Another ‘is this too white’ one…!

[Sandysandybeaches]

I’ve got it already - just arrived and fits a treat, I really like it! It’s a very pale blue but in dimmer light looks white, is it too white? I didn’t think so at first but now worrying it’s a bit little girl bridesmaidy. I would probably wear it with a navy jacket or cardigan but if v hot would like to be able to wear it as is. It also comes in navy with white spots which is a bit boring, but maybe more sensible?

All this, ‘Oh it’s too white/pale for a wedding’ is absolute bollocks.
There is no way on this earth that you’ll be mixed up or compared to the bride.
Some people on MN are absolutely batshit and I’m sure (well I hope) they wouldn’t say these sorts of things, or think them in real life.
Total parallel universe to the one I live in.
Go for it OP. I’d hazard a guess that the bride will most probably be in a long white/ivory dress complete with a veil et al. Your dress looks lovely.

I think that we can probably all agree that this MIL's dress is NOT ok ...!!! (I wonder if the couple is still married, or whether he's back living with his mother ...)

Unquestionably, absolutely fine.

Will you get mistaken for a bride, no way!

Very classy

Firstly, look at this formal group photo of Meghan’s wedding and try and tell me that the key family members’ colour scheme wasn’t carefully co-ordinated by the bride. It’s so very harmonious and has the only strong colours being the green backdrop wallpaper and the mens’ suits while everything else tones beautifully - with the Queen in the brightest pastel shade - that it clearly was intentional.

Secondly, have a look at this photo of some of the guests at Kate and William’s wedding and see how many women are wearing all white/long white coats/pale blush/pale grey.

Very pretty, not too white.

Of course it's too pale for a wedding guest, and if you have to ask, then you know it is.

If "all the other guest" are wondering "who you think you are" then they're not very nice people to begin with. Who would want to spend time with people who are so judgemental?

Especially as it's nothing like a wedding dress, due to polka dots, so they'd have to be extremely judgemental to really pick that out. Which are not the type of people you want to try and please, because you'll never succeed, they'll always have something to say even if you showed them the most perfect outfit in the world..

The only thing that matters is the bride and grooms opinion.

Ha! That one is definitely white-ish!!

I think it will look white at the night do

Great dress. It's blue. It's very guest appropriate.

(Usually these threads are : Is my low cut, long, strapless, white dress OK to wear to a wedding where I'm not actually the woman getting married?)

So you're grand.

Because it’s blue!

Not getting anyone confused with the bride but for goodness sake, there are endless colours available for wedding guest dresses, why would you want to risk it? It’s ridiculous.

And yes, I would think that someone wearing a dress that apprently looks white in real life to a wedding was a twat. Why would you do that?

I would say a general rule of thumb is that if you have to ask, don’t wear it.

But ... it's blue. Not "apparently white". Blue - & very clearly so?

And as for "if you have to ask, it's a no" - I think the primary reason why women are doubting their own eyesight is the daftness of threads like these!

The OP said her daughter thought it looked white IRL

It's got polka dots on. Even if the blue looks looks white it was a pattern. Claiming that dresses like this look like they are trying to compete with the bride just makes the bride sound ridiculous. Not the guest.

I don’t think she is trying to compete with the bride but why bother wearing something you’re not sure about when there are so many options?

I don't think she is going to now which is a shame. It's a nice dress.

Point being there was no need for her to be unsure about it or question it in the first place. If this nonsense that "white" actually means "anything slightly close to white if you squint a bit, even with a pattern" hadn't taken hold online OP wouldn't have been given the idea it was problematic in the first place. Because it isn't.

Does anybody outside Mumsnet ever have conversations like this about dress colours?

I agree re “…there was no need for her to be unsure about it or question it in the first place………this nonsense that “white” actually means “ anything slightly close to white if you squint a bit, even with a pattern”……….”
Bonkers 🙄
If it’s not white, cream or ivory, you’re grand - good to go.

It is a shame. The OP really liked the dress - & it's not always easy to find something you love, IMO.

Yet all this ridiculous, seemingly wilful misinterpretation of etiquette has caused her to doubt herself so much she's not going to wear it. Even in the (very positive) reviews of the dress, several people said they wore it to weddings & felt great in it.

It's madness! Don't doubt yourself OP - go find some bright accessories for your dress & wear it!!

Absolutely loads! Just remember, no white, cream or ivory. No spots, patterns or florals on a white, cream or ivory ground. No pastels, just in case someone thinks it’s white, cream or ivory. No spots, patterns or florals on a pastel ground, just in case someone thinks the pastel is white cream or ivory. No black, it implies disapproval. No red, it means you shagged the groom. No green, it’s unlucky. Other than that just wear anything, it’s easy!

Also nothing too bright because you will look like you are trying to take attention from the bride. So not too pale but not too bright. Still easy of course.

And don't forget to scrutinise the invitation for any hints of what colour the bridesmaids are wearing in case you pick anything that's even slightly close to that because everyone will think you are trying to be in the wedding party.

Agree @PinkTonic @DappledThings Precious people will always find something petty to froth about. When I got married 25 years ago, none of my friends and I behaved like this. We just wanted the guests we loved to come to our wedding. No dress code, we couldn’t care less and the photos were natural and brilliant. It’s just all so affected and over-thought nowadays.

I can see lots of MN brides-to-be thinking "perfect advice - I'll just print that on the back of my wedding invitations"!!