Help with shapewear

[TeddyOBear]

Hi all, I am really struggling to find some shapewear and need some help.

I am 49, size 10, 34 DD with quite a round tummy (3 babies). Our daughter is getting married and I have a lovely dress, but really need pulling in at the bust and tummy. I haven’t got much confidence at the best of times and just feel really self conscious.

Looking for a body suit, with tummy control and underwired minimiser. Does such a thing exist? There isn’t a budget so any suggestions would be gratefully received. Thank you!!

Optimistic bump

Could you get separates? So a bra minimiser and then shapewear that goes around it? Skims do bodysuits where you can wear your own bra. I've had bodysuits from skims and they're good.

Thanks for this. I have just been looking at Skims, do the offer good control but still feel comfy? Thank you!

A few people have recently replied to a comment of mine on S&B, about minimiser bras, saying to avoid them as they are unflattering & recommending just to get properly measured & buy an excellent uplift bra instead.

Re your question about comfort, I find that the better shapewear is, the less comfy it is!! I've not had the occasion to wear it for some time, so can't recommend anything in particular I'm afraid. But do think that a separate bra (which can be a longer-length bra) & high control knickers would be better than a one-piece.

Hi @TeddyOBear can you post a picture of the dress so we can help find the right shapewear? When you say ‘you need pulling in at the bust’ do you mean the dress is too tight across the bust?

Skims are fab, an absolute devil to get on, but fine once you’re in them. I agree with the advice to avoid a minimiser bra if you are wearing a dress fitted at the bust, with a generous bust they really are not flattering. I’d double check you’re wearing the correct bra size first and then go from there. Rigby and peller is great for this if you’re in or near London.

Thank you both, I will put a picture. I do wear minimisers for certain dresses. This dress is quite snug under the bust. I seem to have an additional roll under my bust as menopause has crept on.

Do skims help with that area? Just second guessing everything and so anxious not to look a frump. It’s been taken up since this photo so to
my ankles. Thank you all

Hi @TeddyOBear a properly fitted bra and a set of skims that reach mid thigh to under the bust will make a massive difference to any ‘rolls’ you have. Lovely dress by the way !

Beautiful dress! Is it vintage?

Have a look for bras that have a deep band below the bust. That, along with high-waisted shapewear as per PPs' recommendations, should do the trick!

Thank you so much, I hadn’t thought about the thigh ones but it makes sense, would feel more comfortable too I think, thank you!!!

Thank you! Hadn’t thought about a thicker band under the bust. I will look into that. I think that will help flatten things ? Thank you both for taking the time to reply and your suggestions, really appreciate it. It’s a vintage design but a new dress if you see what I mean. Thank you!

what a gorgeous dress! I’d go to John Lewis with the dress & shoes and your best fitting bra and get their advice for the most suitable undergarment.

https://www.johnlewis.com/spanx-spanxsculpt-firm-compression-gofigure-open-bust-mid-thigh-bodysuit/chai/p114524344?size=m&tmad=c&tmcampid=7&s_share=jlappios_Y29tLmFwcGxlLlVJS2l0LmFjdGl2aXR5LkNvcHlUb1Bhc3RlYm9hcmQ=

or

https://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-rae-firm-control-slip/black/p4361126?tmad=c&tmcampid=7&s_share=jlappios_Y29tLmFwcGxlLlVJS2l0LmFjdGl2aXR5LkNvcHlUb1Bhc3RlYm9hcmQ=

I think the bras I mean are just called longline bras?

This type of thing? This is a lacy version.

https://www.freyalingerie.com/uk/en/lingerie/bras/longline-bras/sydnie-black-longline-bra/p/aa402820blk/

Ah brilliant, thank you. This never crossed my mind!! Thank you

Yes, I have seen these, but again, never really considered or thought about them. Thank you so much for your help!

Gently are you sure about wearing black to your daughter’s wedding?

I would assume that she might just have mentioned it ...!!!

I wore black (with cream & gold accessories) as bridesmaid to my sister. She helped choose the dress!

Might be midnight blue?

M&S shaping body

I bought this, in nude, for underneath my wedding dress. I have found it really good and very comfortable.

I prefer to be able to wear a bra of my choice as I like some padding.

It looks as if it would do what it needs to - which is all that you want from shapewear. But "sexy" is really pushing it!!!

Oh, I agree wholeheartedly 😂
I didn't buy this with a honeymoon in mind haha

Ah it’s navy but thank you 🙏 the photo is quite dark. In person it’s a lovely shade of navy.

Yes, our daughter asked for me to wear navy and chose the dress with me. I’m not used to wearing anything posh really, and confidence isn’t in my favour. Menopause really does kick you when you’re already down doesn’t it.

Thank you! Good to hear personal experience

🤣 I wonder who came up with the title at M&S

If you’re ok with feeling a bit ‘trussed up’ for the day and can tolerate a boned undergarment, I’d recommend a bustier by Goddess for shape and creating lift when strapless is needed. The sizing is tricky to get right and you will have to get someone to help you get into it. I’m a 32H and wear a 34F in their range as they don’t go small enough on the back. If the bustier creates a ‘ridge’ at the bottom, a pair of shapewear knickers over the top will sort that out. I’ll preface this with saying it isn’t the most comfortable undergarment but you do feel svelte and secure in it. I’ve attached the Debenhams link so you can see how it looks, but other suppliers are available. I’d aim for a 36C if I were you. The cups are quite generous.