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How do I get what I actually ask for at the hairdressers?

15 replies

WalterMittysPuppet · 28/08/2026 21:35

I have been trying to grow out my grey with "grey blending" for several years now - the first attempt 3 years ago was a disaster and I lost 12 inches of hair due to over-processing. I'm having another go since the damage has grown out and I'm 9-10 months in, but I feel like it still looks awful.

Bearing in mind the images won't load immediately while they're waiting for approval, the first two are what I was looking for; the others are my actual hair which is 3 sessions of "grey blending" using high lift, not bleach, approx 10 months after I last had it dyed one colour at a salon. At the last scheduled session 3 months ago I mentioned that I hadn't actually wanted to go lighter all over to disguise the grey (I only have grey at the front and temples, very little anywhere else), I had just wanted to smudge the line as it grew out but otherwise stay dark throughout the rest. I also asked if there was a way to tone down or break up the warm ends. They seemed very sceptical, said a toner to get rid of the yellow/copper tones wouldn't work and there was no point putting any darker sections back in (?), so this is what I'm left with.

I accept that there will be warmth where there was previously salon dye. What I wasn't expecting, was for the rest of my hair to be light - so now I have the opposite problem (dark roots and gold ends) on the rest of my head. How do I ask a stylist to break up the warmth at the ends with some cool/neutral browns but preserve the grown out grey? Without it going wrong again? Surely there's something I can do to get closer to what I wanted, without cutting it all off again?

How do I get what I actually ask for at the hairdressers?
How do I get what I actually ask for at the hairdressers?
How do I get what I actually ask for at the hairdressers?
How do I get what I actually ask for at the hairdressers?
OP posts:
Beebopwasthebest · 28/08/2026 22:35

I had a successful (IMO) grey blend, my ends are a dull gold ..I then have a toner every 6 weeks ..just on the brassy bit....they don't tone the top 2 inches of 100% natural dark and grey.

NaivePrey · 28/08/2026 23:14

You need to go to a specialist grey blending expert as in my experience normal hairdressers unless they do a lot of grey blending don’t know what they are doing. PM if you are near the West Midlands as I found a specialist there who was good and for me added some dark tones back in where my hair had gone orange from a previous grey blending session at my hairdressers who didn’t know what to do. It’s expensive but my hair has now grown out and is all natural and I’m lucky mine looks similar to your picture. I would recommend but she has a few month waiting list!

hattie43 · 28/08/2026 23:16

If you find the answer let me know

OneTake · 28/08/2026 23:40

Do you take a photo to the salon? The issue is that a lot of these images are AI generated and it will never be the same as it's not your hair texture or shade. A photo helps as a guide but a guide is all it can ever be.

GarlicAnything · Yesterday 00:51

Am I being extra thick, or did you actually want your blonde hair dyed dark grey?
That's the only way I can envisage yours being anything like those photos?

WalterMittysPuppet · Yesterday 08:46

Beebopwasthebest · 28/08/2026 22:35

I had a successful (IMO) grey blend, my ends are a dull gold ..I then have a toner every 6 weeks ..just on the brassy bit....they don't tone the top 2 inches of 100% natural dark and grey.

I actually had a consultation at a different salon whilst on holiday this week - they booked me in then cancelled sadly, but this is almost exactly what they suggested at the consultation. They planned on a "reverse balayage" (hand-painting darker strands back through the yellow ends, then toning the bottom sections whilst leaving the virgin regrowth...untouched). I felt like there was hope then but the stylist was sick on the day I was booked in, so back to the drawing board now.

OP posts:
Rocknrollstar · Yesterday 09:01

I only achieved the hair cut I wanted by taking a photo to the salon. I produce it every time I have a haircut. My stylist has an appointment on his phone with a vast array of choices too.

Oliveoy · Yesterday 09:06

OneTake · 28/08/2026 23:40

Do you take a photo to the salon? The issue is that a lot of these images are AI generated and it will never be the same as it's not your hair texture or shade. A photo helps as a guide but a guide is all it can ever be.

Edited

I don't know why people say this. Hair stylists can do all kinds of weird and wonderful things with colour. What does it matter whether a photo is AI or not? Even if the OP were asking for zebra striped rainbow hair, a top colourist would be able to do it.

WalterMittysPuppet · Yesterday 09:06

NaivePrey · 28/08/2026 23:14

You need to go to a specialist grey blending expert as in my experience normal hairdressers unless they do a lot of grey blending don’t know what they are doing. PM if you are near the West Midlands as I found a specialist there who was good and for me added some dark tones back in where my hair had gone orange from a previous grey blending session at my hairdressers who didn’t know what to do. It’s expensive but my hair has now grown out and is all natural and I’m lucky mine looks similar to your picture. I would recommend but she has a few month waiting list!

Sadly I'm East Mids! But yes you're right, some hairdressers say they know what to do (like mine did, rolled her eyes at the over-priced grey blending trend and promptly made all my hair light).

OP posts:
WalterMittysPuppet · Yesterday 09:08

OneTake · 28/08/2026 23:40

Do you take a photo to the salon? The issue is that a lot of these images are AI generated and it will never be the same as it's not your hair texture or shade. A photo helps as a guide but a guide is all it can ever be.

Edited

I took several! Whether AI or not, my request was to maintain my dark hair as much as possible.

OP posts:
WalterMittysPuppet · Yesterday 09:13

GarlicAnything · Yesterday 00:51

Am I being extra thick, or did you actually want your blonde hair dyed dark grey?
That's the only way I can envisage yours being anything like those photos?

No you're not being thick, but my natural hair is not blonde, it's dark as you can see in the pony tail image (and curly in fact, as per this image). It was lightened when I had initial "grey blending", even though the end result I asked for was not to to be blonde.

How do I get what I actually ask for at the hairdressers?
OP posts:
Beebopwasthebest · Yesterday 11:16

WalterMittysPuppet · Yesterday 09:06

Sadly I'm East Mids! But yes you're right, some hairdressers say they know what to do (like mine did, rolled her eyes at the over-priced grey blending trend and promptly made all my hair light).

My grey blend appointment took 9 hours and I had 250 foils in my head. I was her only appointment that day..obviously😂

It was £60 an hour and I don't think "over priced" I saved up!

She then sold me the two toners she recommended with detailed instructions and my normal hair dresser does this for me.

Based in Leeds.

WalterMittysPuppet · Yesterday 16:57

Beebopwasthebest · Yesterday 11:16

My grey blend appointment took 9 hours and I had 250 foils in my head. I was her only appointment that day..obviously😂

It was £60 an hour and I don't think "over priced" I saved up!

She then sold me the two toners she recommended with detailed instructions and my normal hair dresser does this for me.

Based in Leeds.

The appt I had after the 45 minute consultation, I also had an all day session (although she quoted me £250 for that) - that was when my whole head got bleached. 🤦‍♀️

Leeds isn't that far to be honest...

OP posts:
Beebopwasthebest · Yesterday 17:13

WalterMittysPuppet · Yesterday 16:57

The appt I had after the 45 minute consultation, I also had an all day session (although she quoted me £250 for that) - that was when my whole head got bleached. 🤦‍♀️

Leeds isn't that far to be honest...

Well, I can DM her Instagram page if your can't find something closer x

WalterMittysPuppet · Yesterday 22:40

Thanks, yes I'll take a look if you don't mind!

OP posts:
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