Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Dress for a black tie ceilidh

125 replies

VenusClapTrap · 05/01/2026 20:10

This is harder than I thought. I’m going to a Burns Night fundraiser which involves dinner and a ceilidh, and the dress code is black tie.

I thought I’d be able to pick something up in the sales, but I’m struggling to find something that’s right. I’ve done my research - well, done a MN search - and gleaned that I need a dress that is:
• appropriate for black tie
• comfortable enough to dance in
• not too long so I don’t trip or others step on it
• not off the shoulder as I’ll be waving my arms in the air (apparently)
• not long sleeved - too hot for dancing
• swishy enough for the skirt to spin out, but not likely to reveal pants.

In addition, it preferably needs to suit me! I’m short (5 foot 3), size 12, and 51 with a meno belly. I ate too many mince pies over Christmas so I’d like to find something forgiving round the middle - no nipped in waists. I suit muted colours; no brights. Black drains me.

Budget up to about £250. So far I quite like the following two dresses, but I’m not sure either is quite right. Help.

https://www.loragene.com/shop/silk-dresses/the-paris-dress-in-silk-satin

https://www.selfridges.com/GB/en/product/leem-round-neck-relaxed-fit-pleated-woven-midi-dress_R04380960/#colour=GREEN

THE PARIS DRESS IN SILK SATIN

Frill details silk dress

https://www.loragene.com/shop/silk-dresses/the-paris-dress-in-silk-satin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
WearyAuldWumman · 07/01/2026 00:00

AmyDuPlantier · 06/01/2026 23:50

This thread is bonkers 🤣🤣🤣

It’s dancing which you can join in with or not if you see fit.

Wear whatever shoes you want to; it’s not an assault course or anything.

Ye've never seen the carnage o' an oot o' control Orcadian Strip the Willow then?

Onautopilot · 07/01/2026 00:48

Echoing other posters about strapless/spaghetti straps - I have seen many unexpected malfunctions. From my own experience, no low necklines or wrap dresses that aren't securely safety pinned. (I'm a 34C and still only just managed sleight of hand to get an escaping boob tucked in again!) When trying on a dress jump up and down in it a few times, and spin, to see how secure you feel in it. Flats, or almost, are essential. Wear heels in, then change footwear.
Have fun !

ScaredOfFlying · 07/01/2026 01:04

Pineapplewaves · 05/01/2026 20:20

You will find that a lot of women will have their trainers stashed under the table for the dancing - dance in your best shoes and your feet will be bleeding and covered in blisters in no time!

Nobody dances ceilidh dances in trainers. Flat shoes or dancing pumps.

ScaredOfFlying · 07/01/2026 01:11

GlasgowGal2014 · 06/01/2026 15:58

Lowlander here and most of the dozens of ceilidhs I've been to are part of weddings or other formal events where there have been plenty of stilettos and no dancing shoes! No wellies either, but I'd like to see that one day 😂

Show quote history

We had a ceilidh at our wedding. Or should I say half a ceilidh because we had to abandon it when my cousin fell off her 4 inch heels and broke her ankle. She was hammered. I was not impressed by her shoe choice.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/01/2026 06:05

VenusClapTrap · 05/01/2026 21:21

Thanks for all these suggestions. Some nice dresses but none are really grabbing me. Separates don’t work on me because of the waistband problem.

Shoe-wise I’m tempted to get some proper ballroom dancing shoes. I’ve seen them recommended on here because they’re comfortable and properly fasten to your feet, and aren’t expensive.

I loooove mine (have quite a few). But you need to „dance them in“. My favourite pair was actually a little uncomfortable initially (but the fitter assured me that everything looked good)…

AmyDuPlantier · 07/01/2026 07:35

WearyAuldWumman · 07/01/2026 00:00

Ye've never seen the carnage o' an oot o' control Orcadian Strip the Willow then?

Show quote history

Yeah I’m Scottish so have been to plenty and never considered a sports bra or some kind of safety shoe.

Im cringing at all the ‘carnage’ posts tbh. It’s dancing.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/01/2026 08:04

WearyAuldWumman · 06/01/2026 17:10

Nowadays, Scottish Country Dancing tends to be more formal.

My mum was born in the 1920s, and in her day there was no discernible difference between the two - other than the fact that SCD might include some more esoteric dances that you wouldn't hear at an ordinary ceilidh.

[At some point, someone will point out that strictly speaking a ceilidh isn't a dance - it's a gathering where people take turns to perform, but the understanding of the word has changed over the years.]

The current trend for ceilidhs is for the pace to be a bit faster than was formerly the case. If you ever listen to Jimmy Shand (Snr, not Jnr) his timing was impeccable and much more sedate than the music you'll hear from modern ceilidh groups.

I'm nearly 66. The generation above me used to complain about the bands coming out of the university circuit in Glasgow, saying that they played too fast - but this was what more modern participants were looking for.

Paradoxically, the Royal Scottish Country Dance Society actually devises new dances in the old style.

In short, I'd say that originally there was scant difference between the two. If you find yourself at a formal event run by the RSCDS, the dancing style tends to be stiffer and more twee with a more precise rhythm IMO. (I'm waiting for someone to give me a slap for saying that.)

A modern ceilidh tends to be livelier with a looser style of dancing and (again IMO) more of a focus on fun rather than getting the steps absolutely right.

sits back and waits for pelters

ETA Youtube does have various instructional videos which might help you.

As for learning in Devon, there might be a local Caledonian Society that could help you out?

ETA Again

If it's Highland Games, I'd say that it's going to be more informal, particularly since many people will be fairly pished after visiting the beer tent relaxed.

[Don't ask about what happened to my late husband at the age of 15 at Fort William Highland Games.]

Edited
Show quote history

That is super interesting! Thank you for sharing!

