Plus size Wedding guest dress

[Frustratedandannoyed81]

Please be kind. Back story: I’ve had medical issues (digestive) for a few years (I’m 44), and I take a lot of medication including steroids. The medication, inability to eat healthily as my body can’t tolerate fruit and veg or fibre, and being so tired and arthritic that I can’t exercise, has made me pile on the weight. I also have lipedema so I have large legs and arms.
I am a size 22 with a large bottom and large apron tummy (I had 2 late MC in my 30s) and my stomach never went back to normal.
The change in my body has ruined any scrap of confidence I had.
I am the biggest I’ve ever been and I hate it.
My niece is getting married end of Feb and I am struggling to find a dress which fits properly and is as flattering as it can be!
They either look like sacks or my tummy and belly stick out more than they do in my other clothes.
I need a dress (I can’t wear two pieces or trousers as I can’t have anything round my stomach as it’s painful and I am often bloated).
It needs to be midaxi/maxi (I’m 5’1) to cover my lipedema legs.

My usual day to day attire is a long dress and chunky long cardigan which I find comfortable but it’s not smart for a wedding.

I need something that’s suitable for a February wedding or ideas on what to wear as a cover up.
I really want to attend the wedding, but, I’m nervous about seeing people I’ve not seen in years and I don’t want to spoil my niece and her husband’s wedding photos.

What's your budget? I'm sure we could find some lovely dresses with that info!

can you post a photo of your figure or someone with a similar figure.

Your frame and proportions matter with dresses

you can and will look gorgeous and we can help!!

also shoes- can you do heels or flat?

Do you want a coat or cover up too for the cold!

also some broad choices:
Floral plain and lace?
bright dark or pastel?

soft or structured?
wrap dress or no wrap dress?
sleeves or no sleeves?

What sort of colouring do you have? What colours do you like?
I was a size 18/20 apple shape and liked Monsoon for flattering dresses.

Look at Scarlett and Jo website, fabulous dresses for all sizes but styled to flatter plus sizes. Also available from John Lewis online. You would need to check for length though.

How about a very plain dress in black or navy with something like this on top? https://saharalondon.com/products/velvet-blurred-botanicals-kimono-aw25?variant=56452817977725&currency=GBP&source=google&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22379234282&gbraid=0AAAAAC5SyT8TZTe5w90rBZQ7Gj4dXOvnL&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7fbLBhDJARIsAOAqhse6dgGqfS1izSXbZfIm0AGYSoK9It9qZX3j-U64njH5BV-xQV-zEvQaAliZEALw_wcB

Then you would have the feel of your long cardigan and it looks beautiful and colourful and will give you warmth?

My go to wedding attire is a black base layer (so for a wedding long A line skirt) and black cami with a flowy kimono style jacket over, that is long enough to cover my butt. In the winter this could be more velvet, in the summer a lighter silk or devore velvet. Some striking jewelry. Get your hair done and wear appropriate make up. Nice clutch. Stand tall and smile. You’ll look fab!

Firstly- your size is the least interesting thing about you. You won’t ruin photos, I look at my wedding pics and am just delighted all the people I loved were there, I couldn’t care less what size/shape they were.

What style/shape/colours of clothes do you prefer to wear at the moment?

If you can throw some money at the issue Marina Rinaldi are fab, they have a weird sizing system but I think UK22 is Marina Rinaldi 27.

For example if it’s a typical day time wedding- https://ie.marinarinaldi.com/p-8221016606016-mrsceppo-optical-white?_gl=1mjmh2l_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7fbLBhDJARIsAOAqhsexVfsd76wp7BkfxFgueP8CJKOoUFjhFGR2nlNeoVHiaZWLCFvAmbIaAgMtEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&gbraid=0AAAAADogweuw3js-ASafS9KkRByPoUWG-

If it’s more dressy- https://ie.marinarinaldi.com/p-7226095606030-arte-emerald?_gl=1onr1ig_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7fbLBhDJARIsAOAqhsexVfsd76wp7BkfxFgueP8CJKOoUFjhFGR2nlNeoVHiaZWLCFvAmbIaAgMtEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&gbraid=0AAAAADogweuw3js-ASafS9KkRByPoUWG-

It’s tough when all we have is a list of things you don’t like. I mean this very kindly, I was in the past a size 18-20 and I was so focused on my size and wearing flattering clothes. Even before I lost weight I did a lot of work on caring for myself at any size, bought some lovely expensive clothes and decided that I deserved nice things and it made a massive difference to my self confidence and the way others treated me. There are so many plus size women who look fabulous- move away from this idea that flattering is the most important thing and start to think about what you actually love.

