Mumsy and Frumpy

[HelenSkeleton]

I hate the terms mumsy and frumpy and am using it for convenient shorthand. I don't know how else to describe it.

What makes people think someone dresses in this style though? It's more than wearing old fashioned clothes as there's stuff in the shops that look dated. Vintage and old fashioned aren't the same.

How do you avoid it?

I've seen both and yes it is ageist, but that's who I tend to see mostly- older women.

Maybe the don’t care anymore? They don’t feel the need to impress people like you.

So you see mostly older women without style?
I see mostly younger women without style. I live near a university. Most of the young women wear awful baggy grey joggers, crop tops and massive patterned fleeces.
Not a good look, imo. Whatever your age.

Now who's being judgy? 😂

I don't make an effort to impress anyone. I do it for myself. Even now, at home, I have washed and styled my hair and put light make up on.

This whole thread is about 'what is frumpy'.

You live in a uni city-so that's understandable you see younger people.

When I go out I see mostly retired people or those not working full time.

Maybe those 60 plus women have battled ill health, have back pain, are poor and ground down by life in general.

Bloody hell, what a time to be alive.

I'm in my 60s. I colour my own hair, it's shoulder length, so I have it down and silky (well I like to think it is ha!) when going out socially, and a neat up do (or a hair claw) when casual. Very practical for me and looks ok, according to others. Not that I care that much, who wants to be curling or straightening every day.

As for clothes, I refuse to wear dresses unless it's a wedding and I now have several in my wardrobe for that. Midi length is a must, not too fitted, but not a sack, not patterned, colour for the season, green, purple and navy colours are mine!. Footwear is flat, or low heeled nice shape over the instep, never court shoes or boots for formal wear, statement handbag (small) to match dress.

I wear trousers all the time, never jeans I just don't like them on me and the shape/style changes with the wind. So I stick to casual stuff and (horror of horrors), mostly pull on stuff, wide leg. Some tailored for funerals in black. Never use shorts or 3/4 length, just cotton/linen/light material for Summer.

Tops are round neck cotton or similar, no logos, some linen tunic style etc. for Summer. I confess to wearing loose waistcoat type things to feel "finished" for the casual look, but not always.

Around the house and heading to the shops etc. Well it's anything that I won't be arrested for, but neat and tidy just the same. I use padded jackets, the shame....

I am probably the biggest frump in history to onlookers. But since I rarely notice what anyone else is wearing, I doubt anyone is looking at me either!

Like others say Haircut, Bra, Colour.
Posture, walk tall.
I think I dress Mumsey but not Frumpy.I hope. For instance I do not try and dress younger than I am. Nor do I pretend I can fit in size 8Jeans. I wear my size.

I only feel frumpy if it doesn’t fit, decent bras and deportment help most of all.

I think we all go through phases of feeling old / fat / tired…
When I can’t be arsed, or am too busy… Frumpy strikes!

When I do make the effort, I feel & look so much better.
So, it’s not just a clothes thing, it’s a frame of mind IMO.

Oh and around here there’s a “uniform” that women aged 25 -75 all seem to wear, walking type trousers, fleece, fitted t shirt, hiking boots or converse and helly Hansen jackets, men too but looser t shirts and shorts year round

I felt frumpy when I was overweight, my posture was awful with rounded shoulders and a big stomach. I’ve lost almost 4 stone and toned up thanks to the gym and I no longer feel frumpy.

Based on this thread, I almost certainly would be considered frumpy still but I’m really not! I wear leggings and t shirts to go for a walk but aside from that I wear fitted clothes. Not fashionable but not frumpy. And a lot of my clothes come from Vinted because I can afford brands I couldn’t afford new!

I think clothes look frumpy or mumsy when they appear to have been put on in order to cover the body without any focus on style or reflection of personality.

Someone posted earlier asking if their outfit was frumpy. It was a black knee length skirt and a baggy blue jumper with thick black tights. It just looked like she had put on the closest things to hand. The skirt was out of fashion, the jumper out of shape, the two didn't work together shape or colourwise. But they also didn't look awful. They just looked like no thought had gone into them. If she had added some DM style boots and pushed up the sleeves of the jumper, added a big pendant and wrist cuff, it might have looked like the choice of clothing was intentionally chunky and shapeless. Quite a few of DC's female friends dress this way and it works.

