Mumsy and Frumpy

[HelenSkeleton]

I hate the terms mumsy and frumpy and am using it for convenient shorthand. I don't know how else to describe it.

What makes people think someone dresses in this style though? It's more than wearing old fashioned clothes as there's stuff in the shops that look dated. Vintage and old fashioned aren't the same.

How do you avoid it?

@Allseeingallknowing , they are fine on someone slim who is not busty.
Anyone else looks like a nursing mother in them.

I agree. And often when you try to unpick why someone looks frumpy, each individual piece of clothing isn’t always terrible, but they don’t hang together as a cohesive outfit.

In Anne’s case the wardrobe director has used the outsize cardies, anoraks and bad hair to signal poor and careworn, even though Anne actually has a science PHD. I think it’s understandable that as women we lean into comfortable, practical, washable clothing that doesn’t need ironing when we have young children. We are trying to get our heads round our changed bodies and are breastfeeding and knackered. Frankly what parents wear on the school run doesn’t matter, but at some point most of us do want to regain our sense of identity and find our self-respect and taking an honest look at ourselves and our wardrobes is a healthy sign.

I think there are two kinds of mumsy. The mumsy Peter Pan collars/dungaree/floral ditsy dresses look, and then the ‘fashion/style isn’t a priority ever/anymore’. So any outfit that hasn’t been thought out.
Black trousers and nice top
Jeggings/batwing/waterfall - anything dated.
Frumpy is also outdated but more shapeless, not matching, comfy shoes - image that comes to mind is blouse/cardigan/skirt/sensible shoes.

Dadsy woukd be jeans and dress shoes (work shoes?) extra points for square toed with a crease. Blazer and jeans (blazer from a work suit - not a casual blazer). Jeans and flipflops.
Frumpy would be cargo pants and Velcro sandals. Beige/grey old jumpers and trousers.

It's unfair because not everyone finds it easy to stay slim - I've never been overweight myself, but that's without any effort on my part, whereas I have friends who have to make lots of effort to stay a healthy weight

baggy shapeless clothes, dull colours, slightly old fashioned looking.

dry robes are frumpy and awful looking in my eyes but I've been voted (in silly awards) best dressed and worst dressed in the same voting period so try and work that one out!!!!!

IME there are women who have children between 35-40 and they are in their 50s when they are still very actively parenting- so yes, they can be 'mumsy'.
My friends only became grans in their late 60s and older.

The OP was the one who used both words interchangeably, if you want to be pedantic on that.

There is a middle way between using no make up and looking like a drag queen.

Why are you focusing on a stereotype of badly applied make up as if it were the only option?

It's younger women who have orange faces, slug eyebrows, huge plumped up lips and massive false eyelashes.

If you use make up properly it just evens out the skin tone, adds some definition where needed and looks very subtle.

Peter Pan collars/dungaree/floral ditsy dresses look I don't think those look frumpy in themselves.
They will look frumpy on someone who'd look frumpy in anything.

I wear dungarees and pinafores a lot and get compliments. They are very 'me', suit me and I feel confident in them.

I don't think I could pull off a peter pan collar or a ditsy print dress. Loose cardigans look hideous on me. The last time I wore one for work, a really sweet and quiet female colleague said 'That cardigan needs binning.'

It's nothing to do with being 'fair'.

Some people make an effort, some don't.

Men and women.

I think so much of it is about intention more than any definitive list of what is frumpy/not frumpy.

Someone upthread mentioned a Mountain Warehouse waterproof coat in teal or purple worn with a smart handbag to somewhere like a restaurant. That could never be unfrumpy.

No thought given to proportions. Hip length baggy tunic with a line mid-calf skirt, coat that ends mid - thigh and ballet flats - never going to look stylish.

No thought given to whether something is a good fit. I have a beautiful pair of Max Mara trousers in a brown wool tweedy fabric. I am currently about a stone too light for them and they hang on me and just look too big. If I wore them now I would look frumpy. When I wore them at my normal size they were stylish. I see so many people in jeans that are far too big for them and they always just look a bit sad. Too tight is also not great, but I think too big can look worse.

A few mentions of dull or sludgey colours but I don't agree, I think if these are the colours that suit you they can look great. I suit khaki and olive greens, my niece looks amazing in mustardy shades. My other niece suits neither. If I wore jewel tones I would look shit.

There are exceptions to almost everything. Apart from waterfall cardis!

Practical haircut, chosen purely for how quick it is to wash and let dry naturally.

Right. Point made. Style has nothing to do with age.

No, Julia! The worst dressed woman on tv
It's like the costume department went into the first charity shop and took all the worst stuff off the rails!

An old boss used to call me mumsy and frumpy behind my back. He only ever saw me on teams, so had no idea how i actually dressed when out of the house, but he knew I had two kids and worked part time, and didn't wear much make up. He was just a regular run if the mill misogynist, but it dented my confidence for years.

whereas I have friends who have to make lots of effort to stay a healthy weight
What sort of effort?

You can look not frumpy even if carrying extra weight.

Poor you 😔. I don't suppose he was an Adonis himself.

Not so "sweet" really. I think she overstepped the mark.

I've all but given up looking stylish. The fashion industry simply doesn't cater to big busted ladies.

...Last time I tried on dungarees it looked like I was smuggling coconuts. Not nearly enough material at the front.

I think Dadsy is a thing too. I love DH to bits, but he is genuinely uninterested in clothes and frequently wears out of style trainers with jeans and a rugby shirt and doesn’t give a toss. I often wish I had his insouciance.

Insouciance? Do frumpy women have this quality, or are they just frumps?

I would say " people who are struggling"

“Matchy” doesn’t mean coordinating. It’s that look with exactly matching bag and shoes, and even top, bottom and jacket, all from the same range/ brand. Far too Hyacinth. Signalls lack of personality and individual style.

Hyacinth had bags of personality!

They really aren’t sadly midi wrap dresses are really dated now and tend to be worn by overweight women who think they are flattering, they are not.

They're just very dated and unflattering even on slim women.