Where to try on a glam, flattering full-length mother of the groom dress

[NotAgeingGracefullyThanks]

I'm going to a wedding next year in Canada (mother of the Groom) and utterly hate shopping. My soon to be DIL has given me a really good steer as to what she'd like to see me in (no pressure, but she definitely has a look) and I'd like to wear something she'd like if possible. The dress code is evening gown; full length.

My problem, (apart from hating shopping with a passion) is that she and I are polar physical opposites in every way and hence don't dress alike in style or colours. She is a gorgeous, curvy, pint sized lass, with deep olive skin and I'm a 5'10'' muscled but saggy beanpole, with wide shoulders, narrow hips and can look like a shot putter in the wrong outfit. There's nothing wrong with looking like a shot putter if you want to, but I don't know how to embrace the muscle I have whilst still looking feminine. I have nightmares about the bridesmaid dress I wore at 18...hideous and looked like an 18th century bar wench on steroids.

I do have a 'good' body (gym), esp. for my age, so I'm not too bothered about wearing something that shows the outline of my figure, but with my face (craggy) and hair (white/silver), I'd rather not look like mutton dressed as her mum.

I think that my DIL sees me as someone who can pull off a 'glam puss look', which is incredibly sweet, and the only older, v tall glam puss I can think of is someone like Hannah Waddingham but I DO NOT have the curves she has, nor the face, although I do have the shoulders.

I'm happy to travel to a bridal shop where they have lots of possibles to try on and I've seen the odd one on Azazie and JJs House. I'd really like to be able to try them on though, as although ordering 7 dresses and sending them all back sounds like fun (not!).
I'd prefer to go to one big bridal shop and just get the dress. I also don't usually fit any particular size, as I'm a 12 on top and a 10 on the bottom and the dress waist usually ends up around my nipples due to the length of my torso.

I have month and months to go before I have to buy, so any suggestions? Happy to travel and am Midlands based. Thanks all.

Would you want to cart your dress to Canada ? If your son lives there already could you afford a holiday and go try on there.

What has the bride sent you as guidelines? Could you share them here?

https://dressini.com/mother-of-the-bride

This looks like it has plenty of options

Might be a job for a personal shopper, OP. You don’t need to buy what they suggest but you’d get a good steer on shape, cut and brands. There must be plenty to choose from in Birmingham city centre department stores I would have thought.

My advice is to look for your nearest bridal shop that does mother of bride / groom dresses. Try on to see what suits you, be prepared to have to try size or two up from what you would expect as they always seem to run small. Also be prepared to remortgage your house to afford one ! They will also rent or sell headgear / shoes / bag etc. Some allow photos some don't but if possible take photo and record label detail for size etc, they will also offer fitting to have it made exactly right however unless you are loaded and want it all done there and then go away to “think about it” then look up your choice on vinted. There are numerous chinese based sites often listed on here that do copies of the latest designs from the bridal places, some have shocking reviews, think jjs house is one that might be ok and they will send fabric samples for colour swatching, but if tempted then do due diligence on trustpilot etc. and read all the reviews first. Good luck.

Personal shopper @ John Lewis?

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/monica-lace-midi-dress-blue-20000040003.html

What about something like this?

The detail at the waist will make you look more curvy, and the lace shoulders highlight a body part you seem to like. ☺️

@Lomonald unfortunately not affordable to travel there to buy and with my luck, I'd then find nothing there. My DS lives with us, so a v long distance relationship currently. It's definitely cheaper in Canada, but the travel would eat that and them some.

@omgitchiness she's sent lots of one shoulder styles, in a pale green (which will be hideous against my pale anglo saxon skin. She's happy for me to go a deeper green (thinking emerald) though so will be fine on colour. If not one shoulder, I think she'd rather a strap only, but I'd prefer sleeves. Think satin ball gown (bit skirt) type, or Grecian look.

Thanks for all of the other suggestions and warnings re: checking the reviews. I'm going to look now at the websites suggested and also to try and find a big bridal place near to me. If that doesn't work, personal shopper it is!!

Thanks for this. It needs to be full length unfortunately (which at my height is bloody long) and think less a typical English wedding and more a posh frock Ball. Oh, it also needs to be green, which is a key detail I forgot to tell you!

Is this a new thing, the bride giving rules on what to wear? Your son is going to have his work cut out.

@NotAgeingGracefullyThanks

You could go to Nigel Rayment in London, OP. They have a large range.

If they don't have something to your taste, Selfridges and Harrods are not far from there.

https://www.nigelraymentboutique.co.uk

As we're in the immediate wedding party, so we do need to match. It's an evening wedding, with certain colours chosen, so my DIL is just trying to make sure that I don't turn up in a floral knee length dress with a hat!

As I said in my OP, she's not being pushy at all, but as she's becoming part of the family, I'd like to meet her wishes for the day and not add to her stress levels; already high as her fiancé lives several thousand miles away and can't help all that much.

https://www.nigelraymentboutique.co.uk/search?q=Green

I don’t think steer is that unusual in Canada. There are Canadian/American Facebook groups with a similar vibe.
mother of the bride Birmingham looks like it might have something. Not just a two piece and fascination. And as someone said dressing in Nuneaton.

Would this one work, OP?

https://www.nigelraymentboutique.co.uk/products/john-charles-29378b

Exactly, I'd never have dreamed of telling anyone what to wear!
Unless MOG is now a bridesmaid? They're the only ones who get told what colour to wear usually? I've been to weddings in lots of different places/differentt cultures/religions, and apart from no red/white/black dresses for guests, never seen any rules!

I suppose I can't blame anyone not wanting to upset someone over something that ultimately doesn't matter, and thinking it's not a big deal to buy a green dress, but you're not wrong that someone used to dictating things and getting their own way can be a worry-there's lots of examples of outrageous brides (and sometimes grooms).

@TheSquareMile I was just looking at that one! It's certainly one of the closest to the look she wants and out of the options there. I suspect I'm going to be going to London and Birmingham soon. Thanks so much everyone; you're lifesavers!!

My soon to be DIL has given me a really good steer as to what she'd like to see me in

Well I'd be 'steering' her right back to the fact you're a grown woman and she shouldn't be 'steering' her guests at all.

As long as they're smart it's none of her business what adults choose to wear.

Do you have to wear "Mother of the Bride"? I'd refuse to go if I were told to wear any of these.

Liberty, Harvey Nicks, Net a Porter etc, etc, etc are full of fabulous dresses but these designated M o B /G stuff is awful

Please don't get the wrong impression. My DIL is fab, but it's a huge wedding (hundreds) in North America, where it's common to have a dress code for all guests (e.g. black tie). She and her family are also from another culture, where it's normal to do this too. She won't care at all what the other Brits are wearing, but as immediate family, she'd like us to gel and I'd like to please her on her wedding day; it's not asking much.

@NotAgeingGracefullyThanks

This one's nice, OP.

https://www.nigelraymentboutique.co.uk/products/carla-ruiz-52734-green

Please could everyone stop suggesting that my future DIL is somehow wrong for making sure that I'm not going to look like a tit stood next to her, my DS, my DH her parents and my other children at the wedding. She's utterly lovely and you are clearly trying to read something into this which just isn't there.

I do enjoy the viper pit usually, but a slow worm is what's needed here please...nothing with fangs!

So she's forcing her culture onto you, rather than accepting yours?

I've a feeling this won't stop at telling you what to wear.

There's a long journey ahead.

Backing out of this thread.

I think that first green dress shown is stunning!