Dress for a black tie ceilidh

[VenusClapTrap]

This is harder than I thought. I’m going to a Burns Night fundraiser which involves dinner and a ceilidh, and the dress code is black tie.

I thought I’d be able to pick something up in the sales, but I’m struggling to find something that’s right. I’ve done my research - well, done a MN search - and gleaned that I need a dress that is:
• appropriate for black tie
• comfortable enough to dance in
• not too long so I don’t trip or others step on it
• not off the shoulder as I’ll be waving my arms in the air (apparently)
• not long sleeved - too hot for dancing
• swishy enough for the skirt to spin out, but not likely to reveal pants.

In addition, it preferably needs to suit me! I’m short (5 foot 3), size 12, and 51 with a meno belly. I ate too many mince pies over Christmas so I’d like to find something forgiving round the middle - no nipped in waists. I suit muted colours; no brights. Black drains me.

Budget up to about £250. So far I quite like the following two dresses, but I’m not sure either is quite right. Help.

https://www.loragene.com/shop/silk-dresses/the-paris-dress-in-silk-satin

https://www.selfridges.com/GB/en/product/leem-round-neck-relaxed-fit-pleated-woven-midi-dress_R04380960/#colour=GREEN

I bought this for a wedding. It's beautifully swishy and isn't tight on the stomach www.theprettydresscompany.com/sale-c16/the-pretty-dress-company-hourglass-swing-dress-p288#attribute%5B1%5D=12

Just been at a black tie ceilidh for Hogmanay. There were loads of people dancing in heels, long gowns and short, and strapless. I was surprised that so many women managed to dance in really long gowns, actually!

As for footwear, I always dance in heels. Never injured myself or anybody else - but I am used to it and I know most of the dances. This year I bought some heeled dance shoes and they were super comfy to dance in and looked good with my dress. For various reasons I didn't want to be carting around a bag with spare shoes in, which is what I usually do...

The dark green dress in the OP looks perfect

Just want to second this - when I was in my 20s I could do Strip the Willow at a Highland wedding in 3 inch heels no bother. These days I don't wear heels that often but would still opt for heels rather than flats to dance in. I take the flats for the travel home!

Very much not the point of the thread but I've not been to a ceilidh for ages so must sort that out for 2026!

In Strip the Willow, with drink taken, you will be launched into space.

That happened to me once at a party where English country dancing featured. My partner for one dance was the teenage son of a friend, and he spun me round rather too energetically.

I would be anxious about an expensive but relatively fragile dress as, even at the less rambunctious affairs, there is significant stress on seams as you are twisted, turned and grabbed about! A loose top is firmly recommended. Such a shame skirt and top combos (co-ords is it now?) are such a rarity!

I’ve never seen a single person take that approach to footwear at a ceilidh.

This is madness. You think people are buying shoes in dance shops for a ceilidh? People just wear whatever shoes they want that looks nice with their dress!

@TheeNotoriousPIGthat is fabulous! I've done many ceilidhs and only once managed to get the eightsome reel to work out correctly! I'm that person who counts and directs too 😁😭

Definitely nothing fragile

you know when you hire a car abroad and they ask if you want the extra Collision Damage Waiver Insurance?

think that

I think there might be two schools of thought here due to the differences between Highland and Lowland ceilidhs. I've been to lots of both.

Highland ceilidhs were/are the standard community dance. People go to socialise (and drink) and enjoy the dancing while they are there. They wear anything and dance in anything. Mishaps do happen but you aren't really there to dance magnificently and look graceful. I have worn stilettoes, bare feet, and wellies, and all fine.

Lowland ceilidhs seem to be about the dancing. People take it much more seriously! I'm guessing that's where the comments about everyone wearing dancing shoes are coming from. I definitely would not go to a Lowland ceilidh in wellies because I would get looks for being a teuchter. I hadn't realised I would also be judged for stilettos though!

Black tie and ceilidh sounds like an oxymoron.

But as a side note, these fundraisers are ridiculous that you have to spend up to £250 to fundraise. I would resent being famous haha.

I know what you mean, & did wonder at first about the first dress. But I actually think it would work really well, on inspection. The cut of the dress is loose. It's silk satin so will move on the body. And, importantly, it's cut on the bias so will deal with torsion. If the OP wears a fine fitted vest & big pants underneath (Sloggi/Skims type), that will help with smoothing under the dress & allow movement of the fabric. This kind of vest & pants (with a good bra underneath).

@Bikergran You sound as if you're a ceilidh regular, so would get the wear out of "proper" ceilidh footwear. I doubt that the OP would by the sounds of things? So it's maybe better that she goes for something she can wear again (both dress- & footwear-wise)? She might not return to a ceilidh for another decade or two ...!!!

