Is the top too white as a wedding guest dress?

[ThisNewLemonBee]

I love this dress, I have purchased it and feel happy in it but two questions:

1. Is the top too white to wear as a wedding guest?
2. Is it a bit ‘extra’ to wear anyway?

I’m starting to doubt myself and not sure if it’s because I rarely have the oppprtunity to dress up nicely or if the dress is just not suitable and should be returned?

I'm thinking of buying this from Next - Love & Roses x RHS Floral Metallic Embellished Neck Long Sleeve Midi Dress Dress

I'm in my 50s - not wearing white has been a thing for as long as I can remember.
I guess what is different now is that lots of brides don't wear traditional wedding dresses and I think that makes it harder for guests.

I think it's fine. Looking back at my wedding photos (22 years in June) there were plenty of women wearing cream/white with flowers (including my mum), and indeed all white/cream/ivory dresses or outfits. No-one batted an eyelid nor mistook them for the bride. Least of all me.

I've also been to dozens of weddings, often wearing black and white, as were many others, and no-one has ever commented adversely on my outfit, in fact quite the reverse.

And if they did, bugger that, who cares about the opinions of stupid people?

I just googled it and apparently guests not wearing white goes back to the 19th century, when Queen Victoria wore white to her wedding. Since then it's seen as disrespectful or potentially upstaging. More recently it's seen as potentially distracting from the bride in photos.

Exactly. In my personal opinion it’s a provincial thing that’s spread that people have come believe is old school wedding etiquette but never was. In fact, at haut monde weddings the thing you actually shouldn’t wear is black.

Princess Kate wedding outfits.

Some from my actual wedding.

No, we were shopping for our bridesmaid dresses and my mother and aunts told me. The relative I mentioned upthread who likes to wear white to other people's weddings wore white to that one and a lot of people expressed disapproval.

At the risk of another "Royal Correspondent" accusation (from the poster who actually brought up royal weddings 🫠), Kate's outfit was actually a light yellow. But it did photograph as white in the sunlight so it probably was a bit of an unwise choice.

I must say I am surprised to see an all white dress in there. I think that's off. You obviously didn't and it was your wedding so that's what matters, but... yeah.

I'm in my 60s and it absolutely has never been a thing until I saw it on here. None of my friends have ever heard of it either.

In 1983 I wore an off white suit to my best friend's wedding. According to MN rules, I must have hated her but weirdly we're still friends 43 years later.

I've just remembered a wedding some years ago where one woman walked in wearing a white dress with a single squiggle on the skirt. I wasn't going to say anything but a few people did murmur words to the effect of "that's a bit off" and I agreed. Then another woman came in wearing the exact same dress. Embarrassing, but we felt they deserved it.

Oh and to add, I think the white one with red accents is too white as well (that actually looks very similar to a "non traditional" dress I saw a bride wear once; all white with some red accents). As before, your wedding and so on, but yeah.

It was cream, it looked cream in the sunlight. This is light yellow.

It looks lovely and not remotely like something that could upset a bride. Unless you planned on wearing it with a veil or a cream hat with a veil?

If you don't find an alternative, I'd buy it again.

What you mean is that Google told you that Queen Victoria set the trend for white wedding dresses which is correct. The rest is AI.

There's only so much energy I'm going to expend on it, but it is yellow, albeit very light. Shows more in the indoor photos which are very easy to look up.

It's not a MN thing. I don't know how so many people have lived decades longer than I have and never heard it, but it really is not a new thing or a MN thing. OP had doubts as did about half the people she asked, so she did the right thing by playing it safe; the risk/reward just isn't worth it. That style of dress is very on trend, there'll be loads of similar styles that are more solidly coloured and look just as lovely.

That’s still cream…

I’ve never said it was MN thing - it’s a rule that’s caught on and spread in the mistaken belief that it’s society etiquette which it never was.

AI scours the internet and gives you an answer based on the sources available. I wouldn't necessarily trust it to cite legal precedent, but it seems okay for providing a brief history of wedding outfit etiquette.
Just because other posters haven't heard of this particular 'rule', that doesn't mean it doesn't exist!

Vogue and the wedding magazines from my quick google seem to conclude that wearing white best avoided unless specifically requested.
Obviously, it's not a law and seemingly many brides don't mind (although I would), so I guess if you know the bride would definitely be okay with it, then fair enough. Personally, I'd feel self conscious.

I would have taken it as rude if it had been done at my wedding, not because I was worried about being upstaged or anything but because it's such a set etiquette that to me, it feels like someone is making a point when they go against it. When the polite thing to do is so established, it's hard not to take it as rude when someone doesn't do it.

If I found out later that they'd never heard of it, I guess I'd no longer consider it rude, but I really would wonder how they'd never come across it. It's been such a thing for so long. Like I said earlier, guests don't wear red to Indian weddings and as far as I know, people don't struggle with it.

Looks like a beautiful wedding guest dress ! Not bridal at all ! Go for it!

Absolutely gorgeous. Definitely not too bridal, wear it OP. Good find.

@Aiming4Optimistic Thanks for that I didn’t know how AI works or how random and inaccurate its sources. It would be more likely to be more accurate on legal precedent actually: the name, year and case number should be correct and you’d find links to academic sources, which is precisely what is lacking here.

because it's such a set etiquette

As I said, that’s precisely what it’s not, but I’d agree people think it is, so it’s now become a rigid law.

Weirdly, it apparently makes up legal stuff sometimes, to illustrate a point. I remember hearing about a lawyer who got disbarred because they cited a case in court which didn't actually exist because they'd used AI. I'd look it up but AI might make up the result

I honestly don't know how people haven't heard of it. I've seen it as a plot point in books, films and TV shows.

It's a thing. Sorry, but it really is. You don't have to care personally but it really, really is a set etiquette.