Thread 2 – De-influencing thread: reasons not to buy things

[Whowhatwerewolf]

Starting Thread 2 as Thread 1 has nearly reached the comment limit.

For anyone new: this thread has a specific purpose. If you are considering buying something but deep down would prefer to save your money, post a link to the item. Other posters will help talk you out of it.

Humour and gentle mockery are very much part of how this thread works, alongside more practical points. Sometimes a light-hearted comment helps something click; other times it’s about noticing details that are easy to miss when you’re tempted.

Common tactics include:

• poking fun (so please don't post something if your feelings will be hurt by this)
• pointing out that you already own something that serves the same purpose
• spotting poor quality, flimsy construction or inferior fabrics hiding behind good photography
• questioning whether the item solves a problem that actually exists
• translating marketing language into plain English

What this thread is not:

• mocking people who wear the item
• ageist sniping (calling something “granny” is actually praise)
• cruelty for its own sake

The target is the thing, not the person.

The previous thread is here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5482885-de-influencing-thread-reasons-why-not-to-buy-things?latest=1

In it we covered a lot of ground including a sad tangerine skirt, another one that looked like it was tucked into your underpants, Gary Glitter shoes, saggy bottoms, air wraps gathering dust and lots of polyester at premium prices.

Also worth restating, based on Thread 1:
This is not a balanced debate thread. It is not “let’s hear both sides”. People who posted positive comments about items were, quite rightly, sent to the naughty corner. This is not the thread for that.

This thread is for people who want to be de-influenced, not gently nudged towards a purchase they already know they’re going to make.

If you’re hovering over Add to basket and need someone to say “step away”, post the link.
If you’re good at spotting polyester pretending to be wool, please contribute.

Thread 2 begins. Same format. Same aim.

As cortietat says, "signature viscose blend' is awfully pretentious. The rest of the blend is probably synthetics. Can't see it retaining the soft drapeiness for long - even with the faffy cleaning they advise. How many times have you washed the one you already have?

But... Jaki has brought out their draped sweater in my best colour. Dusty blue is not anyone's best colour. It's too easy to wear and too lowest common denominator, middle of the road. It's an M&S colour. You've already got one version and it's not as if it's difficult to find clothes in a dusty blue colour.

The other Jaki asymmetric knitwear are either 50% Viscose, 27% Polyester, 23% Polyamide or Signature Viscose Blend.

Well I don't know about @KatharinaRosalie but I'm now de-influenced after being very nearly influenced. Thanks @CortieTat , @StylishAndBeautiful , @NesciensMater and @EleanorMc67 . I get really turned off when companies try to take their customers for fools which is feels to me like Jaki is doing

It was the colour of my school uniform shirt. Gives me convent school trauma & looks like shit on me!! But it's very "in" this year so will be appearing everywhere ...

I’m delighted there will be plenty of it. With blue eyes and silver hair it suits me better than any other colour, even if it is an M&S colour.

You will have a bumper year then, & it does sound perfect for you!

I shall instead be grateful that I won't be tempted in the shops & (as a redhead-now-strawberry-blonde) will stick with all the lovely greens, ambers, rusty reds, corals, inky blues etc that suit me & I have plenty of already ...!!

Thanks, @Whowhatwerewolf . I think I'm pretty good at this.
Is it just me or are a lot of the items linked on S&B threads pretty undesirable?

A lot of them are, a lot of them aren't. Some things tempt me, some make me marvel at what people think is good-quality.

What I find surprising though is how dominated it is by new clothing. Especially when people are wanting something special for a wedding or party. I would automatically look at vintage gowns etc first, as the quality & craftsmanship far surpasses anything new, including designer labels. Yet when I've posted amazing dresses from Etsy that are, say, vintage silk 1960s Balmain, no-one seems remotely interested. It really perplexes me that someone would prefer a Hobbs dress in a synthetic fabric for the same price that lots of other people have, instead of something so beautiful & unique ...

@EleanorMc67 You make a good case, but I've never bought secondhand clothes online because:

I would never buy something I couldn't return. I don't know much about buying clothing on the likes of Ebay and Etsy, but even if it's theoretically possible, I'd still be nervous with a private seller. If something were to go wrong I wouldn't have a practical way of getting redress.

I'm always reluctant to buy (pay postage for) something unless there's a reasonable chance it's going to fit and suit me. When I shop for new clothes I always look at the size guide and I've made a point of learning how to translate the multiple online images into how something will look on me. I don't buy even new stuff if there aren't decent pics. Secondhand sellers don't seem to provide much information. I want the fabric composition and photos that are good enough to enable me to gauge how it'll look on me. If there's no readily available size guide I want garment measurements and an image showing exactly where they were taken.

I'm nervous about wear and tear. Probably less so for a special occasion item, but anything else and I'd be asking myself why someone is selling.

Browsing is time-consuming. I'm not a fashionista, I don't buy clothes very often and I simply don't feel competent to buy this way.

