Is it normal to feel guilty before a planned facelift?

[Stuckoncrossroads]

Hello, my facelift date is approaching, I am starting to wonder if I’ve gone mad to spend so much on an unnecessary vanity procedure where things can go wrong. I never had a facial even.
I always liked my face,even as it aged, it was ‘me’, until my “Ozempic face” started staring back at me, ruining my weight loss achievement highs. I wanted to reward myself for once, after making it through some tough years. Now suddenly it’s not making as much sense as it did when i committed to it 😬😂 - I still intend to go ahead with it, are my feelings of guilt and uncertainty, instead of excitement common?

Any relevant experience or positive thoughts are appreciated . I imagine getting cold feet as the date approaches is common.
( no trying to talk me out of it or advise me to age gracefully, that’s precisely what I’m trying to do ! With a refreshed face ! 😆 )

Wow. Well jealous.
Woukd you send photos of it as the weeks go on. Before and after please x

@MNLurker1345 Hi… thank you so much -… yes, our little ones… aren’t they lucky 🙄🥰🐥… how is the PMU, sounds like a great idea, are you happy with it? ,My eyes are super swollen& tiny today, so can hardly read - will read/post more when I can …the swelling is making me look about 15 😆- but here another photo…I’m on a train heading back south … as you do on day 3 😆… battered and bruised and victorious… seriously ..I shouldn’t be feeling as great as I am at this stage 🤣

You are looking very baby-faced there OP!

All the best for your recovery.

Hello
Today is day 4, day3/4 should be the worst, swelling is terrible but no pain, so will post a photo of the peak. It’s supposed to get better after today. I’m on antibiotics only. No pain killers.
God knows what’s underneath all the swelling, hopefully it won’t all end up in tears 😂- but I feel calm and reassured because of my surgeon. I am so grateful to those who recommended him
@Lizzbear I’m posting more photos on my other thread
“ Awaiting facelift surgery tomorrow, and would appreciate positive thoughts and advice”

HI @Stuckoncrossroads, it’s so good that there is no pain. Lots of swelling and a little bruising but your skin looks healthy and you are well! Thats the main thing.

You are now having to exercise such patience. I think recording it on MN must be quite enhancing, it gives you a platform to step back in some ways and reflect from our perspective as well. Thank you for sharing this milestone with us.

No tears now! When the swelling does go down let there be tears of joy x

How long do they think you'll be wearing the bandages?

You’re 59?! You look incredible even under the bandages! Good for you prioritising yourself for once. I also recognise the mum facilitating everyone else’s fun…good to do something for yourself. Hope you’re not in too much pain and wishing you a speedy recovery x

That first picture looks amazing lovely definition between the chin and neck thanks for posting. I really want to get my neck done but the recovery time is just too long for me to to take off work.

Thanks everyone , all much appreciated 💓 @MNLurker1345 you are right, I’m finding this helpful,especially it being Mumsnet, where I feel posts are genuine and were pivotal in my process/ search. (Too sceptical about SM/specialised sites where it can be v difficult to know which posts are not gain/£ incentivised). No tears, maybe a smug grin at the end of all this haha

I think my (long & slow 🙄) recovery is starting today even though it doesn’t look it, I’ve grown a beak 🦆😬, but stitches look super neat and it’s a game of patience now.
(I am going to go mad without my regular spin classes highs 🤪😵‍💫🥳).

@Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice maybe another week at most to protect the healing wounds… my surgeon is removing stitches in 3 days.
@Candleabra thank you,no pain whatsoever 😁 it’s just the swelling that’s alarming (whether it will stretch the skin so much I will need another lift 🤣).
The things we do for love…giving ourselves some love too feels good and empowering.

Thank you @Fairydusthello I’ll post today’s neck, with swelling and a beak! Recovery time is a big issue for sure. I originally only wanted my neck& jawline tightened/ restorerd, now really excited my upside down smile may have been reversed and I can look at myself and hopefully get a feel good boost (rather than a daily slap down pitting me in my old place - that’s how it felt 🤣).

Sorry, this ended up so long.😬 ( self indulgent 🙄).

Ooh you look so young already, huge congratulations on your new face!

if you have Instagram the consultant clinic documented her facelift recently, and is now documenting her friends. She’s showed daily progress and it’s been fascinating to watch!

Following

I’m in the early stages of considering a facelift and I already feel guilty. It’s not the money, it’s the sense that I am incredibly vain and I shouldn’t care about such things! And also that it is irresponsible to go under a GA if it’s not necessary.

