5 foot, overweight, no idea how to dress

[Sendhelpplz55]

Hi everyone I am hoping a few people can help, I am absolutely lost in what way to dress. I have no confidence at all at the moment and just have no sense of style. My go to is jeans and a band tshirt or if "dressing up" its jeans, a loose top and a long cardigan.
I am in my 30's, I am very short (5ft) and overweight at a size 16-18. I have really short big legs and I hate my arms so arms out is a no go.

I am not a flowery/colourful clothing lover, i tend to wear black not because its "slimming" but because I am just not a flowery/pattern/colourful type of person.

I have a really special night out coming up and I would love to look nice/slightly sexy but not over the top, Ive been looking on next etc to see about a nice top but everything has arms out and I dont know what to pair with tops like this that isn't a longline cardigan?
If anyone can help I would be so greatful, I carry my weight all over but my legs and arms are by far the worst. Im just totally lost, i look after my hair and am good with makeup its just my style I can't seem to get right.
Thank you

I'm about your height and size, though a bit older. What is your body shape like? More pear, apple, hourglass? I'm busty and short waisted so what looks fine on some looks daft on me, but I look good in tops and dresses with v or scoop necks, half or 3/4 or floaty sleeves - my upper arms are my nemesis. A dress or top with a half sleeve bolero could work, I often do that if wearing a sleeveless garment.

What part of your body is your best feature. Maybe we could find something to show it off.

Without knowing more I automatically picture you in a Boho blouse like this, but maybe in a plain colour.

https://wilson-and-carter.com/products/verena-shirt?variant=63316703347057

Like this but the blue one

https://wilson-and-carter.com/products/orlinda-blouse?variant=63582479384945&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23791567662&gbraid=0AAAABDPgsPhNgT-oF7CcN5nczpjEHw4dy&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3qLSBhDaARIsAFTiVh5JOuXiA-CE1tByC7969d1_bbraB-NlFBSYMdC8shOZSJNRCctqcYgaAhK7EALw_wcB

My upper arms are my nemesis too. Im a strange shape because Im overweight all over but my lower body is probably the worst so I guess Im more pear shaped...but my upper arms are extremely large, I wonder if its lipedema in my legs and arms as it meets all of the symptoms of it.

I dont feel I have one sadly. I have a small waist but the bottom of my tummy is very large so I dont think there's much I can do for my waist without drawing attention to my lower tummy

I'd steer clear of Wilson & Carter, looks like the "English" name is a front https://uk.trustpilot.com/review/wilson-and-carter.com and the items aren't very clear on what the material is.

Ah ok fair enough.

Cotton Traders but the blue one

https://www.cottontraders.com/women/shirts-and-blouses/lace-crinkle-trim-tunic/AB12848DuskyBlush.html?dwvar_AB12848DuskyBlush_color=Dusky%20Blush&cgid=womens-shirts-blouses#cgid=womens-shirts-blouses&start=5&list=product%20list&p=4

I’d steer clear of loose baggy tops and go for, say, a wrap top which ends at your waist with a midi skirt or wide leg floaty trousers. Both in a plain colour.

Or…. Something like this dress perhaps?

https://www.next.co.uk/style/sv056132/h09623

Thank you all. Great ideas there to take on board.

I hate my upper arms. 3/4 length sleeves look good but you need to balance them out by having a lower cut neckline, otherwise you end up looking like a mattress.

Giving yourself a waist is important, so wrap dresses, belts etc.

As someone short I find trousers better than dresses. I would wear trousers and a vest top with a contrasting belt to exaggerate the waist and a kimono style over the top. Like those

That’s a lovely outfit.

As someone who also has upper arm nemises I remember when I was wedding dress shopping that they told me that an arm is just an arm whether it's covered in lace or not. Basically you can't actually hide body parts as they end up looking like body part being hidden . It looks better for someone to embrace their size/shape instead of trying to hide it behind clothes or sleeves which ultimately makes people look and make assumption.

I was just about to post exactly the same comment! The only address given is a business address in the US, and there is no way of contacting them except by email. I suppose the huge background picture of Tower Bridge is meant to make you think they're London based 🙄

What about a dress? What's your budget, what kind of footwear do you already have, what is your colouring, & what colours (apart from black!) do you like & suit?

I like the proportions of the outfit that @Pieceofpurplesky just posted. It lengthens the wearer.

I am a touch taller but sound a similar shape. I am smaller now but I was a similar size for years. My best going out type outfits used to be proper wide legged trousers (palazzo really) and either a wrap or a peplum style top - basically something that came in at the waist then flared out over the tummy.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/sv084510/g29745

possibly something like this?

This is lovely!! 100% something I could see myself wearing. Thank you!!

Very valid point and very true! I wish I could have the confidence to show my arms and not care, its just mindset I guess.

Yeah I would go for a dress, I was hoping to find maybe a black wrap dress or similar but I dont know if that would suit me. I am very fair in every way, I am naturally blonde so have very light blonde hair, very pale skin. I can stretch the budget for the right outfit to be honest as I havent bought myself any new clothes in a long time. Ive been told before that deep pink suits me when I wore a pink top before but not sure if that was just because my co-workers are not used to seeing me in anything but black so anything else caught their eye 😂

I’m 5’2” 16/18 and 20 years older than you. I hate my arms too.

these are some images of my outfit choices recently. I’ve started to embrace tucking shirts into jeans and accessorising with nice belts. I’ve also started wearing belts on dresses more. Always always wear my chub rubs under dresses.

Like you I’m fair and blonde. I’ve been more brave adding accessories which I think definitely helps make a look.

All my jeans and trousers are from Halara, I love how lightweight and comfortable they are as I get very bloated. Delivery isn’t quick though.

the first 3 outfits I’ve bought and worn all from Matalan and the jeans & blouse was a shot I got off the internet but regularly dress like this.

Milkmaid dresses? I'm 5ft 1 and around a 14 and they make me feel really confident. Also have the same colouring as you. I've had a couple from Cider which probably aren't the best quality but they really work with curves, have sleeves and you can tighten/loosen the 'tie' to suit your figure and to dress them up/down or add/cover up cleavage.

I have a hang up about my arms too but someone told me that often when we're in pictures, we tend to hold them close to our sides which kind of makes them appear bigger and I've found that's help me feel a little bit better about them.

I also recently wore this dress to a concert and had loads of compliments in it (I did have to wear a cami underneath, but wore a black one and black boots so it all tied in together) It skims over the tummy area and you could add a belt if you wanted to create more of a waist.

I hope you find something and have a lovely time.

www.asos.com/prd/209758984?acquisitionsource=pasteboard

OP you are short like me but sounds like you have a lovely curvy shape with a small waist and then wider hips and thighs. What about high waisted flowy wide leg trousers? They will skim your shape and give the illusion of a longer vertical line. Try to get flat front instead of pleated trousers as you are pear shaped. With a wrap top with sleeves cut on an angle to flatter your upper arms, it will highlight your waist and show off your curves. Perhaps navy silk will be nice as you mentioned you are pale and blonde so black may be a bit harsh.