The wedding ones are usually sleeveless and polyester. Nearly every wedding I've been to has meant sitting in a cold church and then standing around outside while the photographs were being taken.

unfortunately I am a natural mousy blonde with blue eyes, so yes that is a great colour on me and I also foresee many challenges this season, as indeed the blue is supposed to be everywhere.

the sweater, I have it in navy and have washed it a number of times, so far looks still fine. I have unfortunately failed and ordered the dusty blue. But will try to Vint the Reiss one, which is still a very nice item, just don't need to largely similar ones.

You just need a wee tutorial!!! Also, my post above was more to do with "proper" vintage clothing, not used or new modern clothing. I shop for & wear both, but have been a lover of genuine vintage clothing from the 1920s to 1970s since I was a young teen. There are some really exquisite clothes from those eras, often from well-known designers of that time, that have been stored carefully & often cost less than something in polyester from a high-street chain. I love the circularity & sustainability of buying gorgeous vintage pieces, & sometimes will get the story of a previous owner. I even have a beautiful 60s brocade evening gown with a photograph of the seller's mother wearing it!!

With modern brands, I generally know which ones I really like, & what their sizing is like - as I have tried them on in store &/or already have similar clothes from them. So I may have to check with the seller about a couple of things, but I feel fairly confident in my purchases, & rarely get it wrong. If I do, I resell it. Or, with some sellers/websites, you can actually return things (though pay for postage).

I am relatively new to Vinted, & have only bought new or used modern clothing (including bags & shoes). However, I can see how it would be overwhelming & offputting for anyone who's never bought secondhand before - I've been an eBay devotee for maybe 30 years, & the two are quite different. Lots of things have only one or two fuzzy photos, are crumpled & unironed, the proper sizing isn't given & there's no fabric composition provided. However, it is quite intuitive in terms of showing you things from brands that you like, in the sizes you wear, after you spend a bit of time on there searching for things.

I think of eBay as being a bit like a well-organised charity shop - whereas Vinted is more like a jumble sale!!! And Etsy is proper vintage (though you have to tick a box specifying that to avoid modern copies etc, but thats quite easy.)

Have a look through your own wardrobe & see if you have any favourite pieces - say, a jumper that you love & know you'd wear in a different colour. Then have a look online for "Jaeger cashmere jumper UK 16", or whatever. If you have a friend or relative who shops this way a lot, they can show you how to filter to narrow the parameters. Or just have a play around!

You can save searches for things you'd love to find. I've only done this on eBay, but have found shoes, coats, bags etc that I loved in the shop but they'd sold out of my size or colour etc. It's very satisfying!!!

@EleanorMc67 That's generous advice, but I'm unlikely to invest the time. If I ever want a proper vintage outfit I shall just ask the good women of S&B for suggestions! In many ways a de-influencing thread is perfect for me as I am much better at not buying clothes than buying them!

I get much vicarious pleasure from looking for others! So please do, if you ever have the urge 😁!!

it's me again. I saw a woman wearing a butter yellow - light blue combo outfit and I'm obsessed. She looked so fresh and summery. I am now convinced I need yellow clothes. The issue with this need is:

• as usual, I don't need any more clothes
• I don't wear yellow. I literally do not have a single yellow item, not one.
• with my colouring I definitely can't do any warm, bright or mustard shades, only very pale butter yellow. This has very high risk of looking like I am wearing a white item that has yellowed with age, doesn't it?

But I can't get that outfit out of my head.

Just yellow is so … in, isn’t it. Literally just walked into Sainsbury’s and the entire Tu clothing display is butter yellow and pale blue.

It’ll be out of fashion in a flash, and into landfill.

It will. And if you’re anything like me you’ll look like a corpse in it.

I saw WhoWhatWear touting it as the spring hot colour combo a day or two ago.

It’s not for me. Pastels always look just non-committal and pissy. I’m very much a do it or don’t bother when it comes to colour and just can’t see the point of something so pale it’s either looking like it’s white yellowed with age or got into a jeans wash.

And it will date in a second.

I saw WhoWhatWear touting it as the spring hot colour combo a day or two ago.
That site promises so much and delivers so little.

SO TRUE!

I haven’t found much that really encourages me to spend!

I can't quite put my finger on it but it just seems so uninspiring.

@TragicMuse unfortunately I do look best in muted greyish pastels, can't deny it, I've tried.
I hear you about it being dated in a minute though. And if I have not worn any yellow so far, why do I even imagine I suddenly will? I have bought a yellow items every now and then, left them in the drawer for a few years and then donated to charity.

oh and just checked, according to WhoWhatWear, butter yellow is sooooo last year already

@KatharinaRosalie And if I have not worn any yellow so far, why do I even imagine I suddenly will? I have bought a yellow items every now and then, left them in the drawer for a few years and then donated to charity.
At the risk of suggesting the bloody obvious, have you had a rummage in your drawers for the remnants of the last time you succumbed to buttery yellow?

Alternatively - and I admit this is a bit leftfield - have you thought about satisfying your urge to introduce a bit of yellow into your life in other ways? I love colour, but I don't wear them all. Yellow is the colour of spring for me, but in the garden, not on me... I can look out on loads of yellow daffs, primroses, celandines and oxlips just now. Even if you're not a garden person, you can buy yellow daffs and tulips quite cheaply (and you can get British grown daffs if sustainability matters).

Go to a grocery outlet and buy a block of British butter instead.