Very particular 16year old daughter needs wedding guest outfit please help

[alpenguin]

My red-headed autistic (it is relevant as she’s stubborn af) 16 year old is struggling to find a dress for an upcoming extended family wedding.

The dress code is smart but not formal. All the dresses she’s sending me to look at are floor length bodycon very fitted and more suited to a Hollywood ball / evening event for a 6ft escort rather than a wedding.

she’s 5’2” and a size 12 with wide shoulders and an hourglass figure so will struggle with the strapless fitted long dresses she likes

She refuses a trouser suit, nothing above the knee or just below, must be maxi.

Can someone with better taste than I point out appropriate dresses I could send her because everything I send is ugly or middle
aged apparently and everything she sends me looks like a high class hooker.

Ok so she needs something maxi length but available in petite. Or midi length but will hir maxi on her (this can be hard to get right).

Would she consider a jumpsuit?

or this might be slinky enough without being too bodycon?

Mango teen has some decent long but not too dressy options

Quiz have loads of nice long dresses including non skin tight ones!

Vinted is your friend here!

Would this be suitable, OP?

https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1318784002.html

has she tried any on?

that is not helpful!

Can you share a pic of the sort of thing she's suggesting and perhaps we can find a less OTT version? If she's sending gowns and you're suggesting trousers suits then you're miles apart and she might be more likely to agree to a spin on something she likes.

16yo DD was at a wedding recently (her friend's +1), at a country house, fancy but not black tie. She got a Pepperberry dress on vinted. I had to take it in a little (and stitch up a bit of the leg split) as based on the website sizing she was a 12 but a 10 would have been better, but she was delighted with the dress and looked gorgeous.

Let her wear what she wants!

And your comments about looking g like an escort are horrible.

this might be too old but it comes in petite

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su923185/y35757

ASOS has a large selection of petite maxi dresses but I have to admit I looked through and none really grabbed me. But might be worth her having a scroll.

It does seem like wedding attire has got more like what I’d have called black tie recently. All long dresses in chiffon and satin.

My DD has found some lovely long dresses on Shein. Not the nasty material a lot of the stuff is made from either. If you go to the petite range and filter it a bit. Show us what she likes and we can go from there

agree

But more importantly ORDER SOME and let her make her own mind up

I wonder if you find her being a WUMMAN difficult?

DDIL is only 4ft 11. She gets a lot of her dresses from Pretty Little Thing because they have a decent petite range

Let her go in what she wants. There will be others similarly dressed.

this could suit a redhead?

Re “let her wear what she wants” we don’t know what the DD has put forward. If it’s something very tight and revealing (sounds like it is) then it would be inappropriate for someone’s wedding and it’s fair for OP to say that.

love that @minipie

and this https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-one-shoulder-satin-maxi-dress-with-pleat-detail-in-sage-green/prd/210619224?_gl=1envfei_up*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjw5NvPBhAoEiwA_2egfoRTIan6JRLU4XgCUdwAZlTnmf-4km14Oe84wdkUu0h16Bp0eha2iRoCqVIQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOA9NHvjJDDRQhmDpRkUPwJj9#ctaref-we%20recommend%20carousel_9&featureref1-we%20recommend%20pers

Would any of these work?

My daughter is taller than yours and a smaller dress size, but when she went to a smart but not formal wedding last year, aged 17, this is the kind of thing we settled on.

A slip dress something like this (comes in petite)

https://www.hollisterco.com/shop/uk/p/crepe-slip-maxi-dress-62681819-1005?categoryId=85292&faceout=model&seq=02&pagefm=navigation-grid&prodvm=navigation-grid

With a lacy shrug over it
https://www.hollisterco.com/shop/uk/p/long-sleeve-tie-front-shrug-61998842-1005?faceout=model&seq=04&pagefm=navigation-swatch&prodvm=navigation-swatch

I didn't feel it was that smart, but it felt smart to her as she lives in jeans and tracksuit bottoms, and it wasn't a very dressed-up wedding anyway.

Edited: just realised this slip dress has a cutaway back which may not be right...but you can find similar slip dresses without

gosh, Hollister has changed. Its gone a bit fat face

This exactly. Wearing fitted clothing does not make you look like an ‘escort’. Particularly not if the dress is longer and/or not super low cut!!

I'd just let her wear what she wants too within reason. Nobody is going to be that bothered what a 16 year old wears.

Just let her wear what she wants if she's buying it. Or give her whatever you are willing to spend and let her get on with it. The consequences are hers if she looks silly. I know you are trying to spare her that, but honestly there is only so much you can do and looking foolish at a family wedding is quite a safe learning environment.