Am I unreasonable to enjoy being challenged by my clothes?

[TroubledBloodyMary]

Prompted by this:

Lyst article

and by reactions on a current H&M thread, I’m wondering if I’m the weird one, rather than everyone else on the Style & Beauty board.

To be fair, I grew up reading Vogue, so am perhaps more accustomed to wildly stylised fashion images and exaggerated clothes than someone younger whose yardstick might be an insta influencer pouting in the mirror whilst showing off her beige leggings. But I’m honestly astonished at the number of perfectly unexceptional things - colourful dresses or furry shoes for example - that people react to with horror here. I do sometimes wonder what S&B is for …

Nobody can stop you from wearing whatever you want. Doesn’t mean I have to think your clothes are nice.

I think I should enjoy wearing my clothes, or at least not be bothered by them, but some of those clothes would frighten horses and little children.

Not unreasonable.
But my own life is challenging enough. I want my clothes to wave a white flag! 😁

I can’t even imagine why I’d want to be challenged by my clothes.

That plastic hoodie thing is so scary that MN won’t allow me to post the photo

Kinda reads that you are saying you are better and more sophisticated than other people, OP!

I think people just want to see what an item looks like on someone who is posing in an everyday way so that the item can be clearly viewed.

I don’t mean actually fighting with me, @NoisyLittleOtter - just not automatically and vociferously rejecting every single garment that seems unfamiliar or surprising.

You want to be challenged by your clothes? Do you mean you want the neck to be a bit small or the zip to be in an awkward position? Or for everything to be deeply uncomfortable and impractical so you are unable to carry out day to day activities in them?

Well I didn’t actually think you meant they were fighting with you, that would be insane as they’re inanimate objects 😂. I meant ‘challenged’ in the same way that you mean ‘challenged’, and I still can’t imagine why I would want to be challenged by my clothes. I wear clothes that I like, and that I feel comfortable in, and that flatter me.

I also can’t imagine vociferously rejecting clothes… I just don’t wear things I don’t like. It all feels a bit dramatic.

@TroubledBloodyMary I agree with you. Often catwalk fashion isn’t worn by ordinary folk until it’s reworked by Zara and others. It informs trends and if people like being more “out there” they absolutely should.

It’s unlikely S&B on MN follows trends - I find it very odd at times. Suggesting clothes from bygone eras that belong in a dressing up box. Each to their own. It’s partly money of course but also the belief that when women work they should look like men and you mustn’t ever get negative comments from people you don’t know. Quite a few of the Lyst clothes were wearable. Mango would be easy to copy and few just a step too far (not the Khaite boots!) but my DD2 would wear clothes like that. I find MN is home to the seriously staid!

I do it all the time - “I hate these fucking trousers” whilst flinging them onto the floor.

Oh yeah, that makes sense. I was imagining yelling at them in the middle of a shop 😂

Observe:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5416668-hm-what-are-they-thinking?reply=147381025

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5413913-is-dd-right-about-this-dress-light-hearted?reply=147366166

This is the sort of thing I mean. And I cannot count the number of threads I’ve carefully responded to where the OP has asked for ‘something different’ but ended up with Hobbs or Phase Eight.

Obviously I don’t think I’m ‘better’ or ‘more sophisticated’ than anyone else, @Poirot1983 - but I don’t think I’ve ever known a time when women (no idea about men and clothes) have been so entrenched in a demand for the determinedly ordinary. (I guess the impact of COL is a different thread.)

You are not being unreasonable. Clothes can be a very enjoyable way of being creative, ask any art student. It can be rewarding to be challenged, whether that’s reading a ‘difficult’ book or playing sport against a better player or taking on a new project at work.
With the exception of the giant hood, I thought most of the clothes in that article were very wearable. I’m not up for the knickers as outerwear myself for a couple of reasons, but life would be boring if clothes always conventional and flattering.

I think I get it.
I do enjoy the challenge of mixing prints or working out which colours would clash together in a 'good' way! Or what to wear with statement pieces of clothing (and how many accessories can I get anyway with before its too much! LOL😄).
But some days you do still want to throw on leggings and hoodie and forget about it.

@TroubledBloodyMary Fair enough, OP. I think I understand now and you are right!

This reminds me of a pair of shoes a friend (who worked in fashion) once persuaded me to buy. I thought they were pretty outrageous at the time but I ended up wearing them a lot. Found a photo of me wearing them recently and friend was right to have talked me into buying them!

Sometimes, it's good to break out a bit.

Oh of course, @henlake7 - I’m sitting at home in a faded YMC sweatshirt, Primark joggers and furry slippers. But I absolutely know that it’s the things that have almost shocked me at first sight that have become some of my most loved outside the house clothes. I’m not really interested in things that are loud or attention seeking - but I am always looking for a new experience; a shape or colour or degree of translucency or crunchiness that I haven’t encountered before. I never buy more than one thing at a time, I almost never have to return things I order, and everything I buy works with what’s already in my wardrobe.

I wouldn’t want to be challenged by my clothes every day, just like I don’t want to read Dickens or eat like a foodie or watch avant garde films every day. But sometimes, yeah.

I think it depends on whether you see clothes as mostly functional or as a way of expressing yourself. I can’t sing or draw or compose music or cook but, for me, getting dressed is an outlet for a bit of creativity and fun. It helps me feel alive.

I think it’s possible to express yourself through your clothes without looking like a fashion victim.

But who cares if a random stranger thinks you look like a fashion victim?

I’m pretty risk averse in most of my life but clothes are one area where I can take a chance and no-one gets hurt.

It’s not about what strangers think. I don’t want to look in the mirror and think I look like even more of a fecking eejit than usual.

Very few people are wearing couture or catwalk stuff, most are wearing the high street version.

I love bright clothes and big puffy sleeves, big print, volume even though as someone short I ‘shouldn’t’ be wearing it.

The best on that link is the Alaia top and skirt, I’d wear that

I love laughing at old photos - looking at some of my outfits and wondering what the hell I was thinking. It’s been a real tonic lately.

If I don't open my wardrobe door with my eyes shut, knees braced for all out assault from my clothing, then what even are clothes for?

I want my clothes to announce my arrival by visually wrestling a toddler to the ground and audibly scaring a nun. I want my clothes to aggressively assert themselves and stylistically challenge the nearest office worker to a square go f8st fight in the local park.

I want my fashion to scream, full throated and bloodied in jaw that I am CHALLENGED.

Or... just wear what makes you happy, OP. Stuff vogue and primark equally.