Another ‘is this too white’ one…!

[Sandysandybeaches]

I’ve got it already - just arrived and fits a treat, I really like it! It’s a very pale blue but in dimmer light looks white, is it too white? I didn’t think so at first but now worrying it’s a bit little girl bridesmaidy. I would probably wear it with a navy jacket or cardigan but if v hot would like to be able to wear it as is. It also comes in navy with white spots which is a bit boring, but maybe more sensible?

Pale yellow or pale blue or white with a pattern = white is very much not a fact! It is clearly a matter of opinion that not white is the same as white. Quite a peverse one.

The dress is not white anyway, it is pale blue with navy. I think S+B gurus get a kick out of ridiculous comments sometimes.

I would agree with you if the dress was white. It isn't.

I'm well aware of the etiquette, as I'm sure are many of the posters disagreeing with you. I would say that, of the very many weddings I've attended over the last forty years, 95% have been traditional - but no one would have raised an eyebrow at this dress, including my (stickler for rules/etiquette) 97-year-old grandmother.

The issue isn't that someone is insisting on wearing white to a wedding. The issue is that this has become corrupted to the point of lunacy ...

From roughly the mid-19thC onwards (after Queen Victoria's then-novel choice of a white wedding dress became increasingly popularised) it gradually became bad manners to wear a long white bridal-looking dress to a wedding. It was seen as a deliberate attention-seeking choice that drew attention away from the bride. And I don't think anyone disagrees with that?

However, this rule has, of late, become so bastardised in meaning that some now extend it to anything pale/pastel - dresses that are not white or long or bridal-looking. And if it's supposedly about dresses looking pale in photos & therefore somehow distracting from the bride - why are bright orange mini-dresses or plunging necklines or dresses so tight you can see the wearer's thong line all seemingly ok?

It's bizarre & so very controlling (of women by other women).

I can imagine if paired with a coloured jacket, it would work fine - but if your DD thinks it looks too white in person, then I'd probably give it a swerve just in case. The pink is lovely too though!

I think it's fine, and lovely.
I wouldn't think anything of it if someone wore that to my wedding.
It's spotty! It's nothing like a wedding dress!

Question for people who have firm views about wedding guest dresses being to light/white: Did you think the Princess of Wales's outfit at Peter Phillips' wedding at the weekend was too white-adjacent?

And ditto her outfit at Harry and Megan's wedding.

I can imagine someone posting that on here and asking if it's too while and being shot down in flames.

I really don’t understand why you think you’re right and so insistent. You only have to look at weddings of people who absolutely know what is and isn’t appropriate to wear for any occasion to see that it isn’t a thing. Honestly you’re starting to sound like a pantomime character.

It’s absolutely fine. It’s fine to wear pale colours to a wedding, pretty normal for Summery dresses. It’s only a no to an entirely white or pale cream very bridal looking outfit. Or all black.

It really looks white on my screen. I definitely wouldn’t wear it to a wedding.

Whatever one thinks of the Royal Family one might think the one useful purpose they serve is providing guidance on how to dress at formal events in the UK.

Clearly pale colours are fine [and clearly with reference to another thread they understand that black tie is evening wear given no daytime Royal wedding has been black tie, despite the strenuous attempts by some posters to convince that black tie at 2 in the afternoon doesn't look ridiculous]

I have honestly never heard of this obsession anywhere other than MN.

It's a lovely dress OP.

Yes, agree.

all the other guests who will wonder who you think you are.

I am so glad that I don’t have uptight people like this in my life! It’s just so petty and ridiculous. Going to a happy occasion and sitting there judging and bitching about a blue dress. Are you really getting someone dressed in this confused with the bride?! if so, I don’t think you should be at the wedding!

Is the reason that everyone is so comfortable wearing white/white-like colours because royals do it?

There’s a chance, however slim, that wearing something that photographs as white might upset or even slightly irk a bride. To me, the polite thing to do is to avoid that colour, since there are so many options to choose from.

It seems a very simple act of kindness. If the bride wouldn’t have minded, oh well. If the bride would have minded, you have spared her unnecessary negative feelings on her wedding day.

It seems weird to me to invoke the royals here when I think the argument is more about basic politeness not about royal protocol, which I’m sure follows slightly different rules.

I don't think it is too white and the style is definitely not bridal. Blue accessories will pull out the blue in the dress.

There's a broader basic politeness in not trying to make guests at any event feel uncomfortable because a few random people have decided pale blue is the same as white.

Telling people their choices are limited because a bride might hypothetically also be colour blind and think yellow is white isn't being polite to anyone.

Live and let live. Don't stress about what you're wearing. Go to the wedding and enjoy yourself. Enjoy people coming to celebrate your wedding without ascribing bizarre motive to their clothing.

Is it too white? No it's blue. Is it too bridal? No, it's just a dress. It is a ridiculous post. 🙄

The facts remain; this is a thing, like it or not. Adhere to it or don't, but it remains a thing, a longstanding thing.

I can't understand the insistence of this poster that they are right.

Fine, we get it, it's how you feel, but this thread is on S&B. It's not one of those Politics threads where a poster has a grudge with another and stalks them across multiple threads to continue arguing.

Oh the irony - the royals originally set the white wedding dress etiquette!! So if anyone is to be followed in such matters, it's those absolute sticklers for etiquette ...!!

The requirement not to wear your best long embellished white dress to a wedding became standard etiquette after Queen Victoria's wedding.

They are still setting the etiquette by demonstrating that pale/pastel outfits - that look nothing like a white wedding dress - are absolutely fine!

Just what I was going to say!

It’s a lovely dress and I’d absolutely wear it to a wedding!

I see what you’re saying, but I don’t necessarily agree. I’m aware that wearing white to a wedding came from royalty, but I’m not sure it follows that 200 years later all etiquette must still be driven by the institution.

Even if it did, I think politeness and etiquette are related but slightly different. It’s polite to do something to avoid ill-feeling for others, and if it doesn’t meaningfully infringe on my ability live my life, I’ll try to do it. If not wearing white-ish things IS a big challenge for people, then of course they choose to risk it and that’s fine. I don’t think conscientious of others is a major societal imposition as another poster seemed to suggest.

I think it’s fine that we don’t agree. Luckily this isn’t life or death, it’s just very slightly different opinions about whether wearing white-ish clothes to a wedding may be slightly rude…or not.

I don’t think conscientious of others is a major societal imposition as another poster seemed to suggest.
I don't either. Which is why I think everyone should be conscious of not stressing people out by telling them their clothes are even potentially offensive and not perpetuating the daftness that claims yellow = white.

I think it is fine. It isn't a bride-ish length which also helps.

I don't think etiquette should be driven by the Royals (& I am not a fan of the institution btw, being left & green in my politics). But whether we like it or not, people DO look to them to set the standards. They are much more conventional in their attire than the general population, at all events - from visits to schools to army parades to weddings.

Thank you though, for a courteous "agree to disagree" response. I think what we differ on primarily is our opinion of what is "white-ish"!!!