Dress for a black tie ceilidh

[VenusClapTrap]

This is harder than I thought. I’m going to a Burns Night fundraiser which involves dinner and a ceilidh, and the dress code is black tie.

I thought I’d be able to pick something up in the sales, but I’m struggling to find something that’s right. I’ve done my research - well, done a MN search - and gleaned that I need a dress that is:
• appropriate for black tie
• comfortable enough to dance in
• not too long so I don’t trip or others step on it
• not off the shoulder as I’ll be waving my arms in the air (apparently)
• not long sleeved - too hot for dancing
• swishy enough for the skirt to spin out, but not likely to reveal pants.

In addition, it preferably needs to suit me! I’m short (5 foot 3), size 12, and 51 with a meno belly. I ate too many mince pies over Christmas so I’d like to find something forgiving round the middle - no nipped in waists. I suit muted colours; no brights. Black drains me.

Budget up to about £250. So far I quite like the following two dresses, but I’m not sure either is quite right. Help.

https://www.loragene.com/shop/silk-dresses/the-paris-dress-in-silk-satin

https://www.selfridges.com/GB/en/product/leem-round-neck-relaxed-fit-pleated-woven-midi-dress_R04380960/#colour=GREEN

I wear a black trouser suit with a tartan sash if that's any help - enjoy

Can confirm the accuracy of Danny Bhoy's comments - I used to be an accordionist in a ceilidh band.

Why yes, we do deliberately speed up during the Dashing White Sergeant. cackles

Thanks, I've been to dozens of ceilidhs so have a fair bit of experience. I'm a big fan of metallic shoes too, and I would love a pair of the Air and Grace ones that have been posted on this thread, but I wouldn't wear them to a ceilidh until they were showing signs of wear and tear from general use because I'd be gutted if they got scuffed first wear and the finish was damaged. I do have silver ballet flats with a Mary Jane strap that I got for £12 from ASDA which are my perfect ceilidh shoes and at that price I don't mind them getting trashed, but sadly they are out of stock. My main point was don't wear anything to a ceilidh that you'd be upset about being damaged by being trodden on by a pair of brogues!

I'd avoid open toes. I see that some folk have advised that women should wear ballet pumps etc...

I never seen anyone telling the men to leave their brogues and other sturdy lace-ups at home. It's every woman for herself - make sure your feet are protected!

Though the pointy toe on the Air & Grace ones would do more damage if you "accidentally" kicked any clumsy brogue wearers ...

How great! Love an accordian.

I don't suppose you (or anyone) can explain the difference between ordinary ceilidh dancing (which I've done. Badly.) and Scottish country dancing? I'm visiting a Highland Games event in August and I suspect it will be very Scottish.

Where might I go in Devon to practice and learn how not to disgrace myself?

These are reduced to £29 & are leather too. Not quite as nice IMO, but less of a concern at that price?!! Reviews say they're very comfy (but to size up).

https://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-harrietta-mary-jane-leather-pumps/gold/p5997567

Agree. Far nicer than the second one. My only reservation is whether the fabric would show up sweaty patches?

I've never been to a Scottish ceilidh but your post reminded me of this website as I had a random catalogue from them full of men in tartan evening gear so I had a quick look. This might be too short for you but given your height would possibly be mid calf.
www.houseofbruar.com/l-victorian-dress-navy-velv/

Nowadays, Scottish Country Dancing tends to be more formal.

My mum was born in the 1920s, and in her day there was no discernible difference between the two - other than the fact that SCD might include some more esoteric dances that you wouldn't hear at an ordinary ceilidh.

[At some point, someone will point out that strictly speaking a ceilidh isn't a dance - it's a gathering where people take turns to perform, but the understanding of the word has changed over the years.]

The current trend for ceilidhs is for the pace to be a bit faster than was formerly the case. If you ever listen to Jimmy Shand (Snr, not Jnr) his timing was impeccable and much more sedate than the music you'll hear from modern ceilidh groups.

I'm nearly 66. The generation above me used to complain about the bands coming out of the university circuit in Glasgow, saying that they played too fast - but this was what more modern participants were looking for.

Paradoxically, the Royal Scottish Country Dance Society actually devises new dances in the old style.

In short, I'd say that originally there was scant difference between the two. If you find yourself at a formal event run by the RSCDS, the dancing style tends to be stiffer and more twee with a more precise rhythm IMO. (I'm waiting for someone to give me a slap for saying that.)

A modern ceilidh tends to be livelier with a looser style of dancing and (again IMO) more of a focus on fun rather than getting the steps absolutely right.

sits back and waits for pelters

ETA Youtube does have various instructional videos which might help you.

As for learning in Devon, there might be a local Caledonian Society that could help you out?

ETA Again

If it's Highland Games, I'd say that it's going to be more informal, particularly since many people will be fairly pished after visiting the beer tent relaxed.

[Don't ask about what happened to my late husband at the age of 15 at Fort William Highland Games.]

I agree with @WearyAuldWumman that it's every woman for themselves at a ceilidh. I'm less worried about protecting other peoples feet and more concerned about protecting my own when choosing ceilidh shoes because it's the mens feet that are going to do the damage!

