5 foot, overweight, no idea how to dress

[Sendhelpplz55]

Hi everyone I am hoping a few people can help, I am absolutely lost in what way to dress. I have no confidence at all at the moment and just have no sense of style. My go to is jeans and a band tshirt or if "dressing up" its jeans, a loose top and a long cardigan.
I am in my 30's, I am very short (5ft) and overweight at a size 16-18. I have really short big legs and I hate my arms so arms out is a no go.

I am not a flowery/colourful clothing lover, i tend to wear black not because its "slimming" but because I am just not a flowery/pattern/colourful type of person.

I have a really special night out coming up and I would love to look nice/slightly sexy but not over the top, Ive been looking on next etc to see about a nice top but everything has arms out and I dont know what to pair with tops like this that isn't a longline cardigan?
If anyone can help I would be so greatful, I carry my weight all over but my legs and arms are by far the worst. Im just totally lost, i look after my hair and am good with makeup its just my style I can't seem to get right.
Thank you

What a lovely outfit where is it from please?

OP I’m an 18 but 5ft 4. If not in jeans i like to wear black vest top cropped trousers or leggings and a kimono style top so very similar to the above. It means I’m covered where I need to be but feel comfortable as I’m in black but I add the colour from the kimono or wrap and some earrings so I’m smarter than other days.

Like this op but imagine it in our clothes size

https://www.wallis.co.uk/product/wallis-floral-devore-kimono_byy04511?colour=black

https://liveunlimitedlondon.com/products/black-devore-longline-fringe-kimono

I’m five foot with Lipoedema and was size 18-20 until Mounjaro got me down to a 12. Still cover upper arms and legs down to ankle though.

My friend was good quality black jersey material, floaty viscose and slightly hippyish but smart stuff from Forgotten Tribes, especially their harem pants. I liked wide necks or v necks and chunky/interesting jewellery. I loved maxi dresses with long or 3/4 sleeves and because I still had a waist, I used one of those enormously wide corset-like belts from AllSaints to cinch it in.

It’s miserable isn’t it? ‘Normal’ fat women can wear leggings and a floaty/tunic top and look nice, but we have to really work hard to make sure the cankles and batwings are covered. I’m currently on holiday and you can see the bones on my chest now, but swimming costume wearing is still totally unforgiving.

I’m your height and often wear the same colour from neckline to hemline as I feel it makes me look taller.

Ive lost half my body weighg on mounjaro OP and shen I was big I found layering always worked for me. Light layers are always more flattering than a plain dress or trousers and a top. They dont have to be baggy.
I recently bought this poncho (summer weight) and it looks great over a long sleeved T and a pair of smart trousers.
I like bright colours and it comes in red also.

https://covecashmere.co.uk/products/flora-cream-reversible-poncho

I also have a local lady who alters clothes for me as everything is always too long. Shd doesnt charge much for simple alterations.

I think a block colour that isn’t black would be the way to go. This dress would be lovely with your fair hair, is available in petite (also in black) and with a cropped jacket could look great.
https://www.next.co.uk/style/su911512/g95960

I googled as I couldn't find something similar!
A poster after me has posted a similar style kimono - I have several from all
over - Next/Yours/Monsoon

Did you know you were recommending a scam company

Same scam company

Ok - it might be useful/helpful to you (if you fancy venturing away from black a bit!) to try & work out what colours suit you best. Without knowing your skin tone/eye colour/whether you tan easily or not etc, it's not quite as straightforward as being very fair. You're probably a light spring or summer, but the former is warmer-toned & the latter cooler.

I know lots of people on here have had their colours "done" for them. I've never done that, but I do have design background & figured what colours/tones etc suited me a long time ago. I believe you can analyse your own online - worth a go?!!

By the way OP, is your special night out something fairly casual, ie a relaxed dinner & some bars - or something a little smarter/more formal than that?

Or is it the kind of thing that anything from jeans with a nice top, through to a dress & heels, would do - & you don't mind which as long as you feel & look good?!

