of some kind, whether plain or patterned, would give you another colour to tie in with regarding your bag, shoes & jewellery & would, IMO, help to make it all look well put-together?

Various posters have suggested different colours with the teal dress (aside from metallics). Burgundy, navy, teal or green. I've just done a little image experiment here, & paired the dress with those colours (as plain velvet jackets, for easy comparison - but it could be shoes or bags, it's about the colours).

Burgundy is ok, but wouldn't be my first choice. It looks quite dark against the teal & a bit dead. It works much better with olives & khakis, I think. Navy just looks as if you tried to match the dress & didn't manage it. Teal would also look like that.

I still think that an olive green (or emerald or jade - but I haven't gone there as I've assumed they're not your kind of greens, OP?), works best. It's the same depth & richness of colour, so they are balanced. It doesn't have to be plain either - a brocade jacket in greens/blues/teals & maybe a metallic would allow you to accessorise with the different colours.

The key is to make every choice look deliberate - not as if it's a jacket/pair of shoes/jewellery you already had, & are wearing simply because they'll do ...

This is a bit of a rogue suggestion, & might not work in the flesh - but this jacket contains navy & a wee bit of bright blue & also a fairly muted green between emerald & jade? And as it is tartan, the colours blend to give dark teal in some areas so it looks as if it might with the dress rather well?

The gold/bronze buttons stand out, so I think you'd just need shoes/bag/jewellery in similar metallic shades & that's that? I quite like that these earrings echo the buttons ...

https://www.boden.com/products/women-hereford-military-wool-jacket-navy-green-blue-tonal-check-u0540mul

I'm inclined to agree with @Ruthietuthie . If in doubt keep it simple. OP also had quite a set budget to begin with and all these options are encouraging her to go far above that.

What do you think of these @ihaveafavouritecat ? Steve Madden PALMA - Classic heels - gold-coloured/black/gold-coloured - Zalando.co.uk

I think they'd be nice with the jumpsuit and both colours of the dress. A bit of detail. Reasonable price. Wear with a plain gold bag (NOT too matchy matchy) and delicate jewellery and you're sorted.

As for a coat, I think you'd need a long coat, not something waist-length. Do you own any nice wool coats already?

ETA - you might prefer these? Bianco BIAMARALYN SLINGBACK GLITTER - Classic heels - brownglitter/brown - Zalando.co.uk

Honestly OP, I think you are nearly sorted!

I LOVE both outfits, whether you go for the teal or the olive dress. I think both lend themselves to simplicity of presentation.

I think any of the earrings that have been posted could work, and I personally would not shudder in horror if you said you were leaving the jewellery at that.

I did like the suggestion of the furry jacket, but equally if you have a long coat already, I don't think either coat or bag are going to feature much in the events as you have described them. It's not like a funeral where there is time in coat at the graveside etc.

It is really just shoes now. It was a shame the Etsy seller wasn't playing the game with us, but thinking back, could you repost (up close) a photo of the shoes you first tried the teal dress with? I seem to remember you had some that looked quite good.

I think you are in a good position in that if you stumble on jewellery/bag/coat that you love, then you could consider them. But the backbone of your outfit is in place.

I really like those Steve M shoes, even though I usually hate kitten heels! My daughter had some Steve M shoes for prom though and they tore her feet to pieces. Would definitely need some time to wear them in before the big day!

@EleanorMc67 you have surpassed yourself and absolutely nailed it with these choices. I am in love with those boots!

The Boden jacket is a no from me because it would potentially detract from the dress and just feels too blue overall. Also, does anybody really want to give Tory fox hunting Johnny Boden £300?

I feel as though it is a bit structured for the dress. I liked the big furry one!

And if spending £300 Op, I'd still go for the squishy squashy pasticcino bag which echoes the unstructured vibes!

But you don't need to spend. We have flogged your purse enough OP and I think you can round the outfit off with some more modest purchases and let the gorgeous main articles sing for themselves.

I'd forgotten about Boden man's dodgy politics & hunting ... but that suggestion was just for starters. Several others to come!

@ihaveafavouritecat - I think that you have a good eye & know your own taste, colours, likes/dislikes for pattern/plain, ornamentation etc. Whether you think you have a good sense of your own style or not, I think that you do - as you've been quick to say when you think something is lovely, or doesn't suit you. And you've been admirably polite in rebuffing people trying to sell you their MIL's wedding outfit!!! So I think you've refined your taste & style preferences to suit your new body, & dressing for a new event, through this process (all 33 pages of it to date!!!).

We are just a bunch of random strangers, playing stylist. And sometimes I think that we should all submit photos of ourselves, in what we're wearing right now, so that you can decide whether you'll listen to our opinions or not!!* What is very clear is that we'd all accessorise in different ways, & each prioritise where we spend/save our money differently.

I post things that I wouldn't necessarily choose/wear myself as I'm trying to hit on something that YOU would love & wear, not me. Don't panic - your instinct is there & youll arrive at accessories you love, just like you did with the dress & jumpsuit - & ignore any squabbles here!!!

*I would not pass the "what I'm wearing right now" test, as I'm having a pampering (conditioning, moisturising etc) morning - so I'm still in my dressing gown! It is a beautiful emerald green velvety cotton one though ... 😁!!