Mumsy and Frumpy

[HelenSkeleton]

I hate the terms mumsy and frumpy and am using it for convenient shorthand. I don't know how else to describe it.

What makes people think someone dresses in this style though? It's more than wearing old fashioned clothes as there's stuff in the shops that look dated. Vintage and old fashioned aren't the same.

How do you avoid it?

Ok, but then are they wearing them 'ironically' like how hipsters wear flat caps?
Because if I wear anything old fashioned, I look terrible, but some cool people can wear things 'ironically'. Geek chic I suppose.

I have to disagree. I'm far from being insecure but I categorise someone as frumpy in just the same way I'd observe them as being Emo, Punk or blonde/red head etc.

To be fair, you wouldn't find those in Fat Face, would you?

I always thought she looked scruffy as anything!

I agree. I think those Toast dresses look good if you are tall, slim and ideally have high cheekbones and strong shoulders. If you are short and/or overweight and/or have round shoulders you will look like you're wearing a hospital gown in one of those.

I do think it's important to dress well for your body shape. I never used to have much of a bust until I started breastfeeding and then my body shape really changed and most of my old clothes don't suit me any more.

For example I used to wear slash neck tops (and I reckon I looked great in them) but now I look terrible in them but better than I used to in wrap tops

I agree. Awful.

Yep. I have a young colleague who wears cardigans, tweed trousers and a bow tie. He has a huge quiff and little round glasses. He doesn't look frumpy or dadsy at all.

Was thinking about this today. There’s a lot going on that’s frumpy before the clothes go on. I think overweight/low pillowy boobs look frumpy. They’re hard to dress. Also frizzy hair. It can look well in a short cut or longer and wilder but when there’s a ‘neat’ grown-out shoulder length that’s bunching out, that’s a frumpy look. Bad posture too. I think the clothes side is looking like you just don’t gaf, but in a downtrodden way, not a bohemian way. It’s stuff like clothes not fitting. Everything being synthetic (younger people get away with that more). Things being a bit tatty, loose threads, bobbly jumpers etc. But hair, bra and posture do a lot.

Do people think he looks good though?
May I ask if he's gay because that whole look is giving 'dandy'.

I thought Meg was the best dressed Motherland character. She usually looked great; and she's a 'larger' size ( and there's nothing wrong with that!). But then their outfits were reflective of their characters, lifestyles and wealth levels.

I do not enquire about the sexuality of my colleagues.

Yes, I would agree - it's interesting that Meg was the largest of the women, but by far the best dressed.

Julia is pretty well off but looked shit to convey the idea that she couldn't run her life I suppose.

Yes, that was all part of the character.

Why are Fat Face/Seasalt/white stuff always considered as frumpy? Every store will have clothes that suit you, and some that don’t.

Because people have fixed ideas about what the shops sell.

I used to think that Seasalt was frumpy patterned tunics, and went in to look for a birthday present for DM. There were dozens of things I liked in the shop.

Same with White Stuff, Fat Face and M&S. I like some things but not others.
They have shops in the high street, which is a big plus.
There are other far more appealing shops too, but I tend to only like a few things in those shops too.
I have some Fat Face jeans and they are comfortable and fit well.

I love going into the Arket shop, but I never see anything I like there. Same with Cos and &OtherStories.

None of the Toast dresses appeal to me.

I think any item of clothing can be cool or frumpy depending on how you wear it.
As others have said it's alot about presentation. Decent underwear, good posture, well fitting clothes (so not oversized unless meant to be).
Also some cohesion in your outfit, so you don't look like you picked up any random shoes and coat. A good hairstyle , doesn't need to be fancy or expensive...just not grown out or lots of root showing.

Obviously we will all disagree on what is horrible as style is personal but I think it helps to get the basics right.

I think how you carry yourself & posture is really important.

I’ve felt frumpy before and both times it was when I was carrying extra weight. My clothes felt tight and uncomfortable, my shoulders felt round and bulky and I just didn’t feel good in anything I wore.

I don’t think it’s how ‘put together’ you are either. I’ve seen mums on the school run in leggings, trainers and fleeces, hair in a bun or pony tail - they don’t look frumpy at all.

Oh dear. The only things I like on the Toast site are footwear, accessories or homeware.

I had a very “secret to me” as I didn’t react at all reaction to my DD 15s comment today. We went around two 6th form college open days and she said afterwards that she was proud to me with me as I didn’t look old like the other mums. Now I am 53 and am fairly sure I was definitely one of the older mums (most of them looked in their 40s to me) but I kind of know what she meant as I have my own style and a definite look. I wore very baggy leg jeans with assymetric seams (think major flap as you walk) with stiletto heeled suede boots (the jeans scrape the floor so can’t tell I’m wearing heels but it improves my posture). Then a waist fitting grey wool tiny blazer with 90s style leather slouchy shoulder bag. I have very curly voluminous long bobbed hair inal strawberry copper blonde hair colour. I can sometimes look a little unhinged but I can rock it. I was very chuffed not to look like the middle aged mass mum look (lots of leggings/trainers and hooded parkas).

Why is someone’s sexuality remotely relevant here, are we not passed that by now?

You'd think.

Those Toast dresses look like something worn by Victorian orphans in the workhouse.
Fatface do some really good jeans and I’ve got really nice shirts/blouses from White Stuff.

He sounds like George McFly'.

👆I’ll never understand why some women swathe themselves in crumpled grey, beige, brown, taupe linen that costs a small fortune the minute they hit mid 50s. Are they auditioning as extras for Oliver?

In my head I always think of un-frumpy people as people who got dressed “on purpose”. Doesn’t matter the style really, even if it is a Fat Face tunic and leggings, so long as it looks like they actually chose it because they liked it. Whereas when I was feeling really rubbish about myself, it was because when I (rarely) went shopping I would choose whatever was “fine” and I would select stuff in the morning on the basis of “that’ll do”. It was functional and hid my body and that was it. Nowadays I’m not a style icon but I do try and pick stuff I feel good in and that might reasonably count as an outfit!