What this thread proves to me (from the posts by people who've actually been to ceilidhs a fair few times) is that (comfortable) footwear for dancing is an individual preference.

That could be flats or low or heeled - as long as the wearer finds them comfy & supportive for a whole evening, & that they're enclosed/fastened in a way that means they don't fly off!!

https://edinburghmagazine.com/ceilidh-ready-dos-and-donts-for-looking-good-and-staying-safe-in-style/

https://www.jamessenior.co.uk

Wow, thanks everyone, super busy day today so haven’t had chance to pop back till now. Such differences of opinion on heel height!

Thanks for all the suggestions. I think I will go with the green dress; it seems to be getting a big thumbs up and I’m pretty sure it will get lots of use beyond this event.

Shoe wise - oh my god I don’t know!

That very first green silk dress is 100% gorgeous, I want one! For shoes a medium heel should be ok, whatever you're comfortable in. I've taken damage from other people's spike heels and I wouldn't wear an open sandal or a very soft leather dance shoe. I do wear soft ballet shoes for douce RSCDS-type Scottish country dances but ceilidhs are usually more lively and some of the dancers are (ahem) less well trained. For ceilidhs I wear lowish mary janes from Hotter (ok kill me now!) but then again I am an old lady with awkward feet and they are firm and secure.

Love the Danny Bhoy sketch too! I can hold my own in a Strip the Willow but I retreat fast from the dancefloor if they announce a Cumberland Square Eight. https://www.myceilidh.co.uk/cumberland-square-eight
(Note for beginners - this is not an Eightsome Reel, eightsome reels are long and complicated but safe!)

Have a great time whatever you wear!

Repetto started as a ballet shoe company, & was asked by the late Brigitte Bardot (a trained dancer) to modify their ballet pumps to create a style she could wear all day in the city.

The original shoes were strap/tie-less, so not much good for ceilidhs. But they have other styles in their range that may suit, OP? I'll post both nearly flat & low-heeled options - as it sounds as if you're still mulling on that front!!! I would just go with a style that YOU think would be comfy for an evening with your foot issues.

Repetto Mary-Janes with a 1cm heel, ie almost flat.

https://repetto.com/en/products/lio-mary-janes-light-gold-v1414agm-418-en

A similar but higher version - but not reduced so they're dearer than your dress!!!

https://repetto.com/en/products/rose-mary-janes-light-gold-v1413vem-418

But the men will be wearing dress shoes which are fairly hard soled and could do some damage if they step on her feet in soft shoes?! I'm Scottish and have been to dozens of ceilidhs and have never seen a man in a soft shoe.

Ballroom dancing shoes actually sound like a really good idea because they're fairly robust. I like a wee heel when I'm at a ceilidh because I think it helps with the turns and spins.

Lowlander here and most of the dozens of ceilidhs I've been to are part of weddings or other formal events where there have been plenty of stilettos and no dancing shoes! No wellies either, but I'd like to see that one day 😂

OP - I think the green silk dress looks perfect! You want something that you are comfortable moving about in, and that includes taking fairly long steps. It can be long as long as it has a fairly full skirt so that you can move your legs - nothing worse for a ceilidh than a full length skirt that restricts you to taking baby steps! I don't think you need to worry too much about it getting damaged. If you're getting grabbed and thrown about it should be by the hand or the arm rather than the body. Shoes on the other hand may well get scuffed, so whilst there is some beautiful metallic flats being posted on this thread I wouldn't invest in anything pricey. I'd go for something you can move in fairly easily (including spinning and changing direction quickly, which can be tricky in trainers), but also something you don't mind getting damaged and that is fairly robust to protect your toes from getting trodden on. If the men are in Scottish dress they'll be wearing fairly robust dress shoes, and I'd be very surprised if they change into soft shoes for dancing! I've never had ballroom dancing shoes, but given what you've said about not being comfortable in totally flat shoes and if you can get them cheaply they sound ideal. Taking shoes to change into for the dancing is also definitely acceptable.

These are dead flat (though soled) so probably too flat for you OP - I just posted them because I think they're gorgeous!! And for those who do like flats, they look perfect for dancing in. In several colours too.

https://repetto.com/en/products/sophia-ballerinas-black-v4197ve-410

Your comments have been some of the most sensible so far!

I take your point about cost & metallic - though most of those come in lots of colours. I have a thing about metallic leather - so fully admit my bias! I also thought it better than black if the OP goes for the green dress, as gold would be beautiful with it. Lots of cheaper versions out there of the types of things I've posted (though of course they may not be as comfy ...!).