At 57 , is Botox or filler worth considering for an average face

[Mydogisacat]

l’m 57 and considering Botox and possibly a filler. I mentioned it to my very glamorous SIL and she said it’s a waste of money if you’re not an attractive person to begin with. 😱 Is she right? I thought I was average but she put me right. Are cosmetic enchantments only worth it for someone who is beautiful to start start . She also said the clinic will not be used to seeing women who look like me art my age and I will be disappointed by the lack of improvement.
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It’s been a brutal few years for me , my DS (18) was diagnosed with cancer in 2024 ( now in remission) . I just wanted a refresh , is it a waste of time / money.

Wow she didn't hold back did she! It's completely up to you OP. It's not worth it for me (I'm an embrace your wrinkles kind of person) but it might be for you. Why not give it a go and see what you think?

Ofc they will enhance you no doubt

however if I was you I’d just get a full facelift at this point

Wow. Fab SiL there!

What did you reply??

If you're considering it go for a consultation, tell them what you want to change and they can suggest the best route. My friend started fillers at 55 and it made her look much fresher, sort of a mini face lift.

I try not to look too closely and don't want to go down the tweeking route but may have an actual face lift at some point if it bothers me.

I don’t think anyone other than a professional will be able to say. They might think it’s suitable, or they might be able to recommend other treatments depending on what outcome you are looking for if you book a consultation.
However, I think your SIL was very mean and harsh! Is she always like that? I’d be very hurt at those comments

I'm so glad your son is in remission and hope that lasts for good. What a terrible time you and he must have had.

Your SIL is terrified that you'll end up looking better than her. It's the same with the people who hate their overweight friends having weight loss injections. People like this feel better if they are convinced they look better than their friends or family. The thought of that changing horrifies them.

I'd lessen the contact with her, for a start. If you do want treatments, go to somewhere highly reputable and ask what can be done for you. Don't tell her anything.

Well you can tell your SIL that she can't Botox away her ugly personality. What a hideous thing to say. I would stop talking to her to start and then you might feel better about yourself. She sounds awful.

Did she actually say that 😯😯😯😯 i would rather be unattractive than a mean cow that thinks that is an appropriate thing to say to another person. I am genuinely absolutely gobsmacked that someone could be that outrageously rude, what an arsehole.

You and your son have been through a lot, I do hope things feel more stable now. As for your SIL, what a horrible thing to say, devoid of tact, empathy and undserstanding. If Botox and fillers are something you want to consider then go and have a consultation, your face is your concern and nothing to do with her. Personally I would never ask her opinion about anything ever again, she sounds like a very unkind selfish person.

@TheBloomingDahlia I was very hurt , I am only human after all . She actually pointed to a part of my face and said it won’t do much for that! . I cried on the way home. She also said being slim makes it worse. I have always been slim ( 5’2 and 8 stone) .

I'd be tempted to tell her that there are no treatments for an ugly personality

Out of interest what size and shape is your SIL on and what tweakment does she’s have?

Wow, she’s a raging bitch then. I would choose to spend as little time near her as possible, and the joy of that will surely show on your face and you will look fab.

My MIL dabbled in fillers when she hit 70 so the idea of a clinic not being used to a normally ageing face is a crock of shit.

(she’s slightly right on the fat - I’m 4 stone more than you and barely have wrinkles - from my side of things I’d much rather be slim and not hate myself all summer!)

She has regular treatments @bumptybum , she has done for years. She is taller than me 5’6 ish and a size 16 in clothes. I asked her because I thought she could recommend the clinic she goes to. I know she has Botox , fillers and I thread lift but not sure about what else.

Looks like SIL has shown you her true (bitchy) colours. I’m not a Botox person but I can’t imagine a clinic turning you away. Even if what you have done is very subtle, if it makes you feel better and more confident after the ordeal you’ve been through, it is absolutely worth it.

I’d be keeping SIL at arm’s length from now on. Has she got form for this? Is she jealous of you?

Shes jealous because you are slim and wanted to make you feel shit I would guess.

It’s not unusual for her @Crew20 so I should have known better. I don’t usually mention looks etc to her . She has been a bit unkind about my DS ( he is very academic compared to her children) , she likes to point out how little that’s worth in life. He is at Cambridge now which she never mentions. She said some very unkind things which he was ill but it is actually more common than you would think.

She sounds unpleasant.

Ok so she likely has some body issues and wants to dissuade you from doing anything more to improve how you feel you look

first of all being slim certainly does not make things worse. Losing vast amounts of fat at our age can make people look older in skin laxity but you’ve always been slim so your skin won’t have stretched out.

you absolutely can get good results from injectables. I’m not sure what you are concerned about facially but loss of youthful facial fats can be improved with careful and minimal use of filler. As can lip fullness. Botox will work just as well on you as her. If it’s forehead lines, Botox will reduce them and help minimise further creasing. Ditto for crows feet. A really good practitioner can even create slight lift in parts of the face like jawline and corners of the mouth with Botox. And in any case, if you try and it doesn’t do enough then you don’t have to go back. Just give it a go

Does SIL have form for being a total cunt?

Your SIL sounds a right cow. And a badly informed cow at that. Any good aesthetician will give you a consultation to talk about what's right for you. For most of us in mid-life, we're not after 'beautification' with the big lips etc, we just want to look more youthful, refreshed and more like our old selves, and perhaps that matches what you want too. As for her silly comments about what clinics will be used to, perhaps she visits a place that specialises only in 'trends' for Instagram influencers. Let me assure you that there are plenty of clinics where the majority of clients are 40/50+ and you will fit right in. Honestly, she sounds like a thoroughly awful person and I think you should give her a wide berth. If a few tweakments and a fresher look will boost your confidence - go for it.

@Stoicandhappy you could say that.

She’s a mean witch , ignore what she said and have a consultation to discuss your options. If she was right none of us would do anything to make us feel better and walk round wearing a sack and not bother with any self care

She is clearly jealous of you being slim
and is desperate for you to not ‘outshine’ her looks wise (in her own bizarre mind). I wouldn’t even mention it again and get some recommendations elsewhere where to go for some treatments. Is she a sil and married to your brother or is she married to your husbands brother?

shes horrible. dont trust her for a recommendation as she might send you somewhere bad as she’s jealous.

my doctor does it. i’d trust him. or a dentist or some other medical professional who’s had training and been doing it for a good while.

shop around.

Gosh, two tips: I started botox last year at age 52, with deep frown line and lines on my forehead (been through some very challenging times and it showed on my face). I googled someone local who had been doing it for 20 years and had amazing reviews, and she did a consultation first. I wanted her to be honest if there was even any point at my age and with such deep lines and she was brutally honest but also gave me real hope. I have now had two sessions and am so pleased with the results - the deep line between my eyes has visibly reduced and she's also done one at the edges of my eyebrows that has sort of lifted that bit of my face. It's boosted my confidence at a time when I was feeling quite lost. Search for a place with good reviews that has been in business for ages and go for it.

Second tip: minimise contact with your SIL. She sounds incredibly jealous and toxic. That alone will lift years off you.

Good luck!