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Please help de-frump me!

27 replies

Helpwithdressing · 17/04/2026 09:18

Can you clever lot help me work out what to wear please?

I have changed shape as I've got older and have no idea what suits me any more. When I was young I was a skinny minny but I have expanded over the last few years and I don't know how to dress myself. I usually pick clothes that would have suited me previously and end up feeling really depressed when they cling in all the wrong places.

I'm mid-50s, 5 foot 5, size 12-14 - and my middle is the biggest issue - I think I would be described as an apple. My arms and legs are ok. I would like to shift some weight but am on tamoxifen and menopausal, and nothing I do seems to be helping so I'd like to refresh my wardrobe and have a few smarter, more stylish options than the current jeans (with stretchy waistband) and baggy tops that I live in.

I am quite pale, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and suit pinks, greens, light blues, cream and brown/burgundy.

My budget is more high street than high end. I like the look of wide leg trousers but I feel they'd make me look enormous.

Please help me get started.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 18/04/2026 00:58

Helpwithdressing · 17/04/2026 13:08

Thank you everyone for your suggestions so far. I think I might have to take a kind but blunt friend shopping with me and get their feedback. Or maybe try a personal shopper in John Lewis.

Last time I went into M&S I tried on a few things which I thought looked nice eg barrel leg jeans and boxy jackets but they really didn't look nice on me and then I just gave up. I have never found anything in Zara that looked good on me so I don't venture in there any more.

Whenever I've been in Cos everything just looks like sacks so I wouldn't know where to start. I see people recommending it on here all the time so I must be missing something.

I will read all your comments properly and see what I can find.

You're not missing anything in cos. All the clothes there look like sacks.

StylishAndBeautiful · 18/04/2026 10:03

mathanxiety · 18/04/2026 00:58

You're not missing anything in cos. All the clothes there look like sacks.

I've got a couple of dresses and thought I was stylish. The words 'oh dear, Styl, that dress is frumpy' soon set me straight. Smile

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