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Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???

66 replies

FussInBoots · 13/05/2026 00:06

Help! 37 year old mum of 3 looking for cruise fashion advice.Does anyone want to take on a fashion case??
We have a cruise coming up and I have realised that most of my wardrobe is leggings, jeans and clothes that are more practical than stylish.

I am a size 12 to 14 with a bit of a mum tum and a medium bust that is not quite where it used to be! I want to buy just a few nice pieces rather than lots of cheap items. I am looking for clothes that are comfortable but still smart, flattering, and suitable for spring and summer. Nothing too revealing, but I do not want to look frumpy either.

I absolutely hate shopping in stores and find online shopping overwhelming. I have been looking on Facebook and Instagram for outfit inspiration, but I cannot seem to find anything that feels realistic for a normal 37 year old mum.
Can anyone recommend good quality high street shops that offer stylish clothes that last? I would love suggestions for cruise outfits, flattering styles for a tummy area, and comfortable but stylish shoes.

I am also looking at the UGG GoldenGlow Sandals as they look lightweight, supportive and practical while still being stylish.

Any recommendations, favourite shops, or holiday staples you swear by would be hugely appreciated.

OP posts:
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Eucatastrophilia · 13/05/2026 17:45

(Ha! I long ago gave up referencing most of what I wear myself here - the screams of disbelief and chortling with scorn rather dampened my faith in the working of a Style and Beauty board … )

redboxerclub · 13/05/2026 18:01

Is it a hot cruise?

m and s and next are good places to start.

Go for basics and then branch out. Pick a colour pallette of neutrals and a colour Uggs are a decent brand. They are not hideous .

this js my cruise list for a week

shorts- white linen, green beach, black denim
trousers- green linen barrel, wide patterned (black and white) ankle jeans, jersey harem
dresses - one short one midi one smarter
tops- strappy vest tops x3 and racer style x 3, combination black, white, striped and pink and green, taupe
A nice white cotton top and a logo t shirt
a warm jumper and a coat with a hood
Cardigan / denim jacket

2 bikinis and cover ups
trainers, walking sandals, evening sandals
packable beach bag and backpack small evening bag

StasisMom · 13/05/2026 18:05

Eucatastrophilia · 13/05/2026 17:45

(Ha! I long ago gave up referencing most of what I wear myself here - the screams of disbelief and chortling with scorn rather dampened my faith in the working of a Style and Beauty board … )

Ah now I’m interested! I love to see things which may be a little out of the norm!

StasisMom · 13/05/2026 18:12

And @FussInBootsI’m pretty sure Style Me Happy can help with online advice, they also have a Facebook community where you could post a photo of yourself and get advice.

NancyJoan · 13/05/2026 18:20

Would you wear this kind of thing? It is mostly Uniqlo.

Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???
RainStrops · 13/05/2026 18:27

OP do you have a Uniqlo near you? They do great basics. You could start with jeans (not necessarily for the cruise) as they are a good staple. Spend time working out what suits you. Uniqlo does tops, summer trousers and dresses and cotton skirts too. It’s a good high street option.

You do need to commit to trying lots on. And persisting!

Do you have any photos of any looks you like, say on the John Lewis website. Maybe post those here and work out how they can be adapted.

RainStrops · 13/05/2026 18:28

NancyJoan · 13/05/2026 18:20

Would you wear this kind of thing? It is mostly Uniqlo.

Ha great minds!

RainStrops · 13/05/2026 18:30

Uniqlo do plain dresses and skirts too.

I don’t do florals so love their stuff. But I know they aren’t for everyone!

Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???
Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???
Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???
warmpinkshawl · 13/05/2026 18:34

FussInBoots · 13/05/2026 17:00

I have around 10 days... I know I've cut it too short... but this is what I do... I bury my head in the sand, then panic shop the sale rails and end up unhappy and out of pocket.
Please share any wisdom you have 🙏

I know. I do the same.

Download the ‘Stylebook’ app (there are other apps but I’m using Stylebook). I’ve had it for years and years but always got overwhelmed. Don’t get overwhelmed. Start small.

Start uploading content based on this cruise rather than everything in your wardrobe. (I’ll tell you at the end my method of uploading and be on hand for support if you decide to try this).

Upload your sandals first because you’ve chosen those for very good reasons. Plus one pair of smartish shoes. (Google the 5,4,3,2,1 method which suggests a third pair of shoes, but I stuck with 2).

Then upload four ‘bottoms’ in your cupboard that you wear and like. I went and bought jeans off Halara because of social media advertising and have to say they are fab. Make one bottom smartish - like black trousers/skirt.

Next, pick out five tops in your wardrobe. Look through everything - you might find stuff you haven’t worn for ages. I did.

Once you have these items all in the app, mix and match the items using the ‘looks’ feature. Consider swapping out anything that is standalone (only appears in one look if doesn’t go with anything else) - either introduce something else from your wardrobe to take its place or now shop specifically for an item you KNOW needs to go with items you’ve already got. So, you see, your shopping is no longer aimless.

The looks feature really helps to pick out combinations, quite quickly too. You’ll find, for example, your ‘smart top’ can be made more casual with jeans (or similar), but look super smart with black trousers and accessories. It’s faster than trying everything on.

