Does having nice things make you happy personally?

[TheOGCCL]

I”m in a period of reflection about my spending habits with clothes (let’s leave aside all the beauty products). I’ve long been on the no/low buy threads, I started one year’s.

Modern wisdom seems to say that, after a certain point to make sure you are warm and covered, buying new stuff doesn’t make you any happier. That we are all victims of the capitalist hedonistic treadmill just wanting more acquisition. That this week’s new top has an enjoyable novelty but that fades fast. This board is fully of people decluttering things they probably shouldn’t have bought.

But when I do spend money on the right things I think it does make a difference to the way I feel about myself and how easy it is to get dressed. Do I need to do some work on myself or do I just like having nice things? How do you reconcile spending on clothes knowing it’s mostly discretionary? How do you give yourself permission? How do you know when to stop? (Obviously finances are one big lever but I’m more interested in others).

I think it’s not the ‘nice things’ themselves that bring happiness, but what they can give you - confidence, a feeling of self-worth, pleasure of self-expression etc. There’s nothing shameful about that.

Having said that, it’s important to acquire things mindfully. Really consider what function any item will serve etc. Too much easily becomes overwhelming and counterproductive.

I think I get more joy from clothes now I have found ‘my’ style. This also means I buy less generally but probably spend a bit more per item because I’m confident I’ll get the wear out of it.
I tend to purchase when I spot something that fills a gap in my wardrobe, I also stalk items for a while and wait to see if there is a price drop if it is on the more expensive side, if the price drops and I still love it, I’ll swoop!

For me it isn’t about ‘having nice things’ in an amorphous sense - it’s about building a present and foreseeable future where I can feel confident that I have clothes I’ll really want to wear, that work for my life and convey something of who I am to other people.

I’ve spent a lifetime obsessed with beautiful clothes and the craft and artistry of creating them - but I’m not curating a museum, I’m maintaining my wardrobe. I buy the best I can access, and never have more than I can easily manage in my head, so nothing sits unworn. It’s the opposite of profligate.

Also, as I get older, I’m conscious of wanting to ensure I have a solid store of lovely things for a time when I may be less able to shop for myself. No one is putting me in Damart …

Is it about nice things or new things ?

I have bought things I like / colours I like etc - but I don’t buy that often because there is only so many days in a year - and wear to destruction basically - because I do really like the things I have

Yes. I grew up on a grotty council estate, the inside of our house was actually really nice (my mum did a great job) but as soon as I stepped outside it was just grotty as fuck. Now I have nice things and I take a lot of comfort in that. Nice doesn’t have to be expensive for me though, I don’t mind second hand or anything like that.

I'm very selective about what I buy. I also repeated outfits at lot. If it made me feel great once I wear it again and again. I also really try to buy clothes that are well made.
My outfit today was a striped cotton shirt. It's beautifully made with a few lovely touches. I found it in a charity shop. I wore it with black pants, a black belt which was from next but maybe 20 years old and a pair of boots which must be 4 or 5 years old. I had compliments on them today. I've worn this outfit twice this month.

I'm on a similar journey. I think there is a limit. If I have 20 nice coats, buying another one probably won't have an impact. However, if I feel like "I don't have a nice coat", and hate putting on the coat I have, and feel a bit embarrassed to be seen in it - then yes, buying a nice one WILL make a difference.

Also having choice: I have a nice brown bag, but not a nice black bag, so I keep making compromises (e.g. mismatched outfits, taking the black bag i don't like). Again, here i think it makes a difference.

I think this principle can be applied to other things: skin care, a nice candle, a meal out.

However, what you said in your post really resonates. I find the balance difficult - I'm someone who used to have issues with spending when I was younger, then I went very low spend for 10 yeas and it worked for me, and I didn't miss most things. But now I'm at an age, and have a financial security, where I can invest in beauty again, and want to be more deliberate about my image and how I show up.

In terms of stopping, I set a budget for truely discretionary (e.g., I will buy one designer handbag this year), and am more relaxed about everyday - none of my jeans fit properly, I will buy two pairs of jeans i love. I still don't shop as a hoby or buy things on impulse, most spends are planned and deliberate based on what I feel I "need". If it's an event (e.g., work Xmas party, wedding, birthday) I try to reuse what I have first before decided whether I really need something new as these will be low use items.

Nice to have.. but definitely doesn’t make me happy. Might be happy the moment I get it and enjoy wearing it, but that isn’t “happiness”.

Yes it makes me happy, but I don’t buy a lot of things - so when I do it’s something I have made sure I really want.

I rarely buy something the first time I see it / think I might like it. I will wait and if I still find myself thinking about that item often I will buy it. For smaller spends this might be a few days, for bigger items I will wait months. Unless of course it’s replacing something that is genuinely worn out or broken.

I have a few things I’ve bought that everytime I used them / wear them they make me smile and I feel good in them. One that stands out to me is a swimsuit.

I have a hobby where I spend a lot of time in the water.