I like those Mary Jane style ballet pumps you've found in John Lewis though, and there's some others that might be good in the 'customers also viewed' section if OP would consider that style.

Enjoy OP! I’m really jealous as I absolutely love a ceilidh, especially a Burns supper one - they are so much fun.

I think your first dress is really lovely and ticks a lot of boxes (literally the only thing is may be slightly prone to showing sweat marks?! - it’s definitely hot work!). Shoe wise 100% completely agree with all the people saying soft flats, but absolutely with a strap or elastic of some description - I have certainly known ballet flats to fly off in the past. The Penelope Chilvers and Air and Grace ones do look really nice.

Wow. Thanks for being so helpful.

I've found:
https://www.rscdsexeter.org.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/exetercalsoc/?hl=en

The latter sounds a bit posh. The 'black tie' stuff might suit the OP?

It's gone straight onto my ToDo list.

Coast seem to have quite a few evening skirts in various colours and then you just need a suitable top to go with. And presumably a tartan sash of some sort?

https://www.coastfashion.com/product/coast-twill-full-volume-skirt_bcc10734?colour=navy

I think you've summed the difference up really well! I'm in my 40s and my experience is that at ceilidhs the focus is more on fun and the dancing can become quite boisterous, whereas Scottish Country Dancing is more formal with a focus on getting the steps right. There is some crossover in the dances, but the more complex SCD dances tend to be left out of ceilidhs, and ceilidhs sometimes have dances from other traditions included. The only confusion comes from the fact that in school we are told we are being taught Scottish Country Dancing, but we behave like we're at a wild ceilidh!

I also totally agree that at a Highland Games event the dancing is likely to be on the more boisterous side too! In fact, the only place I've ever experienced the more sedate form of Scottish Country Dancing is in England.

@CrystalSingerFan - you might be able to find a Scottish Country Dancing group near you where you could learn some of the steps but you will probably find it is more formal and sedate than what you experience in Scotland. Most ceilidhs have callers who talk everyone through the dance at the start, so it is accessible to everyone. If you want to practice in a more boisterous setting I'd recommend the Sloans ceilidh in Glasgow. I've not been for a few years but it always used to be really good fun!

Ooh. Tartan sash. Brilliant suggestion.

If I'm a quarter Scottish am I entitled to wear the MaClennan tartan? (Paternal grandmother. )

Esska shoes are lovely and comfortable.

Go for it.

I wear my maternal granny's tartan. (I'd have a hard time finding one from my dad's side - he was Eastern European). My late husband used to wear his adoptive mother's tartan. His dad had a tartan, but he preferred his mum's.

"His dad had a tartan, but he preferred his mum's."

Now that's interesting! There's a Mumsnet topic that would have burst into flames back in the olden days.

I like the first dress you shared but as others have mentioned you will any sweaty patches
Nobodys child do some nice ones, in a slightly more forgiving fabric then your first choice
www.nobodyschild.com/products/brown-frill-sleeve-layla-midi-dress-d253943brn?cjdata=MXxZfDB8WXww&variant=54543599960449&cjevent=19326d36eb2d11f0801300950a18ba73&utm_source=CJ&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Shareight+UK

Oh, and you might want to ditch the pretty bras for the night, and go all out in a sports bra. A sports bra would be perfect for a ceilidh, and your heaving bosoms would have no chance of escaping!

I'm glad that everyone seems to like the Danny Bhoy interpretation. It makes me laugh every time!

There’s a great bit of footage of HM the Late Q doing an Eightsome Reel (?) with most of the immediate family at some Balmoral shindig, and she glides about the set as if on invisible wheels, sporting an enigmatic smile: this, I was told by a Scottish friend, was what I should be aiming for, rather than… (shudder) bouncing Englishly.

How dull. Every ceilidh I’ve ever been to has been utterly wild and a total laugh. Aiming for royal family gliding is not the vibe at all. But I do hate when non Scots ignore the caller and make up their own steps.

How dull. Every ceilidh I’ve ever been to has been utterly wild and a total laugh. Aiming for royal family gliding is not the vibe at all.

I think the events at Balmoral were/are referred to as balls, not ceilidhs.

The one that included the estate workers was the Ghillies' Ball. (My late husband was a forestry worker there and also worked as a ghillie as required. His dad was the Head Gardener at Abergeldie for a while, when it was the vegetable garden for Balmoral.)

I know that he danced with the Royals at least once, but that's about all I can tell you. I recall him saying that he only danced with Princess Anne in a Paul Jones. I think he did a Dashing White Sergeant with the Queen Mother, so I'm guessing that was fairly sedate. (There are a few other stories, but they don't relate to dancing.)

He left the estate to return to education as a mature student. He had a year out of uni when he worked as a peripatetic non-certificated teacher of PE in Aberdeenshire primary schools and from what he told me, spent most of his time teaching Scottish country dancing.

This thread is bonkers 🤣🤣🤣

It’s dancing which you can join in with or not if you see fit.

Wear whatever shoes you want to; it’s not an assault course or anything.