I don’t wear any…….

[LaurieFairyCake]

1. Black. Ever. Feel like I’ve time travelled to being a waitress 40 years ago, which I hated.

1. Cold shoulder or no shoulder tops. My frame is tiny, literally 13 inches across the shoulder - still look like a shot putter.

1. Co - ords. Fabulous on everyone else, pyjamas on me.

1. Shorts. Tried every style but basically my legs are the least attractive part of my body so every time I put shorts on I see too much leg and feel self conscious.

1. Knee length dresses. Same reason as shorts, cankles, wobbly calves. Yeurgh.

1. Polyester. Unless there’s some in the gym leggings and I only wear them for an hour. It’s just too warm in London for poly.

you ? (Excuse numbering, on stupid phone if you put in spaces it then gets rid of numbers 🤦‍♀️)

Beige, camel, cream, yellow - all hideous on me.

I don't really sunbathe but have a t shirt "tan" so anything strapless would be disastrous.

Shirts with a shirt collar. Maybe my neck is the wrong length but I feel masculine in them.

Shorts in public in the UK. Feel far more judged here than on holiday. Leg shape is fine but so pasty. And because I never wear them, I feel all exposed when I do put some on.

Never seen a colour season video thing where anyone looks like me so no idea what my season is. Would be useful to know.

Crocs

Flip flops unless I'm on the beach or by the pool on holiday

Trainers unless I'm working out

Leggings unless I'm working out

Stripes

Dungarees

Any form of boots

As is ‘screams grandma’ and ‘grandma vibes’ 😒

How funny! I’d certainly eat them 🤣

Polyester
Heels
Florals
Polka dots

Utterly ridiculous, isn't it. Simplistic nonsense.

Red.

Brown, orange, maroon. Hate the colours.
Heels.
Synthetics if I can possibly avoid them.
Disposable fashion. If I buy it, I wear it until it’s in holes.
Raglan sleeves - hideous
Frills
Shirring - I’m not a toddler
Brown shoes - hate brown leather.

For me it's

1. Crocs
2. Anything floral print - I find most prints frumpy on me
3. Barrel leg jeans/trousers
4. Pleated skirts/dresses
5. Fur

Red, brown, cream or mustard against my face. Just about ok, for bottoms.
I don’t wear any type of polo neck jumpers as they highlight my short neck and jowls.
Peasant dresses or anything with puff sleeves or tiers.
Synthetic shoes or boots (apart from wellies).
Tracksuits
Trainers, unless going to an exercise class.

I don't wear make-up. Can't be bothered with it.

I don't wear:

1. Off the shoulder anything (would drive me mad).
2. Underwired bras (I prefer non-wired).
3. Mini skirts (always been uncomfortable in them).
4. Thongs (would drive me mad).
5. Skinny jeans (I find them hard to get over my ankles and feet).
6. Heeled shoes. I need flat ones for stability and comfort.
7. Crop tops (would drive me mad and I would be constantly trying to pull them down over my midriff).

I do have a couple of dresses which I like and am comfortable in, but they are just below the knee length, certainly not mini.

White
Pale or pastel colours
Grey or grey tones (there might be some exceptional warm shades out there, but I haven't found them)
Navy blue.

Heels
Crocs
Flip flops or sandals with toe post
Pointy toes

Wool (allergic)

Anything with writing or numbers on
T shirts with pictures or slogans
Any visible logo other than a tiny thing somewhere not on the chest

Foundation/rouge/contour/shimmer etc. Eyes & lips only.

Long puffer coats (especially if it's 15 degrees outside and you're only going to the shops or a warm office)

Dungarees or pinafores

Maxi length summer dresses, especially if they drag on the floor. Come now, it's not princess dressing up time. (but I do like an ankle length dress with chunky shoes in winter)

Scarves except with a coat outside.

Ooh I love black! I’m almost funereal in my style choices 😆

Never wear a looooong list of things.

Low waist trousers. I loved a good old pair of Y2K low slung jeans in my youth, but I need something to hold in my c-section overhang these days!

Shorts or above-knee skirts. Just feel self conscious and uncomfortable with too much leg on display.

Anything with a frill. Puff sleeves. Milkmaid necklines. Peter Pan collars. Floral prints. Ditsy prints. Polka dots. Anything fussy and ‘feminine’ in that ballpark. Just feel ridiculous.

Bright colours - red, pink, orange, yellow especially. Deep jewel colours are OK.

Heels. I’m 5’11 anyway…and they’re uncomfortable!

Clumpy boots or shoes of any description. Chunky trainers. I like slim, sleek footwear.

Anything ‘boxy’.

White other than the odd white tee. Too hard to keep clean for us slatterns.

Peplums. They just look absurd on me like a mini tutu.

People always say cold shoulder tops on these kind of threads but I’m sure they were only around for about a year 10 years ago. I quite like them as a style but the one I had, the sleeves underneath the slit fastened with a tie which was really annoying, so it went into the charity bag very quickly .

I won’t wear:

• dungarees
• baggy anything
• anything ultra high waist
• short skirts
• white underwear (neither bra or knix)
• high heels
• wide leg trousers

Most of my wardrobe is black. I completely love it and have no idea what colours I should wear.

Cold shoulder tops? No. They’re a bit girls’ night out in Liverpool c2001.

Co-ords. No. I’m 53. Everyone would laugh.

Shorts. Yes. I have good, slim legs and I wear shorts all the time. I wouldn’t go out in them though.

Knee length dresses are good on me. Midi length is an abomination and makes me look like Miss Trunchbull.

Polyester. No makes me stink. I find its proliferation annoying, and the fact shops etc charge normal or high prices for a cheap
and nasty fabric. Never Fully Dressed for example.

I LOVED the peplum years. Early 2010s. I had a gorgeous COS peplum top. They so suited my figure.

Peplum anything.
Pastel colours

Me too!
I looked great in a peplum!

I won’t wear anything that is even remotely uncomfortable or restrictive. Absolutely not.

Jump suits
Above knee dresses
Crop tops
Shorts
Stilettos

Jorts!

Why would I want to walk round like an extra from It Ain't Half Hot Mum

Any kind of puffed or built up sleeve
High crew necks
heels
mini skirts
plunge, or unwired bras
washing up gloves
tiered dresses
empire line
florals
cheap polyester
Acrylic jumpers
Dayglo
dungarees
rings
thongs

Red - I look awful in it

Jogging bottoms - I hate them

Polo shirts - big boobs and muscular shoulders

Heels - used to love them, now terrified of them after six months of hell with plantar fasciitis a few years ago

Watches - never seen a single watch that I have liked