Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???

[FussInBoots]

Help! 37 year old mum of 3 looking for cruise fashion advice.Does anyone want to take on a fashion case??
We have a cruise coming up and I have realised that most of my wardrobe is leggings, jeans and clothes that are more practical than stylish.

I am a size 12 to 14 with a bit of a mum tum and a medium bust that is not quite where it used to be! I want to buy just a few nice pieces rather than lots of cheap items. I am looking for clothes that are comfortable but still smart, flattering, and suitable for spring and summer. Nothing too revealing, but I do not want to look frumpy either.

I absolutely hate shopping in stores and find online shopping overwhelming. I have been looking on Facebook and Instagram for outfit inspiration, but I cannot seem to find anything that feels realistic for a normal 37 year old mum.
Can anyone recommend good quality high street shops that offer stylish clothes that last? I would love suggestions for cruise outfits, flattering styles for a tummy area, and comfortable but stylish shoes.

I am also looking at the UGG GoldenGlow Sandals as they look lightweight, supportive and practical while still being stylish.

Any recommendations, favourite shops, or holiday staples you swear by would be hugely appreciated.

When I was going back to work after maternity leave, I did a John Lewis personal styling appointment and found it genuinely transformational. I came away with a much better sense of what worked for me and felt able to look at clothes in a completely new way. I’ve felt more confident supplementing the bits I bought with new things since. Could you do that, but for a cruise wardrobe rather than a work wardrobe?

Everything lol.
The travel day, the cruise ship days, excursions... I feel like I just don't know what's 'in' or what suits me....
So I suppose this isn't just about the cruise... but because it's happening soon, it's making me think I don't have the right things to wear

Just googled the sandals. Oooof I’m 64 and I wouldn’t go near anything as awful

I think the sandals are fine and very millenial. Type of thing the younger very hip crowd at work would wear (along with loose fitting trousers, Ts etc). I could see a 90s vibe going with them as well.

Go to shops for me are Uniqlo, Cos & M&S, Uniqlo and Cos would definitely have pieces that fit with that vibe.

Currently I have a pair of chunky black sandals from schuh... but they're too loose on the front, which is why I was looking for a shoe thag can be tightened to fit a narrow foot
I do wear my DM Chelsea boots as my office shoes (and occasionally wear them with dresses and jeans)

I think your sandals choice is great - I have Ugg sandals - incredibly comfortable and I often get asked where I got them from - so if you like them, of course you can build a wardrobe around them.. ignore the haters

I wear mine with navy linen trousers and also toast / Cos / Arket dresses .. never been on a cruise but I have walked miles in them .. so comfortable

I've always thought these sessions would be pointless (but that's probably me being biased as I had 1 bad bra fitting session in M&S years ago)

How much did you pay for the session please?

https://www.lauradaviesstyling.co.uk

I think this stylist does online and in person shops.

if you like the Ugg sandals, what about these ones? A bit more lightweight, I have them and they are v comfortable.

www.fitflop.com/uk/en/shop/gen-ff-leather-fisherman-sandals-p-IZ1#090

what shops do you like the style of ? Eg I like fat face for boho slowly skirts and their knitwear, and I like mint velvet for classic and more boho floaty styles. I only wear black, brown, navy, white and cream clothes as that is my style and I usually wear one colour top and bottom as I like that monochrome look.
If you could say what shops you have liked before it would help us know what style you might go for, eg fat face more boho but some might find it a bit middle aged, hollister or Abercrombie for preppy styles, new look or h and m for younger trends? Do you like colourful clothes or neutral colours?

I think the sudoku method mentioned before would be good for you, and also getting all the items from one place so they go together.

It sounds a bit more like you’re uncomfortable with yourself and a bit lost in general tbh. Are you coming out of a bit of a motherhood fug and looking to feel more like pre-kids you again but don’t know how?

The sandals aren’t unstylish - they’re what I’d call normcore / gorpcore which are very Gen Z but look a bit unironic on anyone over 25.

What cruiseline are you going on? How long for? Asking as this will affect how many formal nights there are, if there's fancy dress. You can totally opt out of these if it is not your thing. My last cruise was Cunard so you change for supper. p&o this year so majority of the time probably won't bother. Do you know your body shape I am an upside down triangle. Apple is common as is pear have a Google as then we can suggest thungs that flatter your good points. I have a thung about having swimmers shoulders so live in v necks

Oh I swear by not your daughter's jeans for jeans if you want one nice pair. I am ashamed to admit how many jeans I have, but those and Paige seem to feature quite a lot as well as 501s.

Ha ha I feel your pain re clothes and dinners. I solved the clothes issue 40 years by deciding to wear only black as it suits me, it’s flattering and I never have to think about what goes together. I will wear different coloured accessories like shoes/trainers/handbags and for beach holidays I have colourful stuff to float about in.

I do have a few dresses but always go for darker colours as I’m just not good at avoiding dirty surfaces and will sit on a wall without examining it too carefully :-)
for the dinners…. Solved that with a seasonal menu on a two week rotation until
kids all left and husband retired, then put him on lunch duty and got a meal box delivery 3 days a week - game changer. Don’t mind cooking, but Covid lockdown did for me and I am left with decision and planning fatigue aftermath.

good luck - a cruise sounds lovely. I’ve always fancied it but always been put off by having to wear proper clothes to dinner - although I think it’s much more relaxed nowadays.

My idea of a holiday involves stretchy waistbands and comfy battered footwear (or none at all).

