Mulberry Crossbody Bags - why do so many women have them?

[LucyLoo1972]

I have never had a nice handbag denote being in an elite profession. I have noticed lots of women where I live have Mulberry crossbody bags. I looked them up and was so shocked at the price tag!! the women I see wearing them dont always look like they are filthy rich so I am intrigued as to why they spend so much on a handbag. Sorry if this is a weird question. Maybe its me becasue we have plenty of money but my husband would go batshit crazy if I said id like one of these and wanted to buy one.

I don't like the fastening, very insecure & no apparent way to make it safe.
A saleswoman agreed with me when I nearly bought one.

I think a lot of those bags you see will be fakes bought from the guys on the beach.

Same applies to Gucci, Chloe, Marc Jacobs, Dior.

I have a vintage mulberry Somerset Hobo and it’s worth every penny. I use it every single day.

We all have different tastes. I earn minumum wage but I’m fortunate enough to have many designer clothes and accessories. I don’t drive or smoke or drink. But I love Chanel.

But yet you are still with him and under his control?

Personally I don’t like them because they’re too heavy for me . I prefer Lulu Guinness handbags , slightly quirky, lightweight and they’re not as expensive.

A lot of people buy fake designer bags abroad, could it be that.

You have a DH problem but I think you realise that OP.

I bought a Mulberry Cross body with my first paycheck 18 yrs ago. I think it was around £495. Loved it, rocked it to death. DH indulged my passion and even encouraged some purchases. We could afford it and he knew how much excitement they brought me. I don't buy bags anymore but I am so grateful for his reaction to my obsession with handbags at the time.

I think you need an exit plan/strategy. It may not happen tmrw or the next day but relationship board may be able to help you unpick what you need to do to move forward and not feel so stuck.

When you are out and better come back and post a picture of your new bag!

its hard because im so unwell. I blame myself because why didnt I challenge any of these things before the stress made me break completely so there is nothing of me left at all and `ll my work wasted.

Why would you say it? Why wouldn't you just buy the bag? (Even if you saved for a bit then got it) And why would you tell him the cost? Its not a joint handbag.

@LucyLoo1972 how are you getting on?
I think that a lot of posters have read your title, whizzed past your updates, and replied, focussing on the bloody bag.
Yet the bag is irrelevant here. I read your post as a plead for help.

As a side note, I loved studying sociology as a mature student. But it's a tough subject. Be proud of your academic achievements - a PhD is a huge achievement, and you earned it. You have a curious and critical mind, but at the moment, you appear to be struggling.

You're not alone. I hope, with the right kind of meaningful support, you can move forward, regain your self-esteem, and re-claim your life.
You're being so hard on yourself. 💐

…

thank you. I am very hard on my self and alwasy have been. I was carrying a lot with all the trauma I had as well. im sad my achievements came to nothing. I blame myself for not asserting myself and realising I didnt need to ask permission to buy things at all. and now all our money has gone in any case because ive not been able to work fro eight years and have got sick physically as well. I know im hard to myself but its impossible not to be now becasue everythign has gone so so very wrong especially in my marriage and my husband is awful to me now. I do have professional support but nothing is really working at all.

I’m sorry that your husband is a shit, and hopefully this thread will make you realise that you are entitled to spend money on yourself if you find something desirable (obviously not at the cost of paying your mortgage/bills etc.)

I have the purple small Bayswater because I fell in love with the colour. It retailed at £1995, but I waited a year and went to the outlet shop in Cheshire Oaks and bought it for just under half price. Maybe a consideration for you?

thank you. we had absolutely plenty of money, ample savings and no debts except a mortgage taken out 23 years ago that is now paid off almost. we also knew we were going to be inheriting a substantial sum of money and a house abroad.

Good morning @LucyLoo1972
How are you today?

Have you thought anymore about volunteering to get you out of the house?
A family member of mine had very poor mental health and it saved her.

Having read more of your posts I can see that this is not really about a handbag, rather that the handbag situation has made you step back and look at your relationship.

I am so sorry for how you are being treated, I think that you should stop being so hard on yourself re the wasted education and your usefulness. Neither things are true, your education can be put to use once again when you are better and you are clearly not useless if you have achieved a PhD.

You need a better therapist who is more attuned to your problems, and who feels like a correct fit to your personality. I would also recommend finding someone who can help to untangle your relationship because your husband is not a good man.

Wishing you peace and hoping you break free to become the person you were always meant to be 🙂

bless you kind person. you are right on all these things. but I do think my husabnd is a good person - I didnt communicate what I needed from him very well. we never argued ever. the handbag really is the very least of my problems, it is more a little illustration I suppose. I allowed mysefl to get so overwhelmed and didnt see how my mental health was declining so badly .I was extraordinarily capable, especially for somebody who had suffered such a lot of trauma and struggled with executive dysfunction at some level, a phd requires an awful lot of execute functions becasue you are doing everything on your own without somebody watching over you. I did it and then my whole life got taken away.