Am I unreasonable to enjoy being challenged by my clothes?

[TroubledBloodyMary]

Prompted by this:

Lyst article

and by reactions on a current H&M thread, I’m wondering if I’m the weird one, rather than everyone else on the Style & Beauty board.

To be fair, I grew up reading Vogue, so am perhaps more accustomed to wildly stylised fashion images and exaggerated clothes than someone younger whose yardstick might be an insta influencer pouting in the mirror whilst showing off her beige leggings. But I’m honestly astonished at the number of perfectly unexceptional things - colourful dresses or furry shoes for example - that people react to with horror here. I do sometimes wonder what S&B is for …

Ps I do love it when I see other people wearing unexpected outfits, though. A green cape and bucket hat would definitely catch my eye in an appreciative way.

But why would you post on Style and Beauty, then? I know these threads appear on Active Conversations, but surely if you're not interested in clothes then why does a thread on them appeal to you?

I like to wear nice clothes that suit me but no I don’t want to be challenged by them. When I find something I like, I buy it in several colours and basically wear a uniform I’ve created that I know looks good, feels good and doesn’t overly crease or require any for of special care.

Doesn't this depend on your lifestyle somewhat? My full time job requires pockets and the ability to move around almost constantly and occasionally quickly, occasionally to defend myself and others against physical attacks, and sometimes to go outside and walk some distance without much warning regardless of weather - I sit for about 20-30 minutes of a nine hour day, plus commuting. My life outside work doesn't involve a whole lot of going "out out", by choice. I do travel quite a bit by car, train and plane which in my personal opinion is best done in practical clothing.

I quite like bright natural colours sometimes (bright green like new grass, all the different blues the sky can be) and tend to buy from smaller retailers more than the biggest international high street chains about half the time, but I've no interest in being challenged by my clothes - I challenge them, in terms of the things they have to stand up to/ be suitable for 😂

Not the person you quoted, but the “style and beauty” board is the space where people go for any sort of clothing recommendations or ideas - not necessarily particularly stylish or unusual ones. People who don’t want to be challenged by their clothes or be particularly fashionable, but who have to buy an outfit for an occasion, and are looking for suggestions of things they might not have thought of, but that they feel comfortable wearing. That’s ok.

I asked for recommendations for very wide fitting shoes on there - not stylish or interesting ones, but other options I might not have known about - because I want shoes I can fit on my feet. Someone might have last bought an outfit to go to a wedding or a birthday occasion 4 years ago and their body is now a totally different shape and they don’t know what to do. They’re often looking for more normal suggestions or something nicer or more unusual than what they usually wear - people still need advice on that! Just because some people are very stylish and interested in exciting and challenging clothes combinations, doesn’t mean others will just put on any old bin bag without thinking about it.

Style and beauty board is the only place for all clothes discussion - not just exciting and challenging stuff.

Yes, it's not fashion.

This is very true - it's somewhere people can ask for something that'll make them feel confident as a wedding guest who had a baby a few months ago and is carrying extra weight so pre pregnancy clothes don't fit, or what might work for an interview when they last interviewed ten years ago, etc.

I loved loved both The Face magazine and Vogue as a teenager and I totally get it. Clothes can be art and your body a canvas. Beige leggings are just a symptom of societal apathy.

If challenging = high fashion, count me out. It's such an unsustainable way to shop, fast fashion is a scourge and the high-end stuff which is uber fashionable now will be dated by Easter. So you've spent £500 on some "challenging" dress which you have worn once.

I get that in ways it's good to push out of your comfort zone and perhaps try pattern if you usually go for plains, or colour if you tend to neutrals. But if challenging means "wear once and consign to back of wardrobe" - no. I would much rather but classics which I know work, which are comfortable, and which can be worn for years.

@TroubledBloodyMary- I think you are making the mistake of assuming there are two groups of people, those who like clothes and those who don’t, just want comfortable bits of fabric to protect their bodies from the elements/stop everyone seeing their wobbly bits.

But really amongst those who like /care about clothes, there’s two groups.