At this stage I started to focus on accessories because they are small and you can take a bunch of small things to make an outfit look different. It was ridiculous how many people told me I looked nice just because I tied a scarf around my neck 🙄. I ended up trying to upload most of my jewellery and shawls and scarves to the app to mix things up in the looks as well.

I also went and bought a jacket, but I was shopping with purpose now instead of my usual panicked scatter-gun shopping. I also have lots to return that I can see won’t get worn much because they don’t integrate with my favourites.

Once you’ve got a bunch of looks created you can create a packing list from them. My final packing list had 25 items on it, which made up 13 looks (I was away for 3 nights!) Of those items, 13 were clothes, the rest shoes and accessories. I’ve attached examples of looks from my list.

What I still can’t help with is ‘style’ and ‘critical judgement’ - and I still have strong opinions on judgy-fashion and how horribly it affects women. (See for example some of the comments in response to sandals you had narrowed down as a choice). So I’m sure someone will come along to my looks and say ‘I wouldn’t have put that top with those jeans’ or something similar.

So I haven’t cracked ‘style’. But I did think I looked like I had “made an effort” - which is another horrible category we get judged on.

On the shopping: if you see something you think might be nice you can download and add it to the app to preemptively test it with clothes you’ve already got there.

—- My Stylebook method. I take a photo of the item in good light usually on my laminate floor. I then take it into the adobe express app and one click remove the background there ( don’t start the free trial). Stylebook can remove the background but not as cleanly as adobe express. That’s the image I upload.

I’ll keep checking on this thread if there’s anything else I can help wrt process or using the app IF you think you might like to try this approach. I really hope this helps. I know how horribly stressful it is.

Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???
Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???
Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???
Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???
warmpinkshawl · 13/05/2026 18:38

EmeraldRoulette · 13/05/2026 16:20

@warmpinkshawl i'm not trying to hijack @FussInBoots thread, but I would be interested to know what you did

I found your thread and your observations really helpful

I ended up decluttering my wardrobe and realising that I don't really need to buy anything at the moment which is a relief

I was in such a flap about clothing and your thread really helped me stop being in a flap - thank you. 💐

♥️ I was in a massive despair. Not helped by the fact I had to get something for a funeral, at the same time I got horrible health news about a loved one, all just before a trip away. It was awful. That’s why I’m trying to still work away at it.

CaribbeanChaos · 13/05/2026 21:51

I think the most important question is

“where is the cruise going?”

What you would need for a Caribbean cruise is different to what you would need for a Mediterranean cruise which is different to what you would need for a Norwegian fjords cruise.

BeachClub · 13/05/2026 21:55

@Divebar2021surely if you feel good in it, that's all that matters? The OP wants to look good and feel good. To me feeling good means you also like the way you look.

I've got myself to a stage where I have found clothes that look good on me and so I feel good.

BeachClub · 13/05/2026 22:01

@warmpinkshawlI enjoyed reading your post. I didn't use an app but I did similar to you. I just spent an afternoon going through everything and trying stuff on together. I chose a purpose, say casual, or smart casual for an evening.

I started with a pair of trousers I liked, then tried different tops on. I then tried different jackets, cardigans, shoes, belts. I trusted my judgement and knew straight away when things didn't look right. Then I repeated with a different pair of trousers or skirt. It soon became apparent what I was missing or which items didn't really work with anything.

Divebar2021 · 13/05/2026 23:37

BeachClub · 13/05/2026 21:55

@Divebar2021surely if you feel good in it, that's all that matters? The OP wants to look good and feel good. To me feeling good means you also like the way you look.

I've got myself to a stage where I have found clothes that look good on me and so I feel good.

Yes feeling good is exactly the point. That might be an oversized top with oversized bottoms for example. Or two clashing prints or horizontal stripes on big boobs. All these rules have been created about “ flattering” and flattering is not a style.

Although these are slightly fruitless conversations because working out a personal style is a time consuming process and a lot of people just want a list of must haves like “ the perfect white shirt” etc etc

GameOfJones · 14/05/2026 08:02

It depends on where the cruise is going but I agree that with only 10 days to go in your position I'd get to your nearest Uniqlo and commit to trying loads on. They tend not to do much pattern so I find I can mix and match my clothes from there really easily and they're great for basics.

I particularly like their wide leg easy trousers, v neck linen t shirts, airism dresses and 3D knit lightweight jumpers. If you find something from there you like buy it in a couple of different colours.

Keep the sandals. I have some similar walking sandals from Skechers and they feel like walking on marshmallows which is what you need for exploring ports.

Depending on which cruise line you're on will depend on if you need any smart wear for formal evenings. If it's P&O for example you don't have to dress up at all if you don't want. I like to, but it's optional and almost everyone is causal during the daytime in shorts and t shirts or jeans etc.

CaribbeanChaos · 14/05/2026 12:14

BeachClub · 13/05/2026 21:55

@Divebar2021surely if you feel good in it, that's all that matters? The OP wants to look good and feel good. To me feeling good means you also like the way you look.

I've got myself to a stage where I have found clothes that look good on me and so I feel good.

You missed my point. In the Caribbean she’s going to need clothes for hot weather. In the fjords she’s going to need warmer clothes.

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