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:29

AmyDuPlantier · 06/01/2026 23:50

This thread is bonkers 🤣🤣🤣

It’s dancing which you can join in with or not if you see fit.

Wear whatever shoes you want to; it’s not an assault course or anything.

I know, right?! Who ARE these people?!?

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:30

ScaredOfFlying · 07/01/2026 01:11

We had a ceilidh at our wedding. Or should I say half a ceilidh because we had to abandon it when my cousin fell off her 4 inch heels and broke her ankle. She was hammered. I was not impressed by her shoe choice.

Edited
Show quote history

Presumably she wore shoes to the wedding based on her outfit and what she thought looked nice for a wedding?! I’ve never heard of people choosing to wear ballroom shoes to a wedding or bringing them along separately. You just wear the shoes you’re in and take your chances!

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:31

ScaredOfFlying · 07/01/2026 01:04

Nobody dances ceilidh dances in trainers. Flat shoes or dancing pumps.

Show quote history

Or the heels they came to the event (wedding, ball, burns supper, Hogmanay) wearing…

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:33

AmyDuPlantier · 07/01/2026 07:35

Yeah I’m Scottish so have been to plenty and never considered a sports bra or some kind of safety shoe.

Im cringing at all the ‘carnage’ posts tbh. It’s dancing.

Show quote history

A sports bra under a formal dress is mental. People wear strapless, spaghetti straps, halterneck, backless etc to any ceilidh I’ve ever attended (hunners).

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:35

HelenaWilson · 06/01/2026 22:30

How dull. Every ceilidh I’ve ever been to has been utterly wild and a total laugh. Aiming for royal family gliding is not the vibe at all.

I think the events at Balmoral were/are referred to as balls, not ceilidhs.

Loads of balls in Scotland have ceilidhs and they are not the same vibe at all as the Queen gliding about. Graduation balls, for example, are wild.

AmyDuPlantier · 07/01/2026 09:31

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:33

A sports bra under a formal dress is mental. People wear strapless, spaghetti straps, halterneck, backless etc to any ceilidh I’ve ever attended (hunners).

Show quote history

It really is mental 🤣

I think people are confusing dinner and dancing with Tough Mudder.

WearyAuldWumman · 07/01/2026 11:35

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:30

Presumably she wore shoes to the wedding based on her outfit and what she thought looked nice for a wedding?! I’ve never heard of people choosing to wear ballroom shoes to a wedding or bringing them along separately. You just wear the shoes you’re in and take your chances!

Show quote history

When I was a teenager, it wasn't unusual for women to take along a pair of more comfy shoes to wear for the dancing at the reception, no matter the style of dancing - better than finishing up dancing in your stockinged feet.

ETA That was certainly the case for the generation of women brought up with tea dances (my mum's generation).

SALaw · 07/01/2026 13:03

WearyAuldWumman · 07/01/2026 11:35

When I was a teenager, it wasn't unusual for women to take along a pair of more comfy shoes to wear for the dancing at the reception, no matter the style of dancing - better than finishing up dancing in your stockinged feet.

ETA That was certainly the case for the generation of women brought up with tea dances (my mum's generation).

Edited
Show quote history

My mum (76) would be horrified about wearing anything other than a heel with a formal dress.

loveyouradvice · 07/01/2026 13:55

totally agree re low heel ballroom dancing shoes - this is what I wear... SO COMFY!! and makes me very confident dancing anything

ScaredOfFlying · 07/01/2026 13:57

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:31

Or the heels they came to the event (wedding, ball, burns supper, Hogmanay) wearing…

Show quote history

Edited as I saw poster had indeed seen and replied to that post.

ScaredOfFlying · 07/01/2026 13:59

SALaw · 07/01/2026 08:30

Presumably she wore shoes to the wedding based on her outfit and what she thought looked nice for a wedding?! I’ve never heard of people choosing to wear ballroom shoes to a wedding or bringing them along separately. You just wear the shoes you’re in and take your chances!

Show quote history

It really made my day, waiting for the paramedics while listening to her scream in pain.

maras2 · 07/01/2026 14:28

museumum · 05/01/2026 20:15

id go for this but have it taken up (I’m 5’2”) to perfect for me ankle length. I’m not great at dancing in heels so I’d buy the right shoes first (need to be firmly attached like Mary Jane’s or 1920s style.
https://www.monsoon.co.uk/ellie-sheer-sleeve-plunge-tulle-maxi-dress-green-1000829091.html

That's a lovely dress,

WearyAuldWumman · 07/01/2026 14:32

SALaw · 07/01/2026 13:03

My mum (76) would be horrified about wearing anything other than a heel with a formal dress.

Show quote history

Well, my mother would have been 101 this year. She and others of her wartime generation used to wear heels with their formal dresses. If they could dance in their heels, then that was fine.

If not, then they came prepared and carried more comfortable shoes with them for dancing once any formalities were past.

In fact, I recall that certain venues had signs forbidding women from wearing stiletto heels on the dance floor, so a change of footwear was obligatory for women wearing that type of heel. Those were the days when dance floor powder - usually Slipperine - was sprinkled on the floor.

Ikeasucks · 07/01/2026 18:03

Absolutely love that green silk dress in your op - perfect for the event

GlasgowGal2014 · 07/01/2026 19:01

ScaredOfFlying · 07/01/2026 01:11

We had a ceilidh at our wedding. Or should I say half a ceilidh because we had to abandon it when my cousin fell off her 4 inch heels and broke her ankle. She was hammered. I was not impressed by her shoe choice.

Edited
Show quote history

I wasn't saying that stilettos were a good choice! That is awful for your cousin - I hope her ankle healed ok. And I'm really sorry that you're wedding ceilidh was cut short - I hope you had a great night anyway.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page