Grey hair

[Sexentric]

I am 46. I used to have very dark (almost black) hair but started to go grey very young. Noticing strands in my teens. Obviously as I got older there were more and I started dyeing ut when I was probably early 20s. As time went on my roots got more and more obvious so I had to dye it every 3 weeks or so which was a nightmare. So I gave up in lockdown. I've been grown out salt and pepper for a few years now but I dont think I like it!
I do think it makes me look older - at least from the back. I think im pretty lucky with my skin and I dress reasonably fashionably which helps. A lot of my colleagues are MUCH younger and I have had a couple of them seem to be genuinely shocked when I've told them my age. Saying that I 'rock'grey hair and they thought I was younger. I do think though that's less because of me looking young and more them sort of thinking their colleagues are roughly their age.
So my questions are:
Do you think grey hair gives an 'old lady vibe'
And also is there a way I could colour it to make me look younger or even 'warmer'as I used to.be an autumn colouring, without having to retouch every 3 weeks or so. I just can't handle that sort of commitment or cost.
And if you got that far then thank you!

@ShanghaiDiva I think your hair looks pretty. But then I quite like grey hair for the most part. I just worry that it clashes with my complexion because it's such a 'cool' colour. And I do look old from the back when people can't see my face to tell that I'm not.
Its interesting though that it tends to be mostly older women who feel so strongly that grey hair is aging. My nan dyed hers ginger till the day she died aged 95. She used to tell me mine was aging, whereas my (very) young colleagues seem to like it.

I don't think men look better with grey hair. Many of them look washed out.

@ShanghaiDiva I love your hair - colour and length! I’d be very happy if mine looks like that in years to come.

We went out in town today and I was scrutinising whether greyer haired women looked more ‘aged’ than others in light of this chat. We associate grey hair with age for obvious reasons but I think other factors like hairstyle, the way you dress and general posture and facial expression have WAY more impact. And yes in a large proportion of the women that had clearly got dyed hair (dark or highlights) the dye job was aging.

I guess greys probably have the greatest impact on the opinions of people who have never met us before. People I know well I never think about their hair colour. My mum’s hair is silvery white (early 70s) and she looks great - it suits her skin tone and she has a great sense of style and is still very fit and active. My MiL has dyed hair and looks very elderly - always in elastic waistbands and fleeces etc.

I think those short ‘older lady’ haircuts can give off a very aging vibe. Each to their own but it would be a cold day in hell before I’d have that on myself.

How about keeping the colour and have a chic all one length bob so it looks a bit sleeker, or another style (I’m not sure what). I’ve seen good results when friends have used purple shampoo.

I have autumn colouring and don’t suit blonde. The colour I use is called medium golden brown, it’s a bit lighter that my natural brown colour.

I’ve got very silver grey hair and I love it but I’m 59. I wear it short in a bob.

I like your look and your hair colour and on a personal level I feel happy and comfortable in my own skin. I sincerely hope that you do too.

Saying people look older is because they are older I think.

Your skin tone changes with age, you need to rethink your make up and clothes. That takes a bit of experimentation. I threw out a lot of make up. Adjusted my wardrobe top colour wise when I bit the bullet and went grey.

I have to say my hair is in much better condition since I stopped throwing chemicals at my scalp.

I’ll bite. This is me. This is last year (I’ve lost some weight since then) and I was 49. I don’t think I look older than my age. Maybe not younger but I don’t care about looking younger. I don’t think I look bad considering, especially as I have some chronic health issues. I’ve got some more recent pictures but I can’t crop them without them being too big to upload.

It's a beautiful colour.

"Do you think grey hair gives an 'old lady vibe"

Yes I think it does to be honest. I think if you looks youthful with nice skin etc then it is especially aging as with coloured hair a person might look mid 30's but with very or fully grey hair they might look mid 50's or be read as such.

I do think grey hair can be beautiful, and stylish but that's different from the affect it has on your perceived age. For most people like it or not having grey hair is a major signifier of being "old" or at least older and I think most people read it as such.

It sucks but it's true.

So you think I look more than my age?

Love, love, love your hair. What shampoo etc do you use.
If anything you look younger than your age.

Thank you. I know I’m lucky in that it’s soft and shiny. And I’ve jist had it trimmed this morning with a blow dry so it looks even more shiny than normal!

I generally just use Faith in Nature shampoo and conditioner and once a week I use the Fanola purple stuff just to keep the yellow at bay where I straighten it. I was just saying to my hairdresser that I’ve had the bottle of Fanola coming up 5 years and there’s still about a quarter left!😂 A little goes a long way!

You have lovely hair. And no, you don't look.older than your age in this photo. Id have probably said a but younger. 45ish. BUT from the back if people can't see your face they might ASSUME you're older. Pretty sure that happens to me.

Your eyebrow colour looks nice with your hair too and your eyes pop.

Do you think that matters?

Thanks again. My eyebrows are my natural colour with a tiny bit of eyebrow pencil in the same shade to fill them in (teen of the 90’s here 😂).

I think you look lovely I really do and your hair is beautiful but it's not about me really seeing you if you can see what I mean. If I saw you out and about I'd assume you were in your mid 50's or there abouts because that is what fully grey hair signifies to me and I think to a lot if not most people. I guess a lot of that will be driven by the fact that most women continue to colour their hair into their 50's and beyond. Facially your skin looks youthful but I still think people will read you are somewhat older than your age.

I also had dark hair originally and started with a few white strands in my 20s. I dyed my hair up until lockdown, combination of home dye and salon. My son got married in 2019 and I paid about £350 to have my amateur dye stripped out and redyed.

Come lockdown, there was no way I was going to do any home dye. I let it grow out and by the time I returned to school (teacher) in September, I was half white and half brown. I just sucked it up.

I am so glad that I persevered as I have fairly lovely ivory hair which matches my skin tone. The only give away to my former self is my dark eyebrows.

I am so happy not to have £100 salon appointments ever 4 - 6 weeks, especially as my holidays could not possibly keep up with the inane chatter.

I would say that you have to stop dyeing at some point, so if you are already a few months in, keep going!

That’s my question too. I’m sure people who don’t know us think things about us from a first or back glance that aren’t true.

Obviously you’re entitled to your opinion, but from the comments and compliments I have received, I don’t agree with your assumption that most people would think that way. A lot of the people who have commented have assumed I’ve dyed it and asked for the colour. Including quite a few young (20’s) people. I’ve genuinely had more compliments this colour than I ever did when I dyed it.

I had dark brown hair when I was young. I‘m now late fifties, naturally salt n pepper, but have caramel highlights four times a year.

Honestly not massively. But I know DH has had a couple of scares when he's seen someone from the back (from a distance) thought it was me and it really WAS someone much older 😆

@GreyRooted It is my opinion for sure but as I said before looking older and I suppose I can't really tell from a single photo isn't the same as thinking you look bad or unattractive. Your hair is beautiful and you are an attractive woman and it's quite possible your hair is more striking grey than it was its previous colour.

I'm trying to talk specifically about how things "read" or what things signify as opposed to making a judgement on you personally. Sorry if it is coming across as mean.