I used to buy decent swimwear but always whatever was on sale and I would wear it until it was no longer functional. It was never the exact thing I’d have chosen.

Then there was one swimsuit I coveted for an entire year before I invested (it was very expensive for a swimsuit) and honestly it brings me so much joy every time I wear it.

Of course I’ve had misses too where I’ve bought something I thought I’d love forever and gone off it, but I find the waiting period helps me realise what I actually want vs what’s just a fancy.

Yes nice clothes make me happy. At the moment I'm quite restricted in what I can wear (temporary thing) but I'm still enjoying figuring out getting dressed every day, and wearing something nice that's also fit for purpose really lifts my mood.

The main things that stop me are finances and space. Environmental/ethical concerns play a part although I ease my conscience {and my bank balance) a bit by buying mainly second hand. But I don't always pay as much attention as I should to provenance.

Also I don't necessarily have to own the clothes. I can enjoy Phoebe Philo on my Instagram while knowing l could never afford her stuff in a million years. I enjoy looking at links on this board of beautiful, expensive clothes without feeling aggrieved that I can't buy them.

Nice food also makes me happy but I'm indifferent to some things. I don't care about having a nice car as long as it works. I enjoy a nice holiday but it doesn't spoil my year if I don't get one.

I look around my home at the nice vintage furniture (G Plan, Ercol), our Sage coffee machine, our big rattan bed and my dressing table that I sit at daily, and the precious items I've moved with me everywhere I've ever lived, and it brings me so much joy.

Tat I've bought from B&M and The Range? No.

No it doesn't if you are not happy anyway, imo.

Ive been thru periods with loads of disposable income and its never made me 'happy'.

Even Victoria Beckham wants a bigger yacht!

Well all I can say is that, whenever I'm feeling... I wouldn't call it unhappy or depressed but definitely a bit sorry for myself, getting dressed in a nice outfit never fails to lift my mood.

When it comes to 'things' what makes me happiest is having as few things as I can possibly get away with. I only have one pair of winter boots, but they are the best boots I could afford, they are comfortable, stylish and make me feel happy every time I see them. If they wear out I will buy another pair the same.

Since I've downsized I live my whole life like this and it's so freeing. No piles of crap, no guilt, no waste and everything I own is useful, used and lovely.

Any reflections on the clothes in your wardrobe, rather than the manufacturer of said wardrobe, @OneWorthyLemonCat? 😄 (This is Style & Beauty …)

It used to. But then my 8 year old died and I kind of don't care anymore. I still keep things clean and tidy. It might be depression though.

Apologies, I missed that!

I feel the same about my clothes. It's the small details that elevate a piece and make me feel great wearing it. A beautiful silk blouse with fabric covered buttons, or a patterned dress / coat / pair of trousers where the item is pattern-matched down the seams etc. Those small details generally feature in my more expensive items.

I never go for quantity though. I have a very slim wardrobe with not a lot in it.

I’m nearly 60 but have just got into skin care and I love buying new serums,a light mask and maybe some new lip glosses.First time I’ve had any spare money just for me to buy myself stuff.Its not the super pricey stuff but it’s more than I’ve ever spent on my face before, that an a new pair of Converse make me happy

I like nice things but not if the silk blouse or dressy clothes variety. I like a good pair of trainers that are just right or a jacket that actually fits and looks good with my other clothes etc. I look for things that fit me well because in the past I have fallen for the idea that spending more is better. But if the expensive shoes are uncomfortable or the jacket is a bit big on the shoulders, it is a waste of money. I also try to buy for my actual lifestyle (wfh and going out for casual drinks) rather than my fantasy life.

I think having fewer, good quality things makes me happy, but having too much stuff has the opposite effect and makes me overwhelmed, even if it's all lovely.

Yes, nice things make me happy. Last week, it was two diffuser refills. The smell makes me smile.

Absolutely, I work for my money and one of my joys is buying nice stuff with it, wearing nice clothes and having nice things in my home, of course there are many other reasons I work, and what I do with that money, but no I don’t want to work and then live frugally for the joy of it.

I’m sorry 💐

Also, as I get older, I’m conscious of wanting to ensure I have a solid store of lovely things for a time when I may be less able to shop for myself. No one is putting me in Damart …

This. And everything I own is worn, maybe not terribly regularly but nothing languishes.

I am in the office 5 days and I change when I get home. Outside clothes, whether work or social or frankly just leaving the house, are the newer ones, (but not always, I have Sophie D'Hoore, Pauw and Lillith outside clothes which could easily be 10-15 years old).

Inside clothes are older. Some of the inside clothes might be Samantha Sung shirt dresses from around 2008, or some Edina Ronay and Palava dresses which well predate Covid. I don't want to get rid of them, still like them but slightly bored of them as outside clothes.

I get a great deal of pleasure out of my clothes.

Yes, really happy 😊 Especially pjs and dressing gowns. There's nothing like having a bath/shower at the weekend and getting into new ones 😍
Aside from that I like to have my favourite foods, drinks, makeup. Having to give them up would probably make me sad.