Group 1- those who like the way clothes present their body. They like the way they look in some clothes, they like clothes to flatter, they want what they wear to make them look sexually attractive or powerful, or look intelligent, or athletic or a selection of other things they aspire to, but the interest in clothes is purely around what the clothes can do for their appearance. This group are interested in what’s in fashion, because wearing what’s in fashion gives you the air of someone who is up to date, can afford to buy new clothes regularly, is able to pay attention. Doesn’t look “dated”.

Group 2 - look clothes in an artistic sense. The body is a way of displaying them. It’s ok to wear something that doesn’t flatter/doesn’t make you look good, what matters is you make the clothes look good. You will “look good” because the clothes are interesting.

Some people can be a bit in 1 and a bit in 2.

OP you are group 2. And struggling to understand that other people who “do fashion” in group 1 don’t do “clothes as art”.

Meh. I hate neutrals and adore bright, hurt your eyes brights. My wardrobe mainly consists of Twisted Wunder and Never Fully Dressed. Sort of endorphin dressing.

If challenging = high fashion, count me out. It's such an unsustainable way to shop, fast fashion is a scourge and the high-end stuff which is uber fashionable now will be dated by Easter. So you've spent £500 on some "challenging" dress which you have worn once.

You're conflating mass market fashion with what the OP is referring to. I have items from brands like Casey Casey, Cabbages & Roses, Batsheva, Eponine and CFCL some of which cost up to £1,000 each. They get masses of wear. I dress them up, I dress them down- nothing is kept "for good" or was bought for a special occasion. The only reason I'll stop wearing them is if they stop fitting.

Do you live in an urban area @IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle?

Yes. Exactly this. Thank you!

Or races to S&B to say, "wear whatever makes you happy!"

You might as well go on any thread on MN and declare "I have no opinion!"

I like my clothes compliant. I don't want to be wrestling them into the washing machine or beating them down with the iron.

Yes. And I only go on holiday to urban areas.

I think it’s easier to dress however you like if you don’t live rurally and have to be practical

@TheLeadbetterLife Yes but suggesting something different or something that’s actually fashionable and picked up by fashion editors is immediately put down as being too “out there”, not suiting a lifestyle, not suitable for MOTB etc etc. Onvuiusly age and shape matter but there’s many up to date fashion pieces for every age and shape.

“The private moment of doubt you have in the mirror transforms once you step outside. What felt risky at home suddenly feels electric in the world, and people notice. Safe clothes are background noise; bold clothes are a full orchestra. And if you’re wondering whether you’ve overdone it, chances are you’ve hit exactly the right note. Nobody remembers the clothes that played it safe; they remember the ones that shifted the room, or shifted you. That little bit of fashion fear doesn’t just change your outfit, it changes your energy. So embrace it. Let your clothes scare you a little. Chances are, that’s exactly what makes them great.”

I don’t agree with this, and I speak as someone who does like to wear unusual pieces. It’s too serious. The clothes used to illustrate the article would have most people howling with laughter (that plastic hooded thing, oh dear. And the H&M dress in the other thread just looks like curtains!) which is not what most of us want to go through.

Also most clothes do need to be a bit (or very) practical so voluminous sleeves, or trousers that brush the floor are just going to end up muddy and wet, sleeves in the washing up water or the toilet bowl, or causing a fire hazard as you make toast- and who over 40 could forget the knee-high sodden legs as we paddled our low-rise, extra-long bootcut jeans through the rain in the late 90s? I don’t like clothes that are too hard work, or which take themselves too seriously when they’re a bit ridiculous. I think it’s that which makes something laughable rather than great.

OTOH, playful clothes worn with humour and a light touch can be fabulous.

I agree with you OP but then my teen DD is growing up reading Vogue so I feel a bit enlightened and understand your point.

This is great! I’m 100% in group 2. The issue is that group 1 can be judgey of group 2’s choices because they’re not “flattering” and group 2 can be judgey of group 1 playing it safe.

I disagree, I love a big billowy sleeve - I just wouldn’t wear it to wash up in?!

And not sure how even the billowiest of billowy sleeves will end up in the toilet bowl or be a fire hazard.

I think I get you. My clothing challenge is no black or denim jeans. That can make shopping more interesting especially when 95% of clothing on sale falls into either of those two categories