Help needed for an inveterate scruff who needs to look presentable for cocktails and a meal out with dh's new boss.

[LongTermLurker]

I'm 50, size 10-12, 5'6". Usually wear kinda frumpy cords and woolly jumpers. Was thinking of the same sort of garments but fancier....like a fancy jumper and, erm...nice cords? Also always wear sensible wide toe shoes like hobibear, and I'm unwilling to wear any heels. So maybe some nice looking comfy shoes?

Would prefer to get stuff on vinted if possible.

Pleeeaaase help 🥺

I’ve got my eye on this Juliette Top from Palome, for something to wear with wide leg velvet trousers on a night out.

Palome

And as no sources given for any of the suggestions likely no use whatsoever to the OP.

Too casual.

Christ, this site is full of rude bores. Read properly, the OP specified VINTED to save money presumably, and yet everyone's posting links to other websites and often full priced or top end stuff, and you're not policing them with your odd attitude.

So I can rest easy that I haven't acted as Google for a grown woman. She wanted suggestions, to search for nice things on vinted, that's what I did. Have a nice day 😙

If you want to feel comfortable but upgraded a notch, blouse/shirt coords and then just add two pieces of matching jewelry (bracelet, necklace). That tends to do it.

Matching top and bottom gives a more dressed up look, than if you mix materials and colours. And you remain comfortable. This set for example, although not necessarily in this colour:

https://www.asos.com/arrange/arrange-oversized-contrast-stitch-shirtand-wide-leg-trouser-co-ord-in-mint-green/grp/208450072#colourWayId-207200065&productId-207200064

or this

https://www.asos.com/kaiia/kaiia-exclusive-button-front-fitted-shirt-and-tailored-trousers-co-ord-in-beige-pinstripe/grp/210539063#colourWayId-210143509&productId-210143507

or this

https://www.asos.com/4th-reckless/4th-reckless-sleeveless-high-neck-knitted-top-and-maxi-skirt-co-ord-in-baby-blue/grp/210459813#colourWayId-209892751&productId-209892750

These are one of the best suggestions so far, although M&S satin can feel very scratchy.

I don’t think Vinted is at all a good idea for somebody who doesn’t really know what they like, so a trip to M&S would probably work better and probably not much more money than random things on Vinted.

Would you not wear something like this Cos dress, OP? https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/womenswear/dresses/longsleevedresses/product/belted-collarless-midi-shirt-dress-black-1318400001

I am a scruff but I have a couple of dresses like these, which I can wear anywhere?

Or something like this with a fine knit jumper and heeled boots? Dressier than cords but probably just as comfortable. www.marksandspencer.com/knitted-midaxi-column-skirt/p/clp60769903?color=WINE#intid=pid_pg1pip7g2r3c2%7Cprodflag_srp_ts_QP_17

I have a similar skirt from Uniqlo. They do one every year. Wear it with a chunky jumper. Very comfy.

@LongTermLurker ditch the cords and jumper idea. It IS frumpy.

Go with dark black jeans or trousers (skinny or slim fit), a silky blouse or cami top and a single breasted black blazer.

Wear a leather belt with gold buckle and accessories in gold like a pendant and earrings. Pointed toe shoes would be ideal.

This is a smart but casual look that is timeless and elegant. Similar to this M&S outfit (but do not go with Houndstooth!):
Slim Dogtooth Checked Blazer | SOSANDAR | M&S

I have a couple of old ones from Whistles which I love, but they no longer seem to do them, annoyingly.

I don't have an iron either, although I did get a streamer for shirts. You sound similar to me in style. Last time I went anywhere a bit dressy I wore black fine cords and a fine knit jumper with a nice necklace and my usual flat shoes. I have a black jacket from Zara that I wheel out for smart occasions and that went on top.

You can’t wear a jumper to a fancy set up. I’m not fashionable but even if draw the line at that. Silk blouse? Look at Mint Velvet and some styles on there. If you must do a jumper they have more dressy ones

This jumper with black velvet trousers would look good https://mintvelvet.com/products/ivory-crochet-sleeve-jumper

A fine knit fitted jumper with a necklace would be absolutely acceptable for most restaurants and bars.

Yes you can, you get plenty of jumpers you could wear. A silk blouse only is such a dated idea.

id happily wear these,

https://www.reiss.com/style/sv040750/w31590

https://www.reiss.com/style/su688971/f97674

https://www.meandem.com/brushed-cashmere-high-neck-slim-knit-vest-eden-green

Jumpers are fine. I just don't like that Sezanne one.

For 2011-21 this was my strategy too. I wear jumper and cords off the floor most of the time with trainers. They are all in school uniform type colours (black, grey, navy, olive, burgundy, brown) so I can get dressed in the dark. Then I have 3-4 Cos / Arket / LF Markey dresses which many on S&B would describe as unpleasant punishment sacks, readily available on Vinted, which I wear with black semi-opaques and an interestingish flat shoe (ancient Acne boots, Grenson creepers etc) if trainers won't cut it.

I have recently decided to dress up a bit more so on the odd occasions I surface, I am wearing more vintage and 60s collars etc, or like, a boilersuit but with good makeup and Simone Rocha earrings, but if you CBA with this then I think the first strategy is still essentially fine.

I do have a cool job though so I can get away with murder.

@EleanorMc67 "Also, you've said you won't need a coat but that you're always chilly & want jumper suggestions - & have bought a short velvet jacket that will not be remotely warm - nor does it look as if you could fit much under it ...?
Was it a bit of a panic buy? What if you spot - or someone recommends - a nicer jacket or coat?"

These are good points, and yes I think it was a panic buy. I still like it though. I might have a peruse around some charity shops for nice, warmer coats.

Just for context, I'm not on a massively tight budget, I just try to buy second hand where possible, to try and be more "eco". I'm also pretty much vegan, so sometimes try and fudge the issue around natural fibres (wool, silk) by not buying it new (yes, I know that's cheating 😆).

So, I'm really appreciating the various ideas and advice. I'm less drawn to the "spare" aesthetics (the outfits that look very clean, simple, elegant), and more steering towards fuzzy, velvety, textured and colourful.

I actually quite like this outfit, but the blouse isn't available in my size.

"Unpleasant punishment sacks"

I have a few of those! And I love them ...

But now I want to know what your cool job is!! And it's got me thinking - do I have a cool job? Can I get away with anything sartorially ...?? And do the two relate?? 🤔

Can you post a picture of your boots, OP?

I'd never heard of hobibears so had to look them up. I wasn't as aghast as I thought I might be ...!!! Do you need to wear proper wide-fit shoes/boots?

If you wear neutral colours it is easier to look smarter. Seasalt do some cropped wide leg sofa cords, those in cream might be good. With a short sleeved, collared spring jumper - try M and S. Plus a ballet flats or well polished black Chelsea boots.

I'd never heard of them either. They don't look worse than any other trainers.

@EleanorMc67 Do you work in the arts? I find the look people give you when they realise you're one of the poor saps scrabbling round for Arts Council funding (pity, I think it's called) means that you can just wear whatever total shit you like and everyone accepts it as you being arty

The side profile, no. From the front, hmmm ...

But then I only like "prettier" or cleaner styles of trainers. Nothing remotely athletic-looking - I dislike them visually & they look silly on me. Plus I'd feel like a fraud ...

The Wolfpaw & Harepaw ones are definitely not pretty!