Help needed for an inveterate scruff who needs to look presentable for cocktails and a meal out with dh's new boss.

[LongTermLurker]

I'm 50, size 10-12, 5'6". Usually wear kinda frumpy cords and woolly jumpers. Was thinking of the same sort of garments but fancier....like a fancy jumper and, erm...nice cords? Also always wear sensible wide toe shoes like hobibear, and I'm unwilling to wear any heels. So maybe some nice looking comfy shoes?

Would prefer to get stuff on vinted if possible.

Pleeeaaase help 🥺

What about these trousers, OP? I really rate Autograph right now.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/tailored-wide-leg-trousers-with-wool/p/clp60778377?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

If you do decide to wear the fine green jumper with the trousers, would this scarf go?

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/6482032083-vintage-jacqmar-silk-floral-square-scarf-1960s

That's a really nice jumper OP! Even if you don't wear it to the thing, I think you'll get a lot of wear out of it

These trousers look right up your street, @LongTermLurker ? One to save a search for on eBay/Vinted? (Love that they're called the Rampling trouser ... that woman is fabulous!)

https://www.withnothingunderneath.com/products/rampling-trouser-wool-dark-brown-herringbone

Here's another vintage Jacqmar scarf in shades of green that's really nice.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/4399883010/vintage-jacqmar-abstract-arty-print-silk?ref=share_ios_native_control

OP - I'm not sure what the forecast is looking like in your part of the UK for the weekend? But if it is to warm up, will your velvet jacket work ok? Have the crumples/creases come out - as usually only steaming/dry cleaning will help?

I did spot a few secondhand ones that might work if yours doesn't. And sellers will often post recorded first class if you ask & pay a little extra?

This velvet kimono one is a good shape. There is another one with its belt on eBay - but I'd ditch it anyway & cut the loops off. The fabric quality may not be great though. Would work with the blouse or jumper.

ebay.us/m/ls7BWn

Or this?

https://ebay.us/m/zVLdGV

Or - & you certainly won't feel underdressed in this, whatever you wear below ...

https://ebay.us/m/M91zM0

Ditto this one!

https://ebay.us/m/zhPJPx

A mixed update = I decided to get the Vinted stuff delivered to a locker rather than home, thinking it might ease the delivery process (not having to worry of I missed the delivery at home. God knows what's going on, but the parcels are pingponging back and forth between the locker and the depot. One of them (the fine-knit, presumably small jumper) has been returned to sender because it's "too large for the locker". FFS.

Anyway, I've just had a charity shop raid and have got the following:

Great Plains wool-blend trousers (very comfy, lined)
Hush floral blouse
M&S linen blend blouse (striped with a bit of shimmer)
L'Agence silk blouse (looks nicer in real life than in photo)
Boden wool wrap jumper
White Label light greay cashmere jumper (feels soooo light and soft, but suspect it might end up pilling)
Jodphur red cashmere jumper
Interesting voluminous teal/turquoise skirt - Has a kind of vintage chinese label. Having searched it, I think it's called a "horse faced skirt".
Navy/dark blue M&S shoes with a heel. Pointy. (Sad feet :-( )
Zara jacket, tweed with velvet accents on pockets

At the moment I'm inclined to go with the red jumper and blue skirt.

BTW @EleanorMc67 your suggestions are totally knocking it out of the park!! When I have more time / shopping stamina I will be returning to them. I really loved the pink velvet jigsaw shoes, but I'm size 7 and I think the biggest size available would be too small.

@LongTermLurker I love your chinese print skirt, very stylish indeed. You've got a stunning figure.

I bought those Jigsaw pink velvet trainers at the end of the winter sale in John Lewis - they're still in the box waiting for the better weather!

Oh wow, you hit the jackpot at the charity shop! Love the red-turquoise outfit, stunning!

I've stopped getting Vinted stuff delivered to a locker/store anymore, after two disasters out of three purchases (one lost, one sent back & forth & delayed by weeks). I just get them delivered to my home instead.

What happened to the green Monsoon blouse? And the velvet jacket that you were trying to de-crumple?

Glad you like some of them! You can do a check online on the Jigsaw website & see if a store has them in your size?

Blouse ping-ponging around... Velvet jacket probably needs more than passive wardrobe decrumpling. I think I'm happier with the tweedy Zara jacket anyway - it's a really good fit and actually goes really well with the trousers and hush floral blouse.

DD(21) had thrown shade on my preferred outfit. She says it's a bit too "loud" and bordering on cultural appropriation. Mind you, she works with accountants which had probably sensitised her to colour.

There is - apparently - a pair in Size 41 in the London Battersea store ... I know they won't arrive for the weekend, but they are such comfy trainers, it's worth hunting them down! Give them a call & see if you can get them posted to you!!

OP, you've had a cracking charity shop haul (and I admire your politeness and patience in the face of some quite...direct...comments about your style and choices).

Realistically, whilst I really hope you feel great in your outfit for this night out, the potential impact is pretty low...i.e., I don't think your husband's getting sacked if you're in the wrong natural fibre. And although I don't always agree with @PhaedraWas 's approach on S&B, I 100% agree with the assertion that "cocktails" can essentially mean they've chucked some elderflower cordial in there and charged you an extra tenner. It's not an automatic route to finesse and style!

Ok, back to your charity shop finds. Have had a good look at them all now, as I didn't want to reply hastily ...