I think another posters suggestion of the 9 bits of clothing to
make 27 outfits is a brilliant idea. And yes a good bra does wonders as it improves your posture so everything hangs better (plus the better supported your boobs are the less your stomach sticks out! )
just seen you are taking kids. Lucky kids. Brave of you!
oh last thing. Assuming you are going to take advantage of all the food , make sure you’ve got room to expand in whatever you buy :-)

I need to do this as I’ve got a summer party and a wedding coming up. How long did it take and do you pay?

I really feel for you OP. I started a thread recently in similar despair at clothes shopping.

Stick with your sandals. You like them and they’re good for your feet. That’s all that matters.

On the rest, how much time have you got before your cruise? I can share what I did (and am still doing) to get past it. (Fellow sufferer who ‘gets’ the difficulty ✋).

Here’s a stylish dress from Boden

https://www.boden.com/products/women-may-jersey-midi-dress-deep-wisteria-d1554prp

Nice, practical top
https://www.boden.com/products/women-mya-short-sleeve-smocked-shirt-clover-purple-t2047mpr

Extremely comfy sandals
https://penelopechilvers.com/products/buttercup-leather-sandal-tan

I’ve bought quite a few clothes from Tesco and Zara recently. Tesco have got loads of cute co-ords and both shops have lots of light weight trousers. New Look have a lot of dresses.

@warmpinkshawl i'm not trying to hijack @FussInBoots thread, but I would be interested to know what you did

I found your thread and your observations really helpful

I ended up decluttering my wardrobe and realising that I don't really need to buy anything at the moment which is a relief

I was in such a flap about clothing and your thread really helped me stop being in a flap - thank you. 💐

I think it depends on the person you get a bit, I actually did it twice after both of my maternity leaves. The first was good and she really managed to reflect my style in her picks and then the second was somehow even better even though some of the picks initially seemed less ‘me’, as she pushed me in a new more professional direction and it opened my eyes to a better version of me if that makes sense!

It’s completely free to book, but I ended up spending about £500 each time - there’s no pressure to buy anything but the assumption is you’re there to buy things, and you find yourself buying the scarf or the belt that makes the outfit, not just the trousers or whatever and it all adds up! I think you book for an hour but I felt no time pressure and I think both ran longer.

Our closes JL is always quite booked up though, think I booked more than a month in advance.

I have around 10 days... I know I've cut it too short... but this is what I do... I bury my head in the sand, then panic shop the sale rails and end up unhappy and out of pocket.
Please share any wisdom you have 🙏

Did I miss the mark with Aligne, @FussInBoots?

Do you want cheaper / more expensive? More grungy, more flouncy? (Surely not more office-y? For which I’d make an entirely different suggestion.)

Go to Carvela or Steve Madden for shoes

I agree both on the sandals and the shops.

OP for what it's worth - given I'm currently mulling over my own holiday wardrobe - one of the best pieces of advice I've got is this: don't dress for who you want to be on holiday, dress for who you are. Look at what you usually wear or styles you are drawn to, and find summer equivalents.

Being stylish isn't about following what everyone else wears, it's about working out what what looks good on you. Sometimes you don't need to do much really. I have black skinny jeans and if I add a belt, my Adidas trainers, a slouchy boho type top, a cropped jacket and some bold sunglasses, I feel 100% more stylish.

Wide leg trousers if you go for a bold print you can wear a plain vest top with some simply accessories and you're done, for example.

I'm 37 and I live for high waisted wide leg or flared trousers and fitted tops as they hide my tummy.

I think in spring/summer you can lift a basic outfit heavily with a well chosen jacket, shoes and accessories.

I don't care that much about what's fashionable. I wear what I feel good in. It can take a while to know what this is though.

I think it helps to understand your body shape and what you feel good in. There’s nothing wrong with dressing for comfort, but you can elevate your outfit so it looks modern. For example, I’m an apple shape with large chest so I don’t even look twice at certain types of clothing, like crop tops or anything that shows my thick bra straps. I am quite short and know that long dresses drown me. Very wide leg jeans don’t suit me at all. It makes scrolling clothes much easier as a starter for 10.

I slightly disagree with @BeachClub - looking stylish isn’t about wearing something purely because it looks good on you. Wearing something that you feel great in does not necessarily translate to the most flattering. You get advice on here continually about wrap dresses oh hourglass shapes etc and yes you might technically be wearing the most flattering shape but you’re not necessarily feeling like the truest version of yourself. ( the things you feel best in may well be the most flattering but “ flattering “ is not a style )

I quite like the sandals - I have something similar from Flower Mountain who are a Japanese brand. Mine are definitely leaning ugly / gorpcore but that’s fine because I don’t do “ pretty pretty” and I enjoy the friction. I wear mine mostly with wide legged trousers and I like Cos, Arket, Uniqlo and some M&S. I’d probably add either a short sleeved resort shirt or t shirt. ( crew neck - I don’t like scoop or V). Sometimes I’ll wear a straight legged trouser and then wear a man’s oversized shirt. I would wear a shirt as a beach cover up but maybe you look at a print kimono and think that’s your style. In which case I’d work out from there. None of this is revolutionary style but I now understand why I have bought things in the past and not worn them. I’d find a hero product in your wardrobe or maybe those shoes and work out what it is that you like so much about them and go from there. Keep the colour palette quite limited to 3 colours but add something that isn’t matchy matchy because that’s expected and quite bland.

I do agree that accessories can make an outfit 100%. So can red lipstick or something a bit weird. A badge… something on your bag.

( Im thinking you probably want someone to give you the answers and a few links but if
i did that it would just be about what I’d wear and not necessarily what you would feel great in )