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Please help dress a frump I for a wedding with a colourful cocktail dress code 🙏

152 replies

Connachtfive · 09/06/2026 14:43

Hello you lovely stylish people.
Im the frumpy aunt. I want to be the stylish aunt. Please help. I’m 60. 5ft 4inches. In reasonable shape. I’ve no idea where to start with the colourful cocktail dress code. The wedding is in London in August. Budget up to £300. I’ve been procrastinating so any ideas, styles and tips very gratefully received.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
60
PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 10/06/2026 08:57

Is it a day wedding? Evening do? Both? If it’s both, can you get changed or will the outfit transition?

professionalcommentreader · 10/06/2026 09:06

@Connachtfive the Boden one posted above is fun for a summer London wedding

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 10/06/2026 10:25

@Soonbbbqweather Cocktail no longer means shorter - just shorter than full length! Not above the knee anyway. Very few dresses are shorter now - they are mostly midi. I see shorter ones have been posted but I’d never ever wear any of them and harp back to the 60s. I don’t know anyone my age who would. The main element is to have the dress embellished by using an evening type fabric or adding beads and decoration. Midi for the middle aged though!

Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 12:00

Thank you all so much for your advice. I’m feeling rather overwhelmed 😬🫣😵‍💫 I really want be stylish and comfortable. I guess I’m going to have to stop procrastinating and get trying on.

OP posts:
BlanklyMyDear · 10/06/2026 12:03

It would be nice to know which dresses appeal to you from those linked …

Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 12:19

BlanklyMyDear · 10/06/2026 12:03

It would be nice to know which dresses appeal to you from those linked …

I really liked the Me&Em dress I commented about. I think it would swamp me though.

OP posts:
Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 12:20

I’m not sure about this one:

I found this at John Lewis & Partners. What do you think?
https://www.johnlewis.com/reiss-wrenley-drape-mini-dress-olive-green/p115198817?tmad=c&tmcampid=7&s_share=jlappios_Y29tLmFwcGxlLlVJS2l0LmFjdGl2aXR5LkNvcHlUb1Bhc3RlYm9hcmQ=

OP posts:
Hephebe · 10/06/2026 12:27

Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 12:20

That colour would be sludgy on me I'm afraid but maybe worth a try! Tbh, having a try-on session with 5/6 outfits is probably a good starting point, and it's easy enough to do it from JL.

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 13:37

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 10/06/2026 10:25

@Soonbbbqweather Cocktail no longer means shorter - just shorter than full length! Not above the knee anyway. Very few dresses are shorter now - they are mostly midi. I see shorter ones have been posted but I’d never ever wear any of them and harp back to the 60s. I don’t know anyone my age who would. The main element is to have the dress embellished by using an evening type fabric or adding beads and decoration. Midi for the middle aged though!

Edited

60s style dresses - including A-line tunics with flared sleeves - have been re-appearing of late. Vogue did an article on them - Alemais in particular has lots of bright short tunic dresses.

The OP also said that she had good legs - & at 5' 4" she's probably 6 inches shortly than the models above. So they'll be around her knee & hardly scandalous?!

I'm almost her age, & am tall with long slim legs. I would absolutely wear that style.

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 13:39

Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 12:19

I really liked the Me&Em dress I commented about. I think it would swamp me though.

Do you want full-length though? As both it & the Jigsaw one you liked would be very long on you - & whether you consider cocktail dresses to be short or midi, the code generally excludes anything that long?

Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 13:43

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 13:39

Do you want full-length though? As both it & the Jigsaw one you liked would be very long on you - & whether you consider cocktail dresses to be short or midi, the code generally excludes anything that long?

Ideally I’d like something knee length.

OP posts:
professionalcommentreader · 10/06/2026 13:47

Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 12:20

That’s really nice!

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 13:49

Soonbbbqweather · 10/06/2026 04:46

Cocktail wear is shorter length and often very glam - think beaded, sequins, feathers, silk fabric. Some of these dresses are not cocktail wear they are more day dresses. Adrianna Papell at John Lewis do a petite range and should have some cocktail dresses. Also within budget. There are lots on there that would be suitable including a knee length beaded green dress labeled cocktail dress which should give you more of an idea. Even the standard fit dresses can fit shorter people by having the length trimmed.

I am a year younger than the OP & wouldn't wear very much at all from Adriana Papell, or Phase 8/Hobbs/the usual default wedding guest places that are so often recommended. There are a few pieces on there that are exceptions, but IMO I generally find them very conventional/classic & while you may look "well-dressed" in their clothes, they're not especially stylish.

I do think that it's perfectly possible, with a bit of hunting around, to find something appropriate for the OP that is also up-to-date - which is I think what she wants?

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 13:50

Soonbbbqweather · 10/06/2026 04:46

Cocktail wear is shorter length and often very glam - think beaded, sequins, feathers, silk fabric. Some of these dresses are not cocktail wear they are more day dresses. Adrianna Papell at John Lewis do a petite range and should have some cocktail dresses. Also within budget. There are lots on there that would be suitable including a knee length beaded green dress labeled cocktail dress which should give you more of an idea. Even the standard fit dresses can fit shorter people by having the length trimmed.