Katherine Ryan went to York for her DPFL, I wonder if it’s the same clinic you went to. Would love to see the “settled and finished” results!

Checking that clinic, the owner’s transformation is amazing as well, I imagine topping up various non surgical treatments all the time if I owned clinics that specialise in this 😆- everyone likes to look and feel good, at any age. I wish it was all more widely affordable and normalised,and not a privilege.

@midwalker I so get it. I felt vain and silly and guilty to put my daughter through the anxiety, I also felt scared and ‘unworthy’ of such excess.
Now, beyond the results ( yet to be seen once swelling is gone),I feel brave and proud (&a bit rock’s roll 😆),to have followed through with a mad idea that felt right for me and to have found myself ‘worthy’ of such feel-good luxury for once. The whole concept is totally new to me,and I didn’t expect this to be such empowering and liberating experience. For me it was a personal journey of growth to feel worthy, not a shallow vanity project, and it feels great.
(I have always worked hard to look after & improve things around me, whether it’s people, places, things …this time it was me 💃).
Yes, it’s the same clinic K Ryan used. Can’t wait to see end settled results too!

@Stuckoncrossroads “I imagine topping up various non surgical treatments all the time if I owned clinics that specialise in this 😆”

My daughter does non surgical treatments at her clinic.

I read an article the other day about Anne Robinson, in the Telegraph, putting her £4 million home up for sale and moving to London to be near her daughter. She is 82. She had her facelift in 2004, maybe she has non surgical treatments for maintenance because in the photographs she looks really good.

Anyway, keep up the recovery, there’s only one way forward now.

Thank you @MNLurker1345 - I imagine it’s possible to maintain a face very well non surgically…especially if you’ve done the surgical groundwork, so it’s all sitting roughly where it’s meant to …she does look great! 💃

Ah, that’s amazing , I’ve been suggesting to my daughter to consider something private (and practical -for me 🤣),once she finishes her anaesthesist training. She is not very entrepreneurial, and you sort of need to be if you want to have great work/ life balance as a young doctor,I feel. Her working hours are ruthless, I feel for her.

Milestone day today, i am stitch-free, bandage-free and refurbished! . I don’t know who was more smug, me or my surgeon 😁😆 - (it had better still look decent once all rest of swelling is gone 😬- researching fillers already!).

@Lizzbear Milestone photos. First right after stitch removal, and another-all out. My phone isn’t recognising me which is causing me a lot of headache I didn’t think of 😆
Will post ‘before’, a little later, when the ‘after’ is complete ( I think 😬). I took some particularly unflattering ones the morning of the surgery, they made me ‘brave’.
Thanks all for your thoughts and support when I needed it, it’s all helped me to get to the other side, where I wanted to be. You are all stars ✨

You look so young. I hope I can afford one and be brave enough to do it one day!

You look great op! Look forward to seeing the before pics too. But thanks for posting your journey so far, you must be thrilled!

Can I just say how generous you are to share this with us. I got a tummy tuck 2 years ago and like you felt guilty. I guess it’s the mum guilt and used to looking after others first.
you look amazing and I cannot wait to see the progress. Xx

Do what makes you happy. No reason to feel guilty, anymore than that if you’d run a 5K or
worked out to lose weight to feel better and look good. No one’s business than your own. If this is what self care is for you and you can afford it, Do it and celebrate your new confidence.

Wow you look great.
OMG re: phone… They should put that on the essential hospital information!

You didn't bother to RTFT did you? 🙄

Are you really thinking about fillers OP?

In my head I had this idea that a facelift would partially pay for itself if I didn't need any other tweakments for a decade or so...

@Maighnuad That’s so kind to say 💓,other’s generosity in sharing their experiences helped me find the right surgeon, so grateful for that 😊. Good tummy tucks are so impressive& worth it- I hope you love yours 💃

@maxslice 100%!!

I never thought I’d be posting photos so openly, but I want myself and others to feel empowered and proud of whichever way we choose to age and look (at any age).

@Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice I hope not any time soon! Maybe in the future for fine lines above lips if I will
be bothered, facelift fixes the groundwork to restore the shape but doesn’t remove fine lines etc… ( CO2 laser has amazing results but nothing so invasive for me for a while now 🫪😊).
Milestone 2 week photo. Still swollen especially in mornings but recovering fast.

@Candleabra definitely…especially if your settings are on ‘iPhone theft protection’ then you can’t do much,but reset the whole phone.
l’m now worried about passport control!

Looking good OP. Do you have any pain or numbness?