Sticking with your favourite black, OP, how about this dress? Comes in 16/18 & short/petite/regular. The shape should be pretty good on you, & the little white & sage green flowers make it a little bit more summery?

https://www.marksandspencer.com/floral-embroidery-shirred-midi-skater-dress/p/clp23055528?color=BlackMix&intid=mobileapppdpshare

With some heeled sandals - if you're fine with a heel? And a little raffia clutch? The model is very blonde & fair btw, & looks great in black ...!

https://penelopechilvers.com/products/minnie-velvet-sandal-black

If you want to go with a top, Rixo has some rather pretty long-sleeved ones ... pricey, but you could economise by pairing with these M&S satin trousers? And dressing in one colour helps elongate (plus heels!).

Instead of denim jeans, you could try an indigo denim midi skirt perhaps? Or dark navy cotton perhaps. There are loads around, & denim can be great at smoothing & holding in squidgy bits. Some of them are quite full & flouncy though - one with part elastication/pleats/less fullness at the top could work well though?

Something fitted like this shirt with this gathered poplin skirt could work? Simple & summery, maybe with heeled mules?

One thing with tops that aren't petite, like this shirt - having them taken up by just an inch or two might make all the difference in getting the right proportions - it's worth playing around with how things would look a little shorter, when you're trying them on.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/denim-striped-wrap-shirt/p/clp61226222?color=BlueDenim&intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

https://www.marksandspencer.com/pure-cotton-midi-a-line-skirt/p/clp23068026?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share&color=Navy

Thank you! And wow, that is amazing, can I ask if the mounjaro helped with the lipodema? I only realised recently that this is likely what I have. I remember gaining weight on my legs and arms out of nowhere in my early 20's, hadnt changed diet or exercise at all but my legs and arms were ballooning all of the time. Then life stresses and trauma took its toll on me and I began gaining weight all over due to poor diet so things just escalated from there I suppose but my arms and legs are still my biggest problem areas by far.

Thank you so much for the tips and I am sure you look fabulous on holiday, that weightloss is amazing xx

Its not very casual, it is a dinner and drinks but in a very nice restaurant, but jeans and a nice top would be perfect too, once its something smart really I think it would be fine.

Thank you so much everyone. There are some absolutely stunning ideas and options and wonderful advice on here, which I will be taking on board! Thank you so much this has been so helpful x

Suggest you buy petite size as otherwise the proportions are all wrong. Try an online order from Next and try different things on (return what doesn't suit you). Avoid large patterns and black. Matalan also do things in petite and I've bought some nice trousers from there. Check out the.petite.lady on Instagram who wears petite confidently.

How about this OP? V flattering - comes in a few more colour options

I would watch someone like Melissa murrell - she does YouTube videos aimed at dressing all body types. She emphasises putting yourself back into an hourglass shape which usually involves broadening the shoulders and balancing the hips which then emphasises the small waist that you
already have.

if you need a few ideas look at Judi Prue's Facebook as she is a plus size stylist and the way she styles clothes is wonderful. She works for a company House of colour.

shops to consider M&S, Yours clothing ,Matalan Simply Be website and quite often I use Vinted, eBay and I tend to look for Ullapopken and MarinaRinaldi clothing. I found their shop 20 years ago in Berlin. Clothes last well. I also do very well from charity shops. Some of MR's styles are actually not so good! That is why I get them from Vinted .Ullapopken have a website set up for British buyers as they put their prices in sterling. Cotton traders are a useful company. I recently got a bright green Joanna Hope trench coat from a charity shop for a fiver and have got a lot of compliments each time I wear it.

Mounjararo had certainly helped with the pain and additional swelling, especially in the heat. I no longer dread my legs blowing up like balloons in summer. Yes, legs have got much smaller (and feel ‘floppy’ not tight, red and about to explode) and I look good in clothes now, but the reality is that I still have obvious ankle cuffs, knee overhangs, saddlebags and lots of lumps and bumps where the fat is fibrotic, and they are still stubbornly column shaped. 😢 I’ve just bought some 90s style Levi’s, which would never have worn before though.

On the positive side, cropped wide legged trousers fit perfectly as full length, and midi dresses fit as maxi, so relatively easy to hide.

I’m hoping to have surgery in the next few years, before turning 50, but wish I’d been in a position to do so in my 30s, as soon as I’d finished having children and lost the baby weight. My poor little younger DD is going through puberty and it’s clear as day that she has it, so I’m going to make sure there is money available for her to get her surgery when the time comes.