I often look frumpy when I don't care or make an effort. I have been trying a bit harder recently and am intrigued that friends, who for years have never given me a compliment, have started saying nice things about my clothes, accessories and shoes. I put more thought into them, and it has a good impact. (Currently wearing a lumberjack shirt and very fleecy track suit bottoms and looking as frumpy as possible but if I'm meeting friends I now try a bit harder.).

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow , ... ‘mumsy or frumpy’ ... Can we ban these awful words?
What word(s) would we use instead?

@Comedycook ,
Overweight but not necessarily hugely so, kind of a slightly dumpy, matronly look. Agree.
Bootcut jeans Disagree.
Overly sensible shoes Agree
Sludgy colours if they don't suit you. There are colours that seem to appeal to frumps. (Showerproof Quilted Gilet at Cotton Traders)
Clothes which aren't fitted... slightly baggy but not enough to be an actual style. agree
Round neck tops - without something like a necklace or scarf.

There's a current thread that has the OP asking if she looks frumpy.

I would say ‘people who aren’t interested in clothes or apprarance’

I also think weight has a lot to do with it. When I was heavy my focus was on trying to hide the fat, wearing what fit. Always black or navy. Rather than what looked good. Completely different mindset snd objective when getting dressed, and even when dressed never felt good about my appearance , more it was as good as it was going to get and passable. Frumpy, yes of course, but not looking as fat as I was was more important to me.

now I really enjoy clothes but bizzarely I don’t ever wear fitted clothes now, other than fitted tops. And a few midi sleeveless column dresses in the summer. I like wide leg trousers, likely as I’m quite tall with long legs, and a flat stomach, I like flowy wide midi skirts, slouchy jumpers, sleeveless fitted tops. lots of silk and cashmere, and I also buy from vinted often, I’ve a thing for Reiss and me and em, and I buy current and in new/good condition, so not cheap but a fraction of the retail price. It’s just good financial sense.

I do buy new from the retailer if I love something and it’s not on vinted, but I always check vinted first. And I find that now when I wear these outfits it looks like it’s supposed to look, like it does in the images, and doesn’t make me look bigger or hang wrong on my body.

Me at a size 18 in cream wide leg trousers, as an apple shape just looked huge, all the proportions were wrong, me in a size 8 or 10 cream wide leg trousers, looks totally different, they hang like I feel they should on my body . Me in a size 18 in a slouchy caramel coloured jumper just made me look huge and like I was wearing a massive jumper, with huge boobs, me in a size 8 slouchy Caramel coloured jumper just looks slim and stylish.And I’m keen to point out I said me here, as others nody shape at any size could mean it works for them, simply these styles and colours didn’t when I was bigger. Not in my head, all I could see was me looking even bigger. So back to black it was.

I went to Primark yesterday and I spotted gorgeous real suede jacket. It was £80 but it looked like high end. Great quality, I couldn’t believe it.

Two things I disagree with here...
Firstly, "mumsy" isn't the 50,60+ bracket. Mumsy is a word for mums of children rather than grandmas- so mostly 30s to 40s. I don't have a word for frumpy in the 50s, 60s, but mumsy isn't really it.

Secondly - I really disagree that make up is necessary. If anything I'm of the strong opinion that badly chosen make up is far frumpier than no make up at all. Splodgy foundation, garish colours, weirdly defined eyebrows etc are far worse than just nothing.

I agree with pps who say looking unfrumpy is mostly about good posture and (I know it's unfair) being slim

Thinking about the older women in my social circle, some of the best dressed and most stylish are overweight and some of the worst are within a normal weight range so I would disagree with you. It probably helps that many of the women are wealthy with lots of time to spend on themselves and also have a very good understanding of how to look their best.

I think you’ve misread my post.

The character of Anne in motherland is what I kind of see frumpy as.

I agree with pps who say looking unfrumpy is mostly about good posture and (I know it's unfair) being slim
Why do you say it's unfair?

Building on pp phrasing i'm going to refer to 'meh' and 'not-meh'. Agree that meh tends to be an outfit which isn't one thing or another, so in my case - mixing my mountain warehouse and my good bag ;)

Colour is an interesting one because the colours that do suit me and make my complexion glow, are also often really unfashionable so fall into meh category.

I feel less meh when I commit to a look and include some well-placed accessories. I've got a lace-blouse-and-tartan-skirt combo that if I wore with sensible shoes and no jewellery would make me feel like an extra from Balamory. With chunky biker boots, oversized coat and a layered chain necklace in my head it's a totally different vibe.

Don’t agree- they are a timeless classic, and are flattering to most figures.

Cardigans = mumsy to me but that’s probably because my DM and MIL lived in them.