I love charity shops, I love eBay, I love Vinted. I really can't remember the last time I bought clothing brand-new from the store (aside from undies). I am currently (like most days) clad top-to-toe in a mix of new-but-unworn, lightly worn & proper vintage clothing, footwear & jewellery.

But I also know only too well just how easy it is to buy things that aren't quite right - because I think I'm getting a bargain ... I still do it on occasion, especially because the Vinted model is (unlike eBay) set up to make you think "Oh wow, I'd better snap up this lime green & pink silk designer dress with minor staining that's two sizes too big - & it's only £40 but cost £250 - before somebody else does!!!!".

Or similar ... forgetting that lime green & pink don't suit me, the stains almost certainly won't come out, & I'll never get around to having it altered.

To me (& forgive me if I'm wrong, & being harsh) the items you've just bought don't say "I got incredibly lucky in the charity shops". Some are okay - but some look like panic buys to me again? And none of them really goes together - they seem like a bit of a supermarket sweep?

We have great charity shops here in Edinburgh - most of the best ones are just minutes away from me. But I wouldn't be able to go shopping in them one afternoon & pull together an entire outfit from them - unless fortune was really smiling on me that day. And I'm wondering how often you buy things from Vinted or charity shops that aren't quite right, just because they're a bargain? Like your velvet jacket that might de-crumple if you pay £20 to have it dry-cleaned, but probably not?? And that's why it was such a "bargain" on Vinted ...?!!!

My opinion (& it's mine only, & based on photos you took at home, so I might be way out, & your taste may well differ hugely from mine, though I think you've liked quite a lot of my suggestions ...):

• The jacket - seems ok, though possibly a bit too short & fitted to be "now". Zara so maybe not a high wool content? It needs to be worn with wider trousers on the bottom to make it work. A bit brown/taupe/greige again, which you seem to gravitate towards, though you said you love colour? This Me&Em jacket isn't dissimilar, & looks good worn with a really neat white shirt with long cuffs (pushed-up sleeves, half-in/half-out shirt, & jumper over shoulders all optional - in fact, to be avoided!).

• The Great Plains trousers. More greige. Good that they're wool, but the shape doesn't look contemporary. More of a kickflare & not long enough?? Especially not with the shoes - might work with trainers.

• The Hush floral blouse. Looks pretty enough & has some colour in it - but that's completely drained out of it when paired with greige ... Would work with black fine wool wide trousers or wide indigo jeans, or even rust/terracotta wide cords (but it is spring & you've been buying quite a lot of wintry stuff already?!). You said you weren't sure of black on you - then wear it on your bottom half, don't dismiss it? (But don't let the cat sleep on it!) Bring out the warmth in with tan bag/loafers? See similar Me&Em blouse & how it's styled - & get yourself a really good belt or two (I'd go for one black & one tan) to wear with all your trousers. (That is one thing I bought new, come to think of it, albeit in the sale at Jigsaw.)

• The M&S linen striped blouse - it's the one in this photo, yes? Looks like quite a nice summer buy to wear with wide indigo jeans & trainers/chunky sandals. But doesn't go with anything else in the photos. It's a different (minty, cool, blue-based) green to the coat & jumper etc that you bought, & wouldn't go with those tones (also it's summery) - stick with white & denim/navy with it?

Wow you're even harsher than DD 😂. The reality is that i usually do the absolute bare minimum when it comes to buying clothes. I don't usually do charity shops because it's very inefficient (no search and filter!). I usually just buy multiples of the thing I like (eg the same cords/jeans/t-shirts) in different colours, and that's that. I'm not usually aiming for "put together", so much as "not offensive to look at". So I might commit crimes against fashion, but not of the random charity shop flavour you suspect!

DD is strongly steering me towards the floral blouse, beige wool trousers, and tweedy jacket, which I think will be fine. It's DH's leaving do soon, so I can give some of the other stuff a spin for that.

Vinted stuff still hasn't arrived.

Continued!!

• The Boden taupe wrap cardie & the grey cashmere - they might be warm, they might be versatile - but to me they look kind of drab ... especially with all the other greige items ... They need lifted with colour IMO. Doesn't need to be bright - other toning neutrals can work, eg navy/black/white/chocolate. The wrap cardie would work with wide trousers or a gathered skirt - or a silk/satin slip skirt. & Other Stories examples here (miserable expression & dominatrix leather gloves maybe not for everyday wear ...).

I know - I am being a bit harsh! I'm sorry - but I'm trying to suggest some ideas for wearing/styling things too ...

The M&S pointed navy shoes - are they just plain courts??? As they don't go with anything above. I can't really see them properly in the photos, but pointed flats are more contemporary & would go with many more of the types of clothing you wear, from what I can see? It's a no from me ...!!

The red cashmere jumper - presume it's just a plain jumper - if so, good find. Don't know the brand though Google says it might be a Galeries Lafayette label?! It looks like a good colour on you - are you quite dark-haired?

I like beige/cream with red. Have you tried it on with your wide M&S ones? And have you appropriated a belt from one of your children/your husband yet ...?!

You could add a short- or long-sleeved white or striped T-shirt below. Massimo Dutti image attached. I'd possibly wear my red Portand Jigsaw trainers with that ... (£35 on Vinted!!). But I'd probably steer myself away from being too matchy-matchy & wear tan footwear.