Have you looked at Scarlett & Jo? My sister got a beautiful dress from there for my nieces wedding.

www.scarlettandjo.com/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12444607619&gbraid=0AAAAABh_Mv6JkB_sGDivsarQtIl9qe_l3&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7fbLBhDJARIsAOAqhseOYKiLgpBZpAQDS2ZSmBqGBslKGeH6Hg6mRTaRY3AlcCBSEQUWHJYaAgYcEALw_wcB

Now list all the good parts. What colour hair, what colours suit you, what styles you like.

What have you tried and not liked?

as for your niece she will just be thrilled you are there, she won’t care what you are wearing.

Ullapopken have some gorgeous dresses, they are a German company but have a UK website and at the moment have a lot of sale dresses. I had come across the place when I was in Berlin around 20 years ago and I have only just got rid of a top as it was worn out. At the time it was far better than any clothes from Britain.

I've been a size 22 for years and have always still loved dressing up for weddings etc so don't let your size bother you. Having the opportunity to put on makeup, wear nice dresses, shoes, jewellery is fun, enjoy it! No one will be judging you, they'll all be focused on the bride & groom, worrying about their own appearance or just enjoying the day.

Last year I wore a scarlet & Jo dress for a wedding. They do hundreds of colours and patterns, plenty of sizes, mostly midi or maxi, and you can buy from places like Next and John Lewis as well as directly from them so you can sometimes find them on offer. They tend to have angel/fluted sleeves which are perfect for covering up arms and are nice & loose on the waist while still looking fitted. I'm 5'1 too and the midi length was quite long, I think a maxi would be too long for you. I wore it with nude tights and black sandals as it was summer but in winter I'd probably wear black tights and black shoes. Snag is excellent for tights if you need any.

if you don't like the scarlet & Jo dresses, my go-tos are Yours and Simply Be. Both have loads of pretty occasion dresses, often with good cover-up sleeves and midi/maxi lengths. At our height I wouldn't bother trying any maxis though, they'll be too long. I've found short, loose sleeves are better than sleeveless with a cover up. I'll add a couple of links but it depends what your taste is, if you browse I'm sure you'll find something.

Yours Curve Green London Floral Mesh Tea Dress
https://www.next.co.uk/style/SU887620/G05919

Scarlett & Jo Blue Victoria Angel Sleeve Mesh Midi long Dress
https://www.next.co.uk/style/SU457171/G00924

Scarlett & Jo are great. Angel wing sleeves are your friend. The dresses are long so don't get a maxi, I'm taller than you and they are too long for me as in walking on the hem long.

I have bought from Ulla Popken.

Make time to take whatever you buy to be altered to fit. Wear your food bra for the fitting.

The scarlet & Jo dress I wore was the Victoria and it was ankle length on me at 5'1

I'm a size 22, age 50, with flabby tummy, I wore a Chesca dress to a friend's wedding last September. chescadirect.co.uk/products/marina-cobalt-hand-painted-tropical-satin-devoree-dress-with-chiffon-neckline

I don't have a waist - more of a brick than an hourglass - and find Scarlet and Jo assume all larger sizes still have an out/in/out figure so they're no good for me

I use to be a 22. I wore Max Mara off eBay. There are some lovely silk coats you could wear over trousers and a cami.About £100 but they're discounted from £500.

Just an add Max Mara (Marina Rinaldi) is sized differently .Size 27 is a 22

@Frustratedandannoyed81 Yours Clothing or Simplybe are great options for smart, trendy clothes that hide the bits we don't love about ourselves.

Go for a wrap style dress like the shape of the ones below:
YOURS Plus Size Black Soft Touch Floral Wrap Dress | Yours Clothing
Joanna Hope Pleated Wrap Dress | Simply Be

These sit higher on the waistline and flow over big tummies and hips. If you can find one is a chiffon-like material, even better. 3/4 length sleeves are also a good option if you feel self conscious about your arms and always go maxi - never midi length to elongate the body. Team this style of dress with ballet flats and as long as the weather allows for it, you can stick leggings on underneath for comfort and to help keep everything 'tucked in'.

Thank you for your messages. I’ve ordered a couple from next and 3 from Scarlett and Jo. This is my favourite one: https://www.scarlettandjo.com/collections/plus-size-wedding-guests-dresses/products/kemi-black-purple-print-bolero-wrap-bodice-maxi-gown?variant=55978167894398

I’d say £100-£200. I have shoes and bags so it’s just a dress and maybe a jacket.

I’d say Jess Millichamp is the closest In shape but she’s a couple of sizes bigger. She carries weight in the same places though. I could wear a mid heel, preferably wedge or chunky heel. And I’d want a coat or jacket. My budget is up to £200 for dress and coat/jacket

I’m open to anything except body con!