With something like the bright coral broderie anglaise dress, I would style it up with costume jewellery - including some fabulous vintage "cocktail rings". For earrings, Oscar de la Renta or Zara (both from eBay) do some suitably OTT ones. Plus equally glitzy footwear & bag.

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 14:40

So, for instance, something like this would make it suitably "cocktail dress at a wedding", IMO - & the dress can be worn again more casually afterwards.

Please help dress a frump I for a wedding with a colourful cocktail dress code 🙏
Please help dress a frump I for a wedding with a colourful cocktail dress code 🙏
Please help dress a frump I for a wedding with a colourful cocktail dress code 🙏
Please help dress a frump I for a wedding with a colourful cocktail dress code 🙏
Please help dress a frump I for a wedding with a colourful cocktail dress code 🙏
Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 14:44

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 14:40

So, for instance, something like this would make it suitably "cocktail dress at a wedding", IMO - & the dress can be worn again more casually afterwards.

🙏 That’s amazing. Never in a million years would I have the creativity or flair to put this look together. Thank you. Where is it all from?

OP posts:
Jamlighter · 10/06/2026 14:46

Ralph Lauren £143 in sale

Jamlighter · 10/06/2026 14:48

whoops red Ralph Lauren knee length cocktail dress with cape - can't post image sorry

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 14:53

Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 13:43

Ideally I’d like something knee length.

Ok. The Reiss dress you've just posted is very nice, & you would certainly look like a stylish aunt. However, even though it's probably a good colour for you, I do think it's on the sludgier side of the green spectrum. If it was satin or silk, it would be better, but I would say it's rather a muted dull green & not "colourful" by most standards. Nor, as it's not in a luxury/embellished fabric, is it "cocktail".

Also, although it wouldn't be as short on you (the model is 5' 10"), the tie detail at the back reaches almost to her ankles. I think it might look a bit silly on you if it's touching the floor??

I have a feeling that you have a preference for plain muted things in general (as so far the dresses you've liked best have been a long beige/brown crochet one, a long plain gold one, & a short plain sludge-green one!!!)?? Is your preference for a plainer dress that you accessorise to dress it up? You said you dislike patterns - what about beading/sequins/embroidery? As it's generally either those sorts of details, or a more glamorous fabric like velvet or satin/silk/gauze/tulle etc, or both fabric AND embellishments, that make the outfit appropriate for such a code?

I know that pink won't be your colour, but to give an example of a plain dress also by Reiss that I think could be made to work by virtue of it being colourful, with glam accessories, it's this very similar one?

Please help dress a frump I for a wedding with a colourful cocktail dress code 🙏
Please help dress a frump I for a wedding with a colourful cocktail dress code 🙏
EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 15:02

Connachtfive · 10/06/2026 14:44

🙏 That’s amazing. Never in a million years would I have the creativity or flair to put this look together. Thank you. Where is it all from?

Just things I pulled off the internet - but I can post links if you like?

What is your colouring, OP (if you're a "warm autumn")? Hair/eye colour - & do you have pale/tanned skin? And do you think you might wear any of this again - if you don't even own a dress - as it seems a bit of a shame not to find pieces that are versatile enough for you to re-wear? Which could be silk cocktail trousers & top or similar? Or do you want to have your legs (& arms?) on show?

Though I have a wardrobe full of dresses & heels, & a drawer full of jewellery!! And don't possess a single pair of tracksuit bottoms or running footwear ...

deeahgwitch · 10/06/2026 15:05

Oh my ! @EleanorMc67
That Alemais dress is 100% polyester, made in China and is reduced to £300 😮

deeahgwitch · 10/06/2026 15:07

I love the Hobbs coral cotton dress. Great ideas @EleanorMc67

Whattinger · 10/06/2026 15:09

deeahgwitch · 10/06/2026 15:05

Oh my ! @EleanorMc67
That Alemais dress is 100% polyester, made in China and is reduced to £300 😮

But...it looks SO much more fabulous than the duller Hobbs one....

PoppySeedBagelRedux · 10/06/2026 15:13

I haven’t RTFT and I suspect it’s already been mentioned but as you don’t wear dresses normally you should look at renting. You won’t have the waste of money staring you in the face, after the event when you open your wardrobe, and It should be cheaper than your budget and you can get a really special dress. For example https://hire.girlmeetsdress.com/collections/dresses-for-the-races

Hire Dresses for the Races | Rent Ascot Dresses

Can I Try on a dress before my event date? YES, you will see 2 options at the checkout, depending on how soon your event is: You can add our ADVANCE TRY ON service. Select this option at the checkout. You will receive the dresses ASAP to choose which o...

https://hire.girlmeetsdress.com/collections/dresses-for-the-races

EleanorMc67 · 10/06/2026 15:13

deeahgwitch · 10/06/2026 15:05

Oh my ! @EleanorMc67
That Alemais dress is 100% polyester, made in China and is reduced to £300 😮

Is it polyester? I usually check, but didn't in this case as Alemais clothes are so often silk that I assumed it was! Annoying ...

I'm not completely averse to polyester. I've posted before about the Jigsaw satin separates, now made from recycled polyester, that they've been doing versions of for years - & that I've been wearing for years. They're light & silky (& often mistaken for silk) & really resilient & hardwearing - qualities that polyester does offer. But they usually cost me £10-70 on eBay/Vinted!!