Thread 2 – De-influencing thread: reasons not to buy things

[Whowhatwerewolf]

Starting Thread 2 as Thread 1 has nearly reached the comment limit.

For anyone new: this thread has a specific purpose. If you are considering buying something but deep down would prefer to save your money, post a link to the item. Other posters will help talk you out of it.

Humour and gentle mockery are very much part of how this thread works, alongside more practical points. Sometimes a light-hearted comment helps something click; other times it’s about noticing details that are easy to miss when you’re tempted.

Common tactics include:

• poking fun (so please don't post something if your feelings will be hurt by this)
• pointing out that you already own something that serves the same purpose
• spotting poor quality, flimsy construction or inferior fabrics hiding behind good photography
• questioning whether the item solves a problem that actually exists
• translating marketing language into plain English

What this thread is not:

• mocking people who wear the item
• ageist sniping (calling something “granny” is actually praise)
• cruelty for its own sake

The target is the thing, not the person.

The previous thread is here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5482885-de-influencing-thread-reasons-why-not-to-buy-things?latest=1

In it we covered a lot of ground including a sad tangerine skirt, another one that looked like it was tucked into your underpants, Gary Glitter shoes, saggy bottoms, air wraps gathering dust and lots of polyester at premium prices.

Also worth restating, based on Thread 1:
This is not a balanced debate thread. It is not “let’s hear both sides”. People who posted positive comments about items were, quite rightly, sent to the naughty corner. This is not the thread for that.

This thread is for people who want to be de-influenced, not gently nudged towards a purchase they already know they’re going to make.

If you’re hovering over Add to basket and need someone to say “step away”, post the link.
If you’re good at spotting polyester pretending to be wool, please contribute.

Thread 2 begins. Same format. Same aim.

I suppose we will!!

If I were going to take offence though, I'd be offended by being called unstylish just as much - in fact, a lot more - than grannyish. It's the intent of the commentator that matters more than their wording.

And there is no ambiguity in being called unstylish & dated - it is simply critical in a somewhat unkind way. And I know in my day-to-day apparel I'm neither. Whereas if someone called my sheepskin slippers grannyish, I'd laugh - because they are!! But I don't care - they're only ever worn indoors in winter as I get cold feet these days much more easily ... I don't subject anyone to my grannyish feet except my partner - who has his own pair 😁!!!

@NoWeddingHats That kilt is very reminiscent of my secondary school uniform. I didn't like it then.......................

Yes, it's definitely got school vibes!

God rest her soul, that is giving Queen Elizabeth vibes. The only person alive who could pull that off is Claudia.

I could pull it off. Or at least I think I could but would probably look like EIIR.

Btw, @Whowhatwerewolf , apologies for the derailment by me about what constitutes ageism ...!!! Not the point of this thread though ...

It's been an interesting read so far though, so thanks to @StylishAndBeautiful for introducing me to it - & for the accompanying naughty thread!

What I buy is mostly secondhand or new but from eBay - which I've been a huge fan & user of for years. And occasional sale purchases from favourite high-street shops where I rate the quality & design. Rarely designer unless I get very lucky.

But now that Vinted has improved so much from its rather cheap & tatty Primark-laden early days, I've been splurging more unwisely than usual. Just because it's secondhand doesn't mean I need something any more than if it was new. So thanks for reminding me of that!!

No worries at all — a bit of drift is inevitable and I think part of how these threads will start to feel like a community rather than a shopping list 🙂 And the ageism topic is so important.

The only thing it would be nice to try and hold the line on is derailments that nudge people back into buying rather than reflecting. The chat, shared experiences and realisations (like the Vinted one you’ve just talked about which I really relate to) are exactly the point.

Glad you’re here — and glad the naughty corner exists so we can all behave most of the time.

Thanks @EleanorMc67 .

Years ago I loved a distinctive jacket and every time I was in the nearest big city I'd go to the department store and look at it. When the January sales were on it was there and half-price. I no longer wanted it.
A few weeks later one of the characters in a prime time soap opera was wearing the same jacket. (It wasn't Vera Duckworth or Bet Lynch but enough to make me glad I hadn't forked out for it.)

@NoWeddingHats I think your longing for the kilt requires a bit of soul searching. Do you want it because it’s your style and you enjoy wearing checkered/patterned skirts (I do, so I fully understand) and have a lot of other things in your wardrobe to go with it, or because some random celebrity has worn a kilt? If it’s the latter, it hardly ever brings you pleasure, you’ll end up comparing yourself to that celebrity and as PP said you might need other items, including a castle 🏰 to style that kilt.

IMO buying such an expensive thing, which is (I assume) made really well and of good quality materials is all about getting the most of it and feeling that it really suits your style. If it does, I’d say go for it. If it doesn’t, it will only bring you a short lasting moment of joy.

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned I tried a silk sleep cap and it looked utterly ridiculous, didn’t stay on and had no effect on my curly hair. I know people swear by them, but it didn’t work for me.

I love kilts and have more than one. That one is lovely but I wouldn't wear it enough and I think people would think it looked better on CW.

When tempted, ask yourself if you are buying it for the lifestyle you'd like to have.

I understand what you're saying and I agree, but if this was said to me I would gently point out that it's an ageist term. Maybe compare it to using sexist language - they might get the point? Then again they might just write me off as a hopelessly unfashionable gran and that's OK by me.

I suppose it's all about the context in which it's used, to me anyway?

If someone called my slippers granny-ish, I'd probably smile & agree as they're using it to mean old-fashioned - which they are, & I don't care.

If someone at a work meeting (male or female, but especially male) called me granny-ish in relation to anything - what I was wearing, how I was speaking, what my opinions were - then that IS ageist in that context, & I would absolutely point that out (probably NOT very gently!!!).

A younger woman I'm quite friendly with (she's 20 or 25 years younger than me) refers to me sometimes as her "cool auntie", which I was quite flattered by ... but now I'm wondering - is that ageist too ...?!!! 🤔

I think that's a good point, it's tempting to buy something for a lifestyle you'd like, rather than the one you have.
Always try to imagine what you'd where it with, and what the circumstances would be.

God that’s awful

A cool auntie sounds really nice - I'd be flattered!

I ended up buying the yarn. Put my handspun next to the scarf and realised it wasn’t going to work.

At the risk of being sent to the naughty corner - I was secretly hoping you would. Not worth potentially messing up a project you're putting a lot of work into over a little bit of yarn.

How funny! You've reminded of the time that my sister took great delight in telling me that she'd seen Lorraine Kelly on TV wearing the same top I'd bought a few weeks previously ... I didn't wear it much after that ...

Thanks for your interest. It’s always been my style! I suit long pleated skirts, chunky jumpers and brogues. Claudia stole my style! I have loads of nice jumpers and boots. I also own quite a few checked skirts and kilts, midi and mini, from places like Boden and Celtic and Co. I really love the feel of the pure wool ones.

Though owning several already probably means I don’t need another one 😭

I shall remain flattered then - thank you!! (I like to hang on for dear life to any compliment that comes my way these days 😁!!)

Well in that case you've really going to be in luck in a year or two when all the pleated tartan skirts of the people who jumped on the CW bandwagon start coming onto the second hand market. I say hold out until then.

Then I would probably go for it if I were you to be honest goes to sit in the naughty corner
My last check would be if I had something very similar already.

@EleanorMc67, It would put me off too.
The character wore it a lot as an everyday coat and it was very distinctive.

@NoWeddingHats , I was wearing them before Claudia too. I like Princess Kate's blanket coat, but I think it might not look as good on me. I'd probably look like a sofa in it.