Page 12 | Mumsy and Frumpy

HelenSkeleton · 2025-10-18T11:08:24+00:00

I hate the terms mumsy and frumpy and am using it for convenient shorthand. I don't know how else to describe it. What makes people think someone dresses in this style though? It's more than wearing old fashioned clothes as there's stuff in the shops that look dated. Vintage and old fashioned aren't the same. How do you avoid it?

UpMyself · 19/10/2025 19:47

... I would choose whatever was “fine” and I would select stuff in the morning on the basis of “that’ll do”. It was functional and hid my body and that was it.
Yes, frumpy for me. It'll do won't do.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/10/2025 19:48

Rumpledandcrumpled · 19/10/2025 19:22

Why is someone’s sexuality remotely relevant here, are we not passed that by now?

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It's relevant because people who want to attract men usually dress differently to people who want to attract women.
Also, why is it a problem for you to mention someone's sexuality? What's the problem?

JaquelineHide · 19/10/2025 19:48

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 19/10/2025 19:42

In my head I always think of un-frumpy people as people who got dressed “on purpose”. Doesn’t matter the style really, even if it is a Fat Face tunic and leggings, so long as it looks like they actually chose it because they liked it. Whereas when I was feeling really rubbish about myself, it was because when I (rarely) went shopping I would choose whatever was “fine” and I would select stuff in the morning on the basis of “that’ll do”. It was functional and hid my body and that was it. Nowadays I’m not a style icon but I do try and pick stuff I feel good in and that might reasonably count as an outfit!

I think this is key.

Theseventhmagpie · 19/10/2025 19:49

Slipperfairy · 18/10/2025 14:40

I don't agree. I find zara and h&m expensive for what they are. I also think people can look frumpy in expensive clothes, whereas you can put an outfit together from different sources and look amazing- if you know what you're looking for.

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Totally agree. It’s about being stylish- not how much you pay for the clothes.
I do however think for some being stylish is innate, but most can learn. In any event- why should you care what anyone else thinks if you like what you’re wearing!

Dozer · 19/10/2025 19:50

IME it’s sexist and means the woman isn’t thin, hasn’t ‘done’ her hair, put on make up or spent much time and money clothes shopping.

landlordhell · 19/10/2025 19:51

Theseventhmagpie · 19/10/2025 19:49

Totally agree. It’s about being stylish- not how much you pay for the clothes.
I do however think for some being stylish is innate, but most can learn. In any event- why should you care what anyone else thinks if you like what you’re wearing!

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Yep. My DM was so stylish. She could sew too and would buy things in charity shops before it was trendy and change buttons or adapt things. She just had a good sense of style and what suited her. She valued good fabrics such as wool, linen and cotton. She didn’t own acrylic!

Arraminta · 19/10/2025 19:55

If you distill it right down, to me, it's the difference between just wearing 'clothes' or actually wearing an 'outfit'.

suburburban · 19/10/2025 20:33

Freda69 · 19/10/2025 19:31

Those Toast dresses look like something worn by Victorian orphans in the workhouse.
Fatface do some really good jeans and I’ve got really nice shirts/blouses from White Stuff.

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Yes I would rather buy WS or FF than Toast

Rumpledandcrumpled · 19/10/2025 20:59

Theseventhmagpie · 19/10/2025 19:49

Totally agree. It’s about being stylish- not how much you pay for the clothes.
I do however think for some being stylish is innate, but most can learn. In any event- why should you care what anyone else thinks if you like what you’re wearing!

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I agree with you actually. Some people know how to dress, can pick pieces and put them together and look very stylish. It’s the same as houses, some people can decorate and fill their homes and they look fabulous, and others just can’t do it. Hence why we see things like so many embracing everything grey or the ubquituous shiny brown leather sofas. They just can’t see it and don’t have an eye for it so follow trends and can’t get it right.
,

CarefulN0w · 19/10/2025 21:38

I definitely don’t think all of fat face is terrible, but their blouses and dresses are not good shapes. I’ve also got a brilliant, plain linen dress from seasalt - but am not a fan of some of their patterned stuff.

KittyEckersley · 19/10/2025 22:10

I think Fat Face used to do lots of jersey dresses which were very popular and not flattering. I still see them a lot in charity shops. However, now I think their clothes are nice if you go into the shop.

White Stuff I think is aimed at a slightly older market- 50s? So, if a 30 year old was all in white stuff it could look frumpy, depending on the item. I think the same for Sea Salt.

My mum and her friends love Sea Salt and she is early 70s! My grandmother loved Edinburgh Woollen Mill so probably an age thing.

BigOldBlobsy · 19/10/2025 22:11

User564523412 · 18/10/2025 14:12

Mismatched cheap clothing. Anything from H&M, Zara, Shein or Vinted will look exactly like how much they cost. It's very difficult to style cheap or second hand items unless you're a professional stylist or have extensive experience in fashion which, statistically, most women do not. Individually, any piece of clothing can be made to look nice and stylish but it's usually the entire outfit that fails.

This is not realistic for most people, but if you had the budget to buy designer clothes from head to toe, think £100-1000 per piece then it would be virtually impossible to look frumpy. Expensive clothes have very subtle visual differences or tailoring that are designed to make the wearer look better. Lululemon leggings paired with extremely expensive sneakers will look vastly different to Tesco leggings and outlet store Nikes.

Edited

Hard disagree
I don’t look ‘mumsy’ or ‘frumpy’ but I have a weird style and have good skin, posture etc. I don’t wear designer clothes but have pieces that suit my shape enough years of trial and error trying to look ‘chic’ or classy. It isn’t me sadly. I need to look quirky and a bit haphazard and that’s when I get the majority of my compliments from young and old alike!

I have a friend who for years I thought only wore designer clothes. One day asked her where she got her stuff, she said primark mostly. She’s just got a great figure, an eye for colours and shapes, and is objectively beautiful so makes everything look good!

wearyourpinkglove · 19/10/2025 22:16

I think frumpy is putting practicality and comfort over style, but then trying to hide the practicality and comfort of the outfit by trying to dress it up. Like wearing very practical trainers with rhinestones on them or a nice dress with a puffa coat over the top. I have dressed in a fair few frumpy outfits since having kids and I suppose it is due to lack of time, money and energy. So I suppose being stylish shows that you have time, money and energy to put the effort in.

Charlize43 · 19/10/2025 22:44

Not a fan of leggings outside of a gym or dance / exercise class, much in the same way that men in tracksuits who aren't doing sports just look like slobs, to me.

ozarina · 19/10/2025 22:48

JMAngel1 · 19/10/2025 19:17

I had a very “secret to me” as I didn’t react at all reaction to my DD 15s comment today. We went around two 6th form college open days and she said afterwards that she was proud to me with me as I didn’t look old like the other mums. Now I am 53 and am fairly sure I was definitely one of the older mums (most of them looked in their 40s to me) but I kind of know what she meant as I have my own style and a definite look. I wore very baggy leg jeans with assymetric seams (think major flap as you walk) with stiletto heeled suede boots (the jeans scrape the floor so can’t tell I’m wearing heels but it improves my posture). Then a waist fitting grey wool tiny blazer with 90s style leather slouchy shoulder bag. I have very curly voluminous long bobbed hair inal strawberry copper blonde hair colour. I can sometimes look a little unhinged but I can rock it. I was very chuffed not to look like the middle aged mass mum look (lots of leggings/trainers and hooded parkas).

I don't think it's that age group that are wearing the things you mention. They tend to be women with much younger children.

Idontdobumsex · 19/10/2025 23:40

wearyourpinkglove · 19/10/2025 22:16

I think frumpy is putting practicality and comfort over style, but then trying to hide the practicality and comfort of the outfit by trying to dress it up. Like wearing very practical trainers with rhinestones on them or a nice dress with a puffa coat over the top. I have dressed in a fair few frumpy outfits since having kids and I suppose it is due to lack of time, money and energy. So I suppose being stylish shows that you have time, money and energy to put the effort in.

I remember a post on here a year or two ago where the OP had asked for ideas of outfits to wear on a flight. Someone commented saying that on flights they wear a strapless maxi dress with leggings and puffer coat over the top in the UK and take the coat and leggings off once they landed. That kind of thing screams frumpy

KatyaKabanova · 19/10/2025 23:42

Idontdobumsex · 19/10/2025 23:40

I remember a post on here a year or two ago where the OP had asked for ideas of outfits to wear on a flight. Someone commented saying that on flights they wear a strapless maxi dress with leggings and puffer coat over the top in the UK and take the coat and leggings off once they landed. That kind of thing screams frumpy

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No, I think it's quite creative! Not what I would do, but if it suits her, fair enough! Hardly frumpy, she could have looked good!

Blinky21 · 19/10/2025 23:47

Mumsy to me would be generally clothes from Joules, Fat Face, White Stuff. To avoid it I'd say go for modern shapes for jeans, good trainers, vibrant colours

KatyaKabanova · 19/10/2025 23:47

Blinky21 · 19/10/2025 23:47

Mumsy to me would be generally clothes from Joules, Fat Face, White Stuff. To avoid it I'd say go for modern shapes for jeans, good trainers, vibrant colours

Where from?

Idontdobumsex · 20/10/2025 01:05

KatyaKabanova · 19/10/2025 23:42

No, I think it's quite creative! Not what I would do, but if it suits her, fair enough! Hardly frumpy, she could have looked good!

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A puffer coat over a maxi dress is very frumpy

SouthernNights59 · 20/10/2025 02:38

Rumpledandcrumpled · 18/10/2025 22:29

It’s an interesting question. Some things are ubiquitously both mumsy and frumpy, the bretton top for example. The Chelsea boot. The typical mum uniform that is now frumpy. And then we have the padded jackets. The floral dresses, white trainers, denim jackets.

to avoid it stay current, but something that suits your body shape. Wide legged or gentle flare jeans or trousers, , a midi dress or skirt, in.a good material, current colours and shape, that fits , an over sized cashmere jumper, a silk sleeveless top, an oversized chiffon blouse…for colours, muted , creams beiges, taupes currently, or all one colour, ie all navy or black, a fitted leather jacket, a good one, not biker, so many things, are current, of the 40 plus age range, and should be worn to suit the body shape. And quite frankly not dressing like a teen. As we get older quality counts, and we don’t need to spend a lot of money, vinted is a god send for it.

Clothes that fit, sadly I think weight has a lot to do with it, it’s hard to dress round the middle aged spread , for both men and women, hard but far from impossible, many achieve it

and good hair. a good cut, good condition, subtle make up, good shoes in good condition.

Well I'm 66 and wouldn't wear most of the items on your list, so if it makes me mumsy and frumpy so be it

Ontheedgeofit · 20/10/2025 06:58

I think the key is to dress with intention. Even if someone looks good despite the fact they are wearing leggings and a jumper you will find that it’s not just any leggings or any jumper. They have put some thought into their casual thrown together look.

Leggings that have stretched are not the same as quality leggings. A jumper that fits despite being oversized is not the same as the OPs jumper which has lost its shape.

Something that has really helped me is to have a Pinterest board of outfits that I think look nice but I make sure I sort of have the items already in my closet. I then give it a try with what I have. If I like it, I take a photo of myself and store it to my phone. Then when I’m stuck, I flip through that photo album and pick an outfit I know works and that I was happy in. It’s been a game changer.

KatyaKabanova · 20/10/2025 07:21

I'm going to say that leggings never, ever look good or stylish.
However, I know most people would disagree with me! They are everywhere.

Comedycook · 20/10/2025 07:28

When I was looking for better quality clothes as I'm getting older I used to see fat face recommended a lot on here...I'd never looked at their stuff but there's a branch in my local shopping centre so had a look. I found the stuff really frumpy...I also feel the same about Boden and joules ..what I actually would like is a lot of the styles which fast fashion produces but in a better quality. I actually like the look of a lot of the stuff found on shein, boohoo and cider...but I'd like it in a much better quality but I haven't found any brands which fit that description

GinnBitters · 20/10/2025 07:40

Comedycook · 20/10/2025 07:28

When I was looking for better quality clothes as I'm getting older I used to see fat face recommended a lot on here...I'd never looked at their stuff but there's a branch in my local shopping centre so had a look. I found the stuff really frumpy...I also feel the same about Boden and joules ..what I actually would like is a lot of the styles which fast fashion produces but in a better quality. I actually like the look of a lot of the stuff found on shein, boohoo and cider...but I'd like it in a much better quality but I haven't found any brands which fit that description

I don't think anyone can say that all clothes of certain brands are 'frumpy'. It depends what you're wearing.

I've a lot of Boden clothes but they are all (maybe in your opinion) 'safe bets' for everyday wear - cardigans, cashmere jumpers, summer Ts, jeans, smarter cigarette trousers.

They could come from anywhere- even a designer brand.
I don't 'do' their flowery dresses and garish prints.

Never bought Fat Face as I think the quality is poor and I hate the shops.

I love knitwear from The White Company but only buy in sales as they are now vastly overpriced.