Grey hair

[Sexentric]

I am 46. I used to have very dark (almost black) hair but started to go grey very young. Noticing strands in my teens. Obviously as I got older there were more and I started dyeing ut when I was probably early 20s. As time went on my roots got more and more obvious so I had to dye it every 3 weeks or so which was a nightmare. So I gave up in lockdown. I've been grown out salt and pepper for a few years now but I dont think I like it!
I do think it makes me look older - at least from the back. I think im pretty lucky with my skin and I dress reasonably fashionably which helps. A lot of my colleagues are MUCH younger and I have had a couple of them seem to be genuinely shocked when I've told them my age. Saying that I 'rock'grey hair and they thought I was younger. I do think though that's less because of me looking young and more them sort of thinking their colleagues are roughly their age.
So my questions are:
Do you think grey hair gives an 'old lady vibe'
And also is there a way I could colour it to make me look younger or even 'warmer'as I used to.be an autumn colouring, without having to retouch every 3 weeks or so. I just can't handle that sort of commitment or cost.
And if you got that far then thank you!

I use John Frieda defy grey shampoo which has been discontinued so thanks for these Just for Men tips. I was going to move on to Plantur Brown but it’s expensive.

OP I was using semi permanent dyes up until 3 years ago but my hair was so dry so I started using the shampoo. It’s amazing how it tones down the grey. I expect just for men does the same thing for less expense.

Men tend to look good with grey hair. Women look older. There's nothing wrong with getting your hair done if it makes you feel better.

@ImthatBoleyngirl at least read your own messages. Why do you think men tend to “look good” with grey hair and women look older? It is purely societal expectations. You have drank the kool aid and don’t even seem to have a modicum of awareness of how far into the tunnel you’ve gone

Well I’m old now and I like my silver grey hair. I think your mindset changes as you age. So what if I look my actual age? I do put a silver toner on regularly which gives it a fantastic shine, also sometimes put a few pink tips in. I have my shoulder length bob trimmed every. 6-8 weeks and sometimes (shock horror !) put it up in an old lady messy bun.

If you wanted to dye it but don't want the harsh demarcation line, you could go for a lighter colour, like a dark-blond. That way, the regrowth won't look so dramatic.

I’ve posted many times before on these threads. I had to give up dye due to becoming allergic, so had no choice. I’m lucky that my hair is silver, soft and shiny as I’m aware that for other people it can be coarse and dry.

I don’t think I look any older than I actually am and I get compliments quite regularly about my hair colour. (Happy to post a pic). Just this week a hairdresser who was cutting my son’s hair complimented me, and then a young woman in a shop yesterday.

I use Fanola purple shampoo once a week to keep any yellowing at bay.

Style and beauty is supposed to be a place where people can share their opinions on what we wear and products. It’s not the place for being passive aggressive when someone has a different opinion on hair dye to you.

It’s not ‘sad’ that someone who isn’t you thinks differently about hair dye.

Having a pop at someone for ‘attitudes like yours’ is breathtaking frankly.

Grey hair is very variable.

One of my friends has actual silver hair and it’s a beautiful colour, truly gorgeous. Mine was salt and pepper and just looked bad it’s not a nice grey it’s a sort of iron grey, my natural hair colour is very dark like yours @Sexentric and almost black. If my hair was the colour of my friends I would be delighted. @GreyRooted I had an allergic reaction to hair dye. I discovered Daniel Field hair colour and I am not allergic to that.They actually specialise in hair care for women that have had or are having treatment for cancer.

I don’t mind that my hair is going grey but I hate that it is thin and the scalp shows through my hair. Can anyone recommend a product to colour my scalp grey please?

So would anyone rate Plantur 39?

It’s more that they will go brassy on your very dark hair. Don’t do it. Very dark hair has red undertones. Anything, even a semi will lift the base colour and you’ll end up with brassy darks and yellow highlights and silver greys.

@Permanentlybewildered On my journey looking for a dye I was not allergic to I did come across eyeshadow for hair, it was a sort of scalp, root touch up powder. Try googling it, was a while ago and I have never ever used or even tried a product like this, it was an accidental find.

Google dark hair powder and get something like one of these.

there are lots of brands and I can’t recommend which is best as mine has had the label rubbed off but I’ve used boldify but used a stubby makeup brush instead of the sponge. Also the ones that look like a stick with a sponge on top.

get in a colour closet to yours but it’s nit that important to get an exact match as you just rub it a bit to get a hint of colour

Personally, I have never seen anyone with grey hair who I did not assume was older than they were. I just think it's aging and it's not just due to the association of grey hair with age. I think grey is a very harsh, flat colour against someone's face for all skin tones -eg if you have olive/dark skin it clashes with it and makes it more sallow and if you have pale skin it just washes you out completely and makes your entire visage look greyish. Its just not a flattering colour in my opinion.

I also had dark hair like you and have gone a honey/caramel blonde. I didnt think it would suit me at all but it looks great and I've never had so many random compliments. I would try out an app that changes your hair colour first - you can upload a photo and then you can really see what it looks like- you might be surprised by what suits you.

I’ve just started using it (about a week ago) as I want to stop box dyeing. It is quite subtle but I’m pleased so far. It seems to build up a little with each shampoo. I bought the conditioner too but only used it once as it seemed quite drying but shampoo plus my normal conditioner seems ok.

I'm like you in that I had almost black hair ,and grey hairs appear in my teens ( like my gran!). I dyed it for years - browns, red, subtle blonde streaks - but was never entirely happy with it because it didn't look right with my skin. So I stopped dyeing it and just have a sharp cut. It's a relief. It probably does make me look older, but I have my own style clothes-wise and I wear what makes me feel good. Every so often I use Directions ( temporary) every now and then - baby pink, magenta or purple. Own the grey!

I embraced the grey (well, almost white for me) just before I turned 50. Then, I looked young to be grey. The aging has come from changes to my skin in the last couple of years (I'm now 54). I think, but obviously can't know, that if I still had dark brown hair, I would look as old close up as I do now.
I do actually love my hair and havent been tempted to recolour. I have a chin length bob, naturally wavy. I use a purple shampoo so that the white stays white. My eyebrows are still dark, and I use eyeliner and a muted red lipstick for a bit of definition, otherwise I can feel a bit pale all over.

I do. I saw a difference after about 2/3 washes. I started off using it for every wash, 3 times in the first week, then once a week and I’m using it now on every 3rd wash. You don’t have to much as much as you would a regular shampoo.

I did have ginger roots after a couple of washes but soon realised that it was because I was massaging it in too much in that spot so now focus on the length of my hair and just run my fingers through around my roots and don’t have that problem anymore

I stopped dying my hair when I stood next to someone in Superdrug who was choosing grey dye. Like you I went grey very young, and the dye stopped taking as I got older too.
sadly I do think people judge you on having grey hair. My view is that I don’t care what anyone thinks. My hair looks amazing, it’s the healthiest it’s ever been, and I have better things to do than dye my hair. It took 6 hours the last time I went to a salon, and grew out 3 weeks later. I just don’t want to do that to myself, just so others don’t judge me.

Do what works for you, and $€%#~%* anyone who has an opinion on it.

I do think grey hair is aging (I have the same trajectory as you and am now grey) but imo nothing is as aging as dyed black or very dark brown hair over 50.

I have highlights 2 or 3 times a year and make an extra effort with clothes and makeup to combat the aging effect. Also do weights and cardio every day which helps limit the old lady vibe.

i have a neighbour who is pushing 70 and she has Kate Middleton hair but dyed het black. She’s very toned and fit and I think she would look a lot better with something softer.

Same issue with me - very dark hair and had my first greys at 16. Now I am in my early 50s, my hair is very salt 'n' pepper.

I use semi-permanent on it every 6-8 weeks. When I first started dying my hair, I was using Casting but the condition of my hair got worse and worse.

Eventually, I found the professional semi-permanent L'Oreal Dia Color (was DiaRichesse). It leaves my hair very shiny and in fairly good condition. I have used this brand for about 15 years. I only need to use half a tube to cover up the regrowth so a whole tube does 2 dye sessions which is very cost effective.

Would recommend buying the professional hair dye, it is kinder to hair in my experience.

Grey hair always makes people look older IMO. Always. The question is whether you care enough about looking younger to dye your hair every few weeks? If no then go for it. But dont kid yourself- grey hair is aging.

I have highlights on grey hair. My hair looks grey and blonde. It's your very dark hair that might go a bit a l'orange unless you use bleach.

I am 60 and have let my grey grow out. I am about 50% grey. I don't mind it, actually. It is quite sparkly, like highlights. It suits my complexion better than when it was dyed, strangely enough. I got sick of dying it and wouldn't go back now.

I don't think I look any older than my friends who are still dying. But if I do, so what.

Exactly, who cares? Women with dyed hair don't look any younger after a certain age they just look the same age with dyed hair.
I say this as a grey person with blonde highlights! I did grow all my grey in, but it had a tendency to oxidise and go yellowy, so highlights keep it balanced and clean looking. I still look grey, just sorting of blonde grey. I only have quarter head if highlights